Pony Joe's: Post Not-So-Great Things That Happened

Maximum Tomfoolery · Post by **Maximum Tomfoolery** (?) » Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:50 pm

edit: better suited for the other thread.

Princess Flufflebutt · Post by **Princess Flufflebutt** (?) » Fri Dec 22, 2017 4:41 am

So, I can tick getting hit by a car off my bucket list.

I'm fine though. Mostly. Nothing broken except my ego. A tad sore here and there and my nose has never been prettier. I'd put Rudolph to shame! The worst so far is that my nose injuries make it hard to chew. And showering was painful.

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Fri Dec 22, 2017 5:03 am

Oh gosh Fluffle

That's awful. I'm very grateful nothing worse happened to you, but geez, still. Be as well as you can and treat yourself.

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:47 am

Oof! Glad you're okay, but yeah, take it easy to recover from the pain.

PhoolCat · Post by **PhoolCat** (?) » Fri Dec 22, 2017 6:30 pm

Did you get an xray? I got knocked off my bike by a car and had a hairline fracture in my cheekbone that they nearly missed.

Princess Flufflebutt · Post by **Princess Flufflebutt** (?) » Sat Dec 23, 2017 3:09 am

Come to think of it, no. I was too out of it still to ask about it too. In retrospect it was odd despite me feeling little pain at first.

PhoolCat · Post by **PhoolCat** (?) » Sun Dec 24, 2017 7:04 am

I've done me back in.

No idea what I did, but I was bending over slightly at the supermarket checkout to put a coupon in the slot like an old man, when my lower back spasmed and twinged and wouldn't take my weight - like an old man.

I'm now hobbling around not able to bend over or carry shit - I even had to get Dormouse to help put my socks on D:

Gods, I feel old.

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:47 am

Get well soon, Phool! Back stuff gets shittier as you get older, but helpful exercise and whatnot can diminish a lot of the problems. Do talk to your doctor first though, since the exact nature of your back problem determines what kinda exercise would be good. Rooting for you that you don't have to hobble too badly over the holidays.

Angel Beat · Post by **Angel Beat** (?) » Mon Dec 25, 2017 6:59 pm

I'm really not feeling the holiday spirit this year.

It's most likely due to my depression but still, it's the first time I actually feel like skipping christmas.

And I hate feeling that way.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** (?) » Mon Dec 25, 2017 9:21 pm

Angel Beat wrote: ↑
Mon Dec 25, 2017 6:59 pm
I'm really not feeling the holiday spirit this year. It's most likely due to my depression but still, it's the first time I actually feel like skipping christmas.

And I hate feeling that way.

Christmas is such a high-anxiety time of year, especially if you have a large family. I'm always relieved when it's over.

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Tue Dec 26, 2017 1:11 am

Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts to you and anyone feeling like you, Angel Beat. The holidays won't last forever, you'll make it.

Angel Beat · Post by **Angel Beat** (?) » Thu Dec 28, 2017 4:37 am

Octavia wrote: ↑
Mon Dec 25, 2017 9:21 pm
Christmas is such a high-anxiety time of year, especially if you have a large family. I'm always relieved when it's over.

Perrydotto wrote: ↑
Tue Dec 26, 2017 1:11 am
Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts to you and anyone feeling like you, Angel Beat. The holidays won't last forever, you'll make it.

Thanks, you two.

Now that the holiday's over, I am getting a bit calmer again.

theGECK · Post by **theGECK** (?) » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:18 pm

-Deleted-

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Fri Dec 29, 2017 3:11 am

Confronting that kind of horrible side about our partners is extremely daunting. In all honesty, everyone has the potential to be cruel and unkind - But if someone has very real compounding factors, as much as it might hurt, those need to be taken seriously too. Your partner is very likely scared out of their wits too and trying to move on as quickly as possible because they might not enjoy thinking of themselves as a potential abuser. Having to confront the horrible pains someone put us through and that we might even be paying that pain forward hurts very, very much. But for a healthy relationship, it's essential to do that. It sucks, it hurts, it forces us to see ourselves/our partners in a very serious, unpleasant light - But I believe it's the only way to really maintain trust in face of those kinds of overwhelming feelings and fears.

If you don't talk about it and don't try to be as honest as possible, that free room can be taken up by doubt and fears and tension - And that very tension can lead down a volatile emotional situation that might bring out that abusive side again. From all my experiences with abuse, stress is a big catalyst for it.

I'm really rooting for you that you can be safe and confront the issue with your partner in a way that makes you both feel safer. Just don't try to ignore what happened, there is nothing good to come from that at all. Fear and mistrust is poison for this sorta issue.

theGECK · Post by **theGECK** (?) » Fri Dec 29, 2017 9:34 am

-Deleted-

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Fri Dec 29, 2017 1:55 pm

It's definitely good to take notes of red flags while you observe and work on how you judge yourself and your partner's behaviour. The money thing is absolutely a red flag, in my opinion. Wanting to discuss spending behaviours and big purchases as a couple is absolutely fair - Being interrogated about a coffee is most definitely not.

When you say that things aren't getting better as you try to stand up to your partner's behaviour patterns more, do you mean it doesn't get easier or do you mean your partner is actively reacting negatively? Is there pushback? If so, that would also be a red flag. Be safe and keep an eye on things as calmly as you can, but when possible, try to see how much your partner acts with respect for you and your needs. Whenever they dismiss them, try to take note. If they consistently act in a way that diminishes you and or your behaviour, your needs, your interests, any of those things, that is a big red flag. A relationship is a give and take, and while it's obviously never gonna be exact 50/50, the respect should very much feel mutual. A healthy relationship doesn't make you feel like you are constantly being put under pressure or judgement. Strong hypocrisy is also not healthy (e.g. judging you heavily for how you spend your money but apparently freely spending it themselves).

Keep observing and taking notes. Even if you feel like it's not right and it's your fault after all, keep looking. There are things that are not acceptable in a healthy relationship, no matter who you are and how you act. Your partner might have very legitimate issues, mental or otherwise, that make them behave this way - But that doesn't make it acceptable.

Kronos · Post by **Kronos** (?) » Tue Jan 02, 2018 12:18 pm

Just got word back from another recruiter that I have not been selected to move on.

Really getting fucking aggravated at this - it's like every single thing I attempt to do to get hired is thrown back in my face and nobody will fucking tell me what I am doing wrong. Especially how everybody in this godforsaken city says tech companies are hiring new college grads left and right (at this point I'm almost two years after graduation but my degree can't be that out of date already) and then can't actually point me in the direction of these supposed companies.

Additionally, I had two companies who said they were looking to fill roles by the end of December that both looked like good positions, except BOTH of them suddenly never got back to me and are no longer responding to my emails.

I'm particularly feeling like getting a degree was nothing more than a sinkhole of money and time. A degree doesn't get you SHIT anymore.

Sailor Yue · Post by **Sailor Yue** (?) » Tue Jan 02, 2018 1:13 pm

New year's was interesting... Uneventful for the most part except the meth heads I had in my cab... I was scared out of my mind... o.o

Dragoness · Post by **Dragoness** (?) » Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:47 am

I'm basically being evicted and have nowhere to go

Angry Critter · Post by **Angry Critter** (?) » Wed Jan 03, 2018 11:04 am

I got stormed on a lot today and it's like I'm chilled down to my bones. Bah. Gonna treat myself the rest of the day...

Dragoness · Post by **Dragoness** (?) » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:52 pm

goin to a shelter. because my laptop is broken that probably means i won't be around much for a while.

nt that I'm around much on here anyway but w/e

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Wed Jan 03, 2018 8:37 pm

I really wish I had more useful things to say or do for you, Sarah, but you'll be in my thoughts, and if anything at all comes to mind that might help you, I will let you know. Whatever strength you need to make it through somehow, I wish that you get it.

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:25 pm

The past week I've been feeling depressed. Maybe it's just because Christmas is over, but I'm going through the dread that this is my peak in life, and it's not going to go up from there.

Not just in terms of my work in comics (although it's definitely part of it), but also in terms of my chances in relationship, being out on my own, etc. Even if I AM making progress, it's feels too ungodly slow. I can't be here forever.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. Even with the blues I'm not letting it stop me from working hard on my goals. Wish me luck.

EDIT: Reading what I wrote, and thinking back, I think I am going on the right direction, but it's still frustrating.

Captain Rufus · Post by **Captain Rufus** (?) » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:26 pm

If it helps any the last 3-4 weeks have been DEATH BY A 1000 CUTS to me. Now given the timeframe my parents passed and how alone I am most of the time the Winter Holidays season is already a big fat bag of suck. Add in extra hours at work, less sunlight (I work nights and sleep days so I don't get much sun at all for 4 months!), and the cold and its already a storm of misery.

Except thanks to the weather its been worse except I also know it could have been 100x worse instead of my money going Tubby Bye Bye and my already limited free time being spent trying to fix as much of it as I can on my own without having a nervous breakdown.

Short summary: Car hits black ice on way home, smash a mailbox, come within inches of hitting a power pole. Spend 30 to replace neighbor's mailbox, have some side body trim damage and some damage to the front license plate.

Then a couple days later the car battery basically decides I WANNA DIE NOW so on a major workday (NYE) I am fretting as it takes 3 hours for roadside to get to my house and give me a jumpstart. Thankfully I had a late start that night and some OT when the car started up in the garage and Walmart had their tire and lube open at 7am so I got there right as they opened after work and only lost a couple hours of sleep. And a 100 bucks for a new good battery.

A day or two after? Water doesn't come on but thankfully running it for a bit makes it come on. I am in the process of now putting pipe insulation tape on as much of the pipes in the basement as I can. But it uses a LOT of the stuff and I have only been able to get 2 rolls at 6 bucks each when I can find it. Ill need a good 3-4 more rolls of it. Plus some Duct Tape as it doesn't seem to stick as well as I think it should so best to shore it up yeah?

I also dropped another 25 on another space heater cuz super cold and when it gets below Zero F a space heater running in the basement might be just the thing to keep the pipes warm enough that they won't burst or freeze.

But then today the day of BLIZMAGGEDDON I do some shoveling to my car and start in front of it so I can get to work and all tomorrow. Spend about an hour. Then come in to warm up and take a nice soak. Water coming out of the bathtub isn't hot and I am hearing a weird noise. I go downstairs to check and there is water spraying everywhere out of a very old washing machine hose that is so rusted I can't remove it. Thankfully it hadn't gotten to flooding yet but it was starting to spread. Managed to shut off the valve with the aid of pliers, a monkey wrench, and a hammer. Then ran a wet vac to get as much of the water off the floor as possible especially given this weekend. I use some of the insulation to cover up the broken metal bit of the hose as even with a hammer and a flathead screwdriver after using a hacksaw to open a bit of the hose connector that SOB still aint coming off so as to keep the super cold air this weekend from having the remotest chance of getting into the pipe and freezing it somewhere else. (One of my space heaters is currently running duty to help dry things up faster.)

So now I have to call a plumber as I have another drip that needs looking at anyhow and with the super cold my electric bill is gonna be pure evil. Just as I am within a half payment of getting my car paid off (well sans the 401K loan. Ive technically been double paying my car for the last year more or less.) all this STUFF happens. No real time to rest, money going out the window, stress making me more miserable than usual.

This has been my life for 3 odd weeks now. Yeah.

Dragoness · Post by **Dragoness** (?) » Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:46 am

Dragoness wrote: ↑
Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:52 pm
goin to a shelter. because my laptop is broken that probably means i won't be around much for a while.

nt that I'm around much on here anyway but w/e

ended up not going to a shelter because all the ones nearby are full because of the cold snap which just means I'm trapped in a shitty situation with nowhere to go

Angry Critter · Post by **Angry Critter** (?) » Sat Jan 06, 2018 12:20 pm

Shit, Sarah :C I completely missed your situation; I didn't expect something so heavy in the 'bad day' thread... If I seemed insensitive or like I was disregarding you or anything, I'm sorry.

As for your situation... I really wish I could help. Stay strong, I really hope you'll end up some place nice for you.

Soft Snow · Post by **Soft Snow** (?) » Sat Jan 06, 2018 12:45 pm

Well, my car wouldn't start this morning and still recovering from the flu that was a problem. My sister was moving out today and she had three of her friends with her. So I asked if any of them could give me a jump. They said alright so I got my jacket on and the jumper cables ready. They said they would move a few more things before they would help me. So I sat there in the living room with my jacket on waiting for them to get done. They got done and I reminded my sister I still needed a jump. She told me she was to busy right now and hopped in the car and left.

I figured she wouldn't help because she isn't very dependable so I was looking up instructions on how to do it while I waited for them. I used my mom's car but I didn't know how to pop her hood so I had to look that up as well. I got all the cables hooked up and everything when the neighbor showed up and I asked for help and he lend a hand and the car just started right up.

It wasn't that hard and took less then five minutes to do. Kind of disappointed in my sister that she said she would help me with this rather minuscule favor and just blew me off like that.

Captain Rufus · Post by **Captain Rufus** (?) » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:42 am

Some people just don't give a damn about others Snow. It's not always out of malice but most folks don't care about anything but themselves.

Angry Critter · Post by **Angry Critter** (?) » Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:53 am

Captain Rufus wrote: ↑
Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:42 am
Some people just don't give a damn about others Snow. It's not always out of malice but most folks don't care about anything but themselves.

Hm... I'm not saying it's like this in this particular case, but I think for a lot of people it's a coping mechanism.

From what I've seen, if you get to know some perceived assholes better, a lot of times they just have trouble keeping their head above the water in one way or another. I've moved around from shitty house to shitty house a lot the past few years, and got to know a lot of people who've basically become social outcasts, very unlikeable characters. And the sad thing I learned is that unfortunately - for a lot of these people - asshole is the best they can bring themselves to be at that moment. Especially people who've never really been given the love and care they needed before, have lots of trouble giving it despite perhaps desiring to. A part of the brain's functioning that never got to develop properly.

---

Personally, I worry a lot about how I probably often seem like a self-absorbed inconsiderate jerk, myself. Sigh...

I truly want to be kind and nice and respectful to anyone at all times. However, most of the time I'm so completely preoccupied with all the shit that's brewing in my head. All these background processes of trauma and anxiety and depression and so forth are demanding almost all of my available energy, so most of the time I end up pushing people away because I simply can't properly behave or interact with anyone at that moment. Not without saying stupid shit I don't mean, being easily triggered, getting way too upset over nothing, assuming the worst about everything, etc... That's not how I want to be around people, because I know it makes me seem like a terrible person people shouldn't waste their time on; a bad influence and unpleasant company. But I guess, during the past few years and especially right now as I'm going through my transition, that's kind of just the way it is for me...

I just hope I don't step on any tails in the process. Actually, I know I do, but... You know... I wish I could do better. But I'm afraid doing my best right now sometimes still includes being a bitter cynical jerk or lashing out in panic. And I'm really not saying this as an excuse. I care a lot about this and it breaks me every time I mess up.

I really do feel like I'm getting better though. For instance, I'm getting better at understanding the consequences of my actions. I didn't really believe I mattered much at all before, so I would do incredibly irresponsible or hurtful things, completely not understanding that I was actually being a negative problematic influence to my surroundings. Getting lots of love and care and understanding from great friends really pulled me out of the conviction that I couldn't possibly do anything to hurt anyone because I was convinced nobody cared about me more than they felt they were obliged to.

It's just a long process and I'm a really slow learner.

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Sun Jan 07, 2018 9:44 am

Healing and improvement are inherently messy processes. The first step is usually the awareness that we need healing/improvement in the first place - And with that comes the awareness when we are acting in harmful ways when we didn't realize it before. That part really hurts, especially in that stage where you can't do much about it more often than not, but you can still tell you messed up. It really does mean you are making fantastic progress, though, and I can reassure you you won't be in that stage forever. In my experience, the best policy in this phase in particular is honesty and humility. Tell people upfront about where you're at and what's up with your behaviour, and apologize in earnest when you mess up. People tend to be way more forgiving than we give them credit for, especially anyone worth their salt, when you are honest with them. You are being honest with yourself and the people around you, and that's seriously great. Keep that up, it will help you heaps.

Rooting for you that things keep improving, Critter. You deserve it.

Captain Rufus · Post by **Captain Rufus** (?) » Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:59 pm

Angry Critter wrote: ↑
Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:53 am
Hm... I'm not saying it's like this in this particular case, but I think for a lot of people it's a coping mechanism.

From what I've seen, if you get to know some perceived assholes better, a lot of times they just have trouble keeping their head above the water in one way or another. I've moved around from shitty house to shitty house a lot the past few years, and got to know a lot of people who've basically become social outcasts, very unlikeable characters. And the sad thing I learned is that unfortunately - for a lot of these people - asshole is the best they can bring themselves to be at that moment. Especially people who've never really been given the love and care they needed before, have lots of trouble giving it despite perhaps desiring to. A part of the brain's functioning that never got to develop properly.

This is also quite true. And isn't helped by that while people are generally selfish and self interested, most aren't doing it out of actual HATE. Which sadly helps to spread badness because people think the worst.

While omg it came from Ronnie Reagan n his crew, "Trust but verify" does seem like a better way to be. Don't presume folks are dicks but make sure they aren't dicks before doing X.

Expecting bad is dangerous as is thinking things are all sunshine and sprinkles. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Hopefully this makes sense to folks.

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:32 pm

Today didn't start off well. Had some frustrations regarding a gig I got a while ago. Not to mention, I think I made a lot of goof-ups on things throughout the day that one would normally notice, but because of stress/tiredness I didn't until others pointed out.

I might need to take a break more often. I think the past few weeks really stretched my limit.

EDIT: Also, I realize bringing up a PPPP post here is unusual, but I think this post from ToastGhost is something I (and others) should keep in mind:

ToastGhost wrote: ↑
Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:21 pm
Do not overwork yourself, or if you must, carry the staves intelligently or in multiple trips or something. Work smarter, not harder.

Aatxe360 · Post by **Aatxe360** (?) » Fri Jan 12, 2018 3:42 pm

This past week has been stressful at least. All my relatives around are sick to varying degrees and my mother is really ill but I can't stay with her on the other side of Texas(even if I had some sort of transportation; my mother won't let me touch hers) as yesterday a pipe busted on the floor above me and had I not been around, the entire house would have been a disaster zone with the cold snap that came in last night. Think gallons of water covering the entire first floor and most of the second, then freezing over. Even with the dozens of gallons and a good plumber, most of it dried right up except a few spots and had a few ceramic heaters to make sure those spots didn't freeze. The cleanup is going to be something as it set me back cleaning other parts of the house.

And I still have to have it extremely cleaned up and dusted(she has terrible allergies) for my mother coming here for her having to represent someone in court. Yeah, she's something else. She doesn't trust others and fiercely independent. I can only stand to be around her in very small increments of time.

Kronos · Post by **Kronos** (?) » Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:50 pm

So my parents read a book and listened to a podcast...they're now convinced of the Atkins Diet, where you go low-carb by not eating grains and eat all the meat you want and are FORCING me to partake in it.

It's fucking horrible not having bread and this bullshit is widely derided all over the place, so I don't know what in hell got into my folks to think this is at all OK.

Captain Rufus · Post by **Captain Rufus** (?) » Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:48 pm

They are making you do an unhealthy fad diet? Wtf?

theGECK · Post by **theGECK** (?) » Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:36 am

Because it's obviously the right thing to do to lose weight and be healthy! Who cares that it hasn't been talked about in 10 years! It's the dieting secrets THEY don't want you to know! Or at least that's been the reason I've seen anybody force another to do a fad diet.

Kronos · Post by **Kronos** (?) » Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:49 pm

Captain Rufus wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 15, 2018 3:48 pm
They are making you do an unhealthy fad diet? Wtf?

That's what my reaction was!

theGECK wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:36 am
Because it's obviously the right thing to do to lose weight and be healthy! Who cares that it hasn't been talked about in 10 years! It's the dieting secrets THEY don't want you to know! Or at least that's been the reason I've seen anybody force another to do a fad diet.

Actually, that shit has been brought up again thanks to this book:
https://thebigfatsurprise.com/
This, combined with the author appearing on a podcast and apparently some semi-major newspaper I forgot the name of saying it's a great book and highly rated for "science" (US World News I think?), has convinced my parents that you can't have more than two slices of 100% whole wheat bread A DAY. The whole bin of chips we have is now off limits (not like I'm not cheating when I get the chance because FUCK ATKINS telling me that a single chip is going to kill me), the usual two slices of sourdough toast and margarine I used to have for breakfast is now impossible to have, and I've already had eggs for every meal for an entire day.

What gets me is how my dad is now Religiously reading from some book called "The New Atkins" which seems to care more about the fat loss in two weeks than some bullshit over carbs being lethal. I'm fairly certain that if two slices of bread in the morning for several years hasn't killed me by now, it's not EVER going to fucking kill me!

God I can't wait to move out once I get the chance. But I need a job first and, well, there's been some progress on that front but no offers yet.

EDIT: Okay, so, had the parents in a talk and things aren't AS bad as they seem.

They're shooting for a low carb diet (and since I live in the house I'm dragged into it) but they're only using the Atkins nonsense to try and get a jumpstart on it. After two weeks we're going to somewhat go back to regular with pasta and bread and whatnot, so while I still think it's monumentally stupid I have to play ball with this, at least it isn't a permanent thing.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** (?) » Wed Jan 17, 2018 12:21 pm

Kronos wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:49 pm
They're shooting for a low carb diet (and since I live in the house I'm dragged into it) but they're only using the Atkins nonsense to try and get a jumpstart on it. After two weeks we're going to somewhat go back to regular with pasta and bread and whatnot, so while I still think it's monumentally stupid I have to play ball with this, at least it isn't a permanent thing.

Atkins is NEVER a permanent thing, because going your entire life without eating carbs is miserable. It doesn't teach self-control because of its mantra of "eat all the meat and eggs you want!", so as soon as they go off the diet and back to eating carbs, they balloon back up to their former weight. It's simply not an effective long-term way to keep weight off.

PhoolCat · Post by **PhoolCat** (?) » Wed Jan 17, 2018 6:56 pm

low carb diet is good (for some people), atkins is not (for most people).

Kronos · Post by **Kronos** (?) » Wed Jan 17, 2018 7:32 pm

Octavia wrote: ↑
Wed Jan 17, 2018 12:21 pm
Atkins is NEVER a permanent thing, because going your entire life without eating carbs is miserable. It doesn't teach self-control because of its mantra of "eat all the meat and eggs you want!", so as soon as they go off the diet and back to eating carbs, they balloon back up to their former weight. It's simply not an effective long-term way to keep weight off.

I don't even get why my parents are doing this out of the blue - weight isn't a problem but they've got it in their heads that "bad carbs = sugar" or something and the maximum limit is 30 carbs daily.

Like, I can't even have two slices of sourdough toast with margarine in the morning for breakfast! Or chips as a snack! And I work out as well so while I'm not boasting a six pack or anything, I'm not sitting on my ass all day.

It's also rather notable that I told my mom that Atkins was a fad diet and she was somehow surprised to learn it was.