Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Perpetual Motion (?) » Sat Oct 13, 2018 3:57 pm

Were you just summoned by letter, or actually selected out of the jury pool? If the former, then there's a good chance you won't even be selected, and if you are, you get to make your case to the judge in person as to why you shouldn't be on the jury. Poor mental health would almost certainly be a sufficient reason, I think. Don't despair just yet, you've got this!

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Princess Flufflebutt (?) » Sat Oct 13, 2018 4:05 pm

Minty, don't be so hard on yourself. This is a mistake anyone could've done. It's a mistake I would've done. It's not a fun thing to have happened. You are right to feel frustrated and sad and whatnot to have been picked for such a thing. Don't they have to make sure you're fit for it when you're there anyway? I don't know much about jury duty so i can't help you there, but I'm sure others here can.
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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Mr. Big (?) » Sat Oct 13, 2018 4:27 pm

Perpetual Motion wrote:
Sat Oct 13, 2018 3:57 pm
Were you just summoned by letter, or actually selected out of the jury pool? If the former, then there's a good chance you won't even be selected, and if you are, you get to make your case to the judge in person as to why you shouldn't be on the jury. Poor mental health would almost certainly be a sufficient reason, I think. Don't despair just yet, you've got this!
Yeah, this. I got a jury duty summon last month via a letter, but never even had to go to the courthouse.

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by minty (?) » Sat Oct 13, 2018 5:07 pm

They don't make sure you're fit at all. I've heard of dead people and dogs being called to jury duty. :fluttershrug:

And yes, it's just the letter. I'm just worried they won't accept mental health as an excuse because I don't have the form I filled out and got someone to sign for me, since they have the only copy. I can't refill it because it's not online. I was supposed to send contact information to the letter not this stuff. I'm worried they may throw out the excuse form and doctor's note, and either claim they never got it or tell me it wasn't their department so of course they got rid of it. Granted, if I go there they'll probably take one look at my nervous, no eye contact self and reject me. It would be like putting a paranoid Boomhauer on their jury. I could take my autism diagnosis, but I don't want anyone reading that embarrassing old thing. I got a photocopy of the doctor note so that's something.

I know if all else fails, I'll bring a metric ton of stuff to entertain me. All the books, the 3DS, maybe I'll get some new books to read then. I hope I don't have to wait all day and get seen another day. Hell, I'll bring my cat.

Thanks everyone though. I know it's not as scary as it seems, and they're not choosing me to spite me, but it's all just terrifying for some reason. I guess never mess with an autstic's routine? :pinkieshrug: Doesn't help that the letter is so threatening: "Come here or jail, motherfucker!"

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Madeline (?) » Sat Oct 13, 2018 5:25 pm

You can explain what happened and the judge would probably let you off, especially with your photocopy, because mistakes happen all the time. And as others have said, you might not even have to go. But it’s okay that you feel stressed over it, too, because you’ve had a bad year and like you said, it’s out of your normal routine. It’s hard not to catastrophize under the circumstances. But you’ll be okay. You’ve got your backup plan if the worst does happen, so you’re at least a little prepared now. Just think of it that way—you’ve got options. Now go do something you like doing to take some of the edge off. :flutterunsmith: Just do the best you can in your current moment, and if it’s not your absolute best, that’s okay too. Nobody is perfect or superhuman.

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by minty (?) » Sun Oct 14, 2018 3:18 pm

I'm doing a little better today. I'm trying to write a letter to explain my situation. I tried calling the post office yesterday but they said there was nothing they could do, but I could try calling again Monday. I'll also try phoning the courthouse.

I find I've been neglecting myself a bit, I haven't taken medication for two days. So I'll try to be more careful.

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by West Filly (?) » Sun Oct 14, 2018 11:41 pm

I lost control of my motorbike today and slid along the road when I should have been cornering. I'm okay save for a swollen ankle and a shoulder that's stiff in some directions. The bike still runs and still rolls just fine but this happened at night time so I wasn't happy to ride away without being able to inspect the bike properly. I got a friend of mine to take it to their house in a trailer and we'll look at it on Tuesday when it's light.

I think it's going to be expensive to replace some of the parts.
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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Madeline (?) » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:37 am

minty wrote:
Sun Oct 14, 2018 3:18 pm
I'm doing a little better today. I'm trying to write a letter to explain my situation. I tried calling the post office yesterday but they said there was nothing they could do, but I could try calling again Monday. I'll also try phoning the courthouse.

I find I've been neglecting myself a bit, I haven't taken medication for two days. So I'll try to be more careful.
I’m rooting for you, if it helps.
West Filly wrote:
Sun Oct 14, 2018 11:41 pm
I lost control of my motorbike today and slid along the road when I should have been cornering. I'm okay save for a swollen ankle and a shoulder that's stiff in some directions. The bike still runs and still rolls just fine but this happened at night time so I wasn't happy to ride away without being able to inspect the bike properly. I got a friend of mine to take it to their house in a trailer and we'll look at it on Tuesday when it's light.

I think it's going to be expensive to replace some of the parts.
Oh man, that suck. :fluttersmith:

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Sailor Yue (?) » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:51 am

https://m.wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-Jury-Duty

Also there is a 50/50 chance you won't get called in but this should help

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by minty (?) » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:55 pm

Thanks for everyone's support. After all that worry? I got dismissed. Hurray!

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Mr. Big (?) » Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:58 pm

minty wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:55 pm
Thanks for everyone's support. After all that worry? I got dismissed. Hurray!
Woot! And at the very least you know what to do if you get jury duty summons again

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Madeline (?) » Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:00 am

minty wrote:
Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:55 pm
Thanks for everyone's support. After all that worry? I got dismissed. Hurray!
:yay: That’s great!

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Sailor Yue (?) » Sat Oct 20, 2018 2:50 am

I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it by the end of the month. I've got 3:bills coming up, I'm spending way too much on food for me and my family because we are homeless and can't store food, I haven't been making any money, I'm barely ending h night with enough money for gas. I feel my only solution is to essentially overdraft my bank account several hundred dollars just so I can come out for the end of the month

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Sailor Yue (?) » Mon Oct 22, 2018 11:26 pm

"I don't do people wrong" "I never rip people off" "I'm Christian, it's against my morals" blah blah blah fucking blog

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Octavia (?) » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:22 am

I think my 21-year-old car has finally hit the point where it's not worth repairing. I'd rather just donate it to charity, get a little tax deduction, and use public transportation or my partner's car than pay 3 times what the car is worth just to get it running again.
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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Madeline (?) » Sun Oct 28, 2018 10:47 pm

I’ve been running to the restroom all evening :bluh: not a big deal, but I’d like it to stop.

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Snowfire (?) » Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:07 pm

So my unemployment is running out next week, and Massachusetts won't offer me an extension. My only option is to wait until December 15 when I can open another claim because I got laid off earlier this year. Which means that I am going to have ZERO income coming in for at least a month, maybe longer.

Of course my mom doesn't help. She thinks I can just get a part time job immediately and everything will be okay, but no employer works like that.

I have another interview tomorrow, but if I get a part time job, I'm gonna have to start planning my job hunting around my part time one. And then if I go back on unemployment in December, I will have to report that income and get penalized for working part time.

I would have been better off having my medical issues kill me when my dad died. At least then I wouldn't be a fucking burden on my entire family. :cry:
Last edited by Snowfire on Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Perrydotto (?) » Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:20 pm

What do you mean by help? Money? You didn't post a Paypal link or anything.

Were or are there any work placement programs from the unemployment agency? Can you get food stamps or go to a local food programme to at least have something to eat?

Also why would the part time job end in December? Is it explicitly a position that would only last 3 weeks?

Your mom is still a very cruel person, I have to say. Considering everything you've told us about her over the years, she seems purposely ignorant of the reality of things, and especially of your needs. You're not a burden or a waste, and as far as I'm concerned, a parent who makes you feel that way on a regular basis is seriously failing you.

Please seek help if you are seriously entertaining the scenario of death. You're in a tough spot that you don't deserve, and around a person who is treating you like dirt. It's awful, and I feel for you. But death is not the preferrable option, it never is. There is still chance for improvement of your current situation - With death, there isn't. Don't let your mom's cruelty mislead you on this. Cut her out and remember that there is a life for you, with better chances and better people.

I'm really rooting for you. I know it's easy for me to say this because all I got are written words on the internet, but I really hope you don't give up, as tempting as it might be. Things can and will be better than this.
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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Snowfire (?) » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:08 pm

Perrydotto wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 8:20 pm
What do you mean by help? Money? You didn't post a Paypal link or anything.
Forget I said anything. I don't need my Mom finding out about "strangers on the Internet" giving me money so I have to hear THAT lecture too.
Were or are there any work placement programs from the unemployment agency? Can you get food stamps or go to a local food programme to at least have something to eat?
I've been using the Massachusetts JobQuest website to find work all along, but I don't think there are any work placement programs for computer programmers. I have reached out to former bosses and haven't found anyone who can help. I haven't looked into food stamps yet, but food isn't really something I'm worried about because I can always go to my Mom's house to eat. I'm more worried about the bills I'll need to pay (rent, car insurance, health insurance, cell phone... it all adds up to well over $1000 per month).
Also why would the part time job end in December? Is it explicitly a position that would only last 3 weeks?
No, it would, of course, last for longer, but what I was getting at is that unemployment punishes me for working and earning money.

Before I was getting $280 per week after taxes from unemployment (when not working). If I reapply in December for unemployment and I get back on it, I would be getting unemployment money AND the part time job money at least. Massachusetts requires you to report ALL income that you earned for each week you claim, so if I earned $150 from my part time job, instead of $280 from unemployment, I would only get $130. Unless I found a part time job where they paid me under the table and I didn't have to report it.

And like I said, that's not including the fact that I would now have to do job hunting while working around a part time job, whereas before I could just schedule interviews whenever.
Your mom is still a very cruel person, I have to say. Considering everything you've told us about her over the years, she seems purposely ignorant of the reality of things, and especially of your needs. You're not a burden or a waste, and as far as I'm concerned, a parent who makes you feel that way on a regular basis is seriously failing you.
Funny thing is, my brother and sister are currently not speaking to her (or me for that matter but I have no idea why), so she keeps reminding me how much I do for her and how I'm her favorite child. So if I try to distance myself, she will have no one left except her boyfriend (fiancee at this point, I didn't post about that...).

I forgot to mention she also told me today that I am just "not putting enough effort in". It was unclear whether she meant in job hunting or my appearance. She constantly tells me I look like shit if I have even a TINY bit of facial hair and DEMANDS that I shave EVERY DAY, even though she doesn't see me every day. She thinks that if I forget to shave one day and have an interview, they will not hire me because my face will, to quote her, "look like Pigpen from Peanuts".
Please seek help if you are seriously entertaining the scenario of death. You're in a tough spot that you don't deserve, and around a person who is treating you like dirt. It's awful, and I feel for you. But death is not the preferrable option, it never is. There is still chance for improvement of your current situation - With death, there isn't. Don't let your mom's cruelty mislead you on this. Cut her out and remember that there is a life for you, with better chances and better people.
I don't know if I'm there yet. I would have to have my mom no longer be around (so I couldn't move back in with her), and be homeless to even consider it. I know that's not what I should be saying, but I'm fucking 32 years old, and my life has gone nowhere. My brother and sister have full time jobs and are actually not asking my mom for money every week to eat like I am. I'm supposed to be the oldest. I'm supposed to be the provider for my family now that my dad is gone (maybe not financially but as the "man of the family" figure), and I have failed utterly at that.
I'm really rooting for you. I know it's easy for me to say this because all I got are written words on the internet, but I really hope you don't give up, as tempting as it might be. Things can and will be better than this.
Your words always mean a lot to me Perry. :flutterunsmith: I just don't know how this is going to end up. I can still kind of see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's getting a lot dimmer.

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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by diribigal (?) » Thu Nov 08, 2018 7:51 am

I don't really have a great knowledge of any of this stuff, so forgive me if this is all stuff you know/are doing.

You mentioned unemployment and that your medical bills are like $1000 a month. That makes me worry you aren't taking advantage of medical-focused help. I did a search for Chron's medicaid and stumbled upon a page suggesting that "You may qualify to receive social security disability insurance (SSDI) benefits". If you haven't already exhausted medicaid/SSDI/special local programs, I'd definitely recommend putting the time in to research everything and to post somewhere else (on medical forums?) to find out if there's an option not easy to find by blind searching. I hope there's something that could help out.

If you want part time programming work, another option is to use your resume and/or portfolio and advertise programming commissions. Also, I don't know if it was a legal requirement or something, but if possible I would not limit yourself to the JobQuest website in search for regular part-time programming work. Especially if you're telecommuting, the job might not even need to be in your state.

If/when you do get interviews, it's annoying but you want to "check all the boxes" so you don't get cut for a silly reason. Make sure your resume has no typos, make sure your face is well groomed (and for many, not shaving for a single day is enough to get you out of that zone) etc. I'd look up lists of this stuff on the internet to refresh my memory. To be clear, I am not saying this is any evidence in favor of your mother; it really sounds like she's not treating you with basic respect you deserve.
Snowfire wrote:
Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:08 pm
I'm supposed to be the oldest. I'm supposed to be the provider for my family now that my dad is gone (maybe not financially but as the "man of the family" figure), and I have failed utterly at that.
This is a useless expectation to have (maybe put in you by your emotionally manipulative mother?). Like any person, you're supposed to do the best you can for yourself and those you care about.

If "the best you can" is less than your siblings' due to medical issues, that's not your fault. And I don't know if this is the case, but if your mother isn't a person you care about (much?), that's fine, too.
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Re: Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Post by Snowfire (?) » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:30 am

diribigal wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 7:51 am
I don't really have a great knowledge of any of this stuff, so forgive me if this is all stuff you know/are doing.

You mentioned unemployment and that your medical bills are like $1000 a month. That makes me worry you aren't taking advantage of medical-focused help. I did a search for Chron's medicaid and stumbled upon a page suggesting that "You may qualify to receive social security disability insurance (SSDI) benefits". If you haven't already exhausted medicaid/SSDI/special local programs, I'd definitely recommend putting the time in to research everything and to post somewhere else (on medical forums?) to find out if there's an option not easy to find by blind searching. I hope there's something that could help out.

If you want part time programming work, another option is to use your resume and/or portfolio and advertise programming commissions. Also, I don't know if it was a legal requirement or something, but if possible I would not limit yourself to the JobQuest website in search for regular part-time programming work. Especially if you're telecommuting, the job might not even need to be in your state.

If/when you do get interviews, it's annoying but you want to "check all the boxes" so you don't get cut for a silly reason. Make sure your resume has no typos, make sure your face is well groomed (and for many, not shaving for a single day is enough to get you out of that zone) etc. I'd look up lists of this stuff on the internet to refresh my memory. To be clear, I am not saying this is any evidence in favor of your mother; it really sounds like she's not treating you with basic respect you deserve.


This is a useless expectation to have (maybe put in you by your emotionally manipulative mother?). Like any person, you're supposed to do the best you can for yourself and those you care about.

If "the best you can" is less than your siblings' due to medical issues, that's not your fault. And I don't know if this is the case, but if your mother isn't a person you care about (much?), that's fine, too.
I have tried applying for disability twice and they have turned me down twice. I can't apply again for a few months.

My medical bills aren't $1000 per month. My OTHER bills are. My rent, my car insurance, my health insurance, my student loan payment... They all need to get paid.

I had my resume professionally proofread so there are no errors. I also clean up and shave before EVERY interview. Don't know why my mom thinks I don't.

I already am helping someone with their website part time and getting paid under the table for that, but she doesn't always need my help, and I'm not going to charge her if I am not working on the website.

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