I need more Fire emblem on this fucking forum so im going to play PoR and shitpost while doing so

[Fontra]

well well well, look what the cad dragged out of the bag, it's more fire emblem



only way to play first time, blind, baby



ike got knocked out by his dad in the scene before you can watch that here:



anyway there's a tutorial and it tells you how to play the game with Greil telling you to do things like beating up Boyd. All I gather so far about Boyd is he's this guy:









everyone dunks on him



These are Ike's stats. Pretty standard for an FE lord.



Knock around Boyd, the end.





Knock around Greil and this time win, the end.

That's the tutorial. The end.

Just kidding, time to go be a merc:





fuck yeah, cavs



Boyd is me irl isn't he...



Oh this doesn't look too bad.





First turn I have Ike grab a steel sword from this house





Thanks old dude



Oscar plops ike on his horse and moves up



Time to see if Boyd is as bad as Arthur



Well he didn't miss.



Anyway, Titania moves up, takes Ike from Oscar's horse and is plopped down in front then move Titania in front of him.

Enemy phase.



no, it's a bunch of guys on horses with axes, swords and lances looking for a larp group



this guy gets mad and burns a house down



buncha dudes charge at Ike



Boyd gets hit because that's his life



ike what the fuck is this level up jesus christ

Anyway I have oscar run to the house on the left back on player phase and get myself a seraph robe





Enough fucking around. Time to end this shit, but first, throwing Boyd an exp bone:



Now then, time to use the real hero of this game:







Matter of fact, genius, I am. You could've inferred that from me murdering half your shitty gang.







lmao, you fuckin dweeb, you took over a shitty, defenseless town and terrorized it. this is exactly what you're meant for.



Ike caps the point.





One more Boyd own because me irl

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

use jpgs tia

[Perrydotto]

You're gonna enjoy these perfectly preserved jagged edges, Sheep

You're gonna like it

[Fartlord Dunktronix]

help you killed the boss with titania and skipped most of the enemies my skull is going to explode

[Bigdog]

I make this expression irl whilst reading these shitty lps

[West Filly]

I'm not seeing much radiance. It's just a bunch of mercs making money. Either introduce a moral high ground or insert obnoxious lighting effects.

[Fontra]

Okay so I have been putting way too much effort in my previous post. This is the first time I'm playing this game and I want to enjoy it without doing too much work. So basically I'm taking screenshots of whatever is significant so things like map placement and deployment, plot points I find interesting, dialogue I find interesting, level-ups, bosses getting owned, Boyd getting owned, if i have a unit die (I won't I'm just that good ), etc. This will also be the last update with PNG's I'm sure to Sheep's utter relief. Without further ado, I give you Chapter 2: Tanktania



This title is a lie. It's not a rescue, it's a slaughter.

First of all, we meet our first healer, Rhys:





ruh roh what happen?



Taking kids hostage... yes that's a great idea especially if the kids are related to a merc band known for driving out and slaughtering gangs of bandits

Ike decides we all need to rush off before Titania comes back which is not a good idea, dude.



For once Boyd gets an own in on someone else



I haven't even taken my pants of jeeze



Don't get your panties in a twist. There's 12 of them and they're the designated redshirt enemy class of this series.



To start things out, I had Oscar go up here and bait these three idiots into chipping away at him since, running the numbers, yes he would survive the three different hits coming from these chucklefucks, plus healer so we're good



I have Ike and Boyd double-team this genius. Ike got hit a bit.



But, like I said, I got a healbot here.



this last bandit missed by the way. Even if he did hit him, Oscar would still be fine.



Ugh, yeah Res is what we needed here Boyd.



Good job



...literally a fucking 0 growth level-up for Oscar. Fuck you, game.

Well doesn't matter because the real hero shows up anyway:



Tanktania herself is here





I mean not the smartest move, but we weren't having too much trouble with them. You, however, will make this much easier, miss Tank.









Did I mention cavalry are my favorite units in the entire series? Not only do I slaughter that bandit with a steel axe, I can move up further and have Titania stare at them menacingly as she waits for the lambs to come to the slaughter.

I reeeeaaally like Titania so far by the way in case you can't tell. You know all those units who are ready to charge at her on enemy phase in the above screenshot?



That was their final living moments.





...not conducive to your health, dude





...I think Titania just moved up to being my second-favorite character in the entire series after Finn now

Anyway Ikananaana get dies and is never heard from again (I didn't nab is death quote at the right moment.) This ends the chapter.

Now we get our stupid kids back, right?





No, Sheep's favorite character comes along and threatens to kill the kids for reasons. He convinces Ike and co. to drop their weapons or he'll kill them then proceeds to do so anyway... or makes the attempt until



The hostage-taker gets shot by Unknown



Oh his name is Shinon



Also this guy shows up too and he's an instant-bench armored unit



I mean yeah they did save the kids so it wasn't a total waste of time... though we probably only needed Shinon.



Mist getting owned.



agreed, Tanktania. Agreed.

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]