Rainbow Unicorn Sunshine Palace 2: Where bad days go to die.

Good posts, good friends. (General Offtopic)

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Re: Rainbow Unicorn Sunshine Palace 2: Where bad days go to

Post by Frosthawk (?) » Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:29 pm

I got into a nasty car wreck last night, while I was on a date no less. There was a car ahead of me that suddenly had their oil tank blow out somehow, so that guy came to a relatively sudden stop along with the couple of cars behind him, myself included. The guy behind me, however, didn't notice in time and completely smashed into my rear, which made me hit the car in front of me (though not very hard) - a classic clusterfuck sandwich. I don't think my car's totaled and since I'm not at fault the other dude's insurance is covering everything, including a rental, which is good. However, the back of my car is looking pretty bad and it's out of commission for at least a week, which could pose a problem if my company sends me out to Louisiana next week. I just hope everything get's patched up before then.


On the lighter note, I just got this message from my date - "I hope this doesn't completely crash our nights out!" Awww. :flattered:
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Post by rudecyrus (?) » Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:23 pm

I've been having a bad couple of days. I've got a major depressive disorder that rears its head once in a while, and it's hitting me now. On Saturday I had to go to a cousin's graduation party, where they had invited like 80 people, so of course there's loud music, drinking, dancing, everyone having a good time...except me. I don't like crowds. I've hated them since I was a kid. I can't find anyone to talk to, since everyone's busy talking to their other, closer friends. I can't strike up a conversation, because I don't know 90% of the people and I'd feel like an intruder. Can't loosen up by getting drunk because I don't like the taste of alcohol, unless it's some fruity drink with a bunch of stuff to cover up the taste. The longer I was there, the more depressed I got. I just wanted to leave, but I couldn't because my parents were there and we only have one car. So my mother notices me all sad and stuff and says we'll leave after she finishes her drink. Then she says we'll leave after one last dance. Then she keeps dancing and drinking and I start getting angry. Like, I shouldn't, but I feel like I've been lied to. So I go for a walk to calm down (which, I'm told, a number of people noticed, so now I feel like a fucking killjoy). Eventually, we leave, but I'm just irritated and miserable.

I don't know what to do. I play games, but I have no one to play them with, because I have no friends -- I mean, there's you guys, but can you really call people you've never met face-to-face "friends?" I dunno. Don't have a job and I can't get one. I'm a writer, but I can't write when I'm like this. I can't talk to my parents, because they're pissing me off right now. I'm just...sad. And empty.

I'm not sure what else to write, so I'll stop here.
Last edited by rudecyrus on Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Malleus (?) » Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:59 pm

I can relate to that feeling, Rude. Sorry you had such a bad time at that party. :fluttersmith:

You shouldn't feel weird or bad about feeling that way because it isn't your fault and I don't think you did anything to make other people there feel bad or uncomfortable. Also I think you can definitely call people you don't know face-to-face your friends. A lot of great people in my life are only in my life over the internet and that's perfectly fine, friendship is friendship no matter how it comes about. I know it sucks not having anybody to confide in or hang out with in person but we can always try if nothing else, no matter how hard it gets for some of us.

I feel like that a lot because I'm pretty sure I've got some disorder (but who doesn't think that these days) having to do with the fact that I've had really bad mood swings since I was 12 and sometimes they're weak and other days they're really strong and I feel terrible. I don't even know if this thread is the right place to discuss things or anything but I just felt like posting this. I'm sure you know everybody here really well, Rude, and you shouldn't ever value their friendships any less because it's online.
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Post by diribigal (?) » Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:42 am

If either of you have the money/insurance (or your family has money/insurance and would be willing to pay, or you're at a university in the US and have access to it for free), try to find some counseling, etc. (assuming you're not already seeing a Psychologist/Psychiatrist). That goes for pretty much everyone, really; they can improve the lives of almost anyone.

First-world problem: my fan is broken and I have no air-conditioning and it's hot. :bluh:
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Post by Paperback Writer (?) » Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:02 pm

You know what I hate? Insomnia. I've been up all night, the sun is up, and I feel like crap. It's just a minor problem really, but it's so annoying :applejargh:

Part of it is the heat, and part of it is that I had stomach cramps half the night.
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Post by Perrydotto (?) » Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:46 pm

Rude, I can second what has been said. If you feel comfortable with the people you know online, that's just as fine as people in RL. Even though data packages and many many kilometres might seperate you, internet people are still real people, so their words and actions are just as valid and human as any other. I can only write that I pat you on the shoulder, but hey, it still means the same.

I wish you all the best. There's no need to justify how you feel - Crap feelings, no matter how light or how severe, happen. Hang out with your pals, work out, be creative, do something to put your energy into. And if you can't work things out alone, that's also just fine - Try to see a good counsellor or therapist.
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Post by Mechanical Ape (?) » Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:40 am

Rude, I recognized a lot of myself in your post; a lot of those thoughts and experiences could have been written by me at one time or another. I'm pretty strongly introverted (and I'm guessing you are too). Big crowds and lots of noise wear me out mentally. Also I'm not a fan of formalwear and I really, really don't like to dance; this makes weddings (to name one thing) a rather excruciating experience, even with friends. I do enjoy drinking, but booze only gets you so far. :memories:

The thing to remember is that you have absolutely every right at social gatherings to be as happy and comfortable as you want. Taking a minute to break away from the group, go for a stroll by yourself, and recharge your mental and emotional batteries is perfectly normal and a VERY common strategy for introverts. Heading to a quiet corner of the room works too. You needn't feel self-conscious about doing this: it is a party, the goal is enjoyment, and you are enjoying yourself in the way most comfortable to your style. Also the thing about big gatherings is that unless you are wearing a lampshade and dancing atop a table, people are not generally paying attention to you. It's understandable to go to a party with 80 people and expect there to be 80 sets of eyes watching your every move, but that's not really what's happening. Finally, one very important note: on the extremely rare chance where there is someone who sees you doing your own thing, and is for some reason inclined to think less of you for it, fuck 'em. They are wrong.

As for online friends: yes, absolutely, they count. There are people whom I have met and become close friends with online, in some cases going a few years before meeting them IRL. When eventually I did meet them in person, it merely confirmed the friendship that already existed. I have always found that to be the case with my online acquaintances. That said, there really is a certain psychic benefit that you reap from flesh-and-blood, personal, face-to-face human interaction, which you really can't get any other way. That's just how us humans are built. Being among other people -- not even being the center of attention, just being among people -- is good for you, like vitamins for the soul. Don't neglect it.

Finally, nth-ing what others have said about counseling. Talking to a counselor can yield marvelous benefits, and you don't even need to wait until your life is an unbearable mess to do it.
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Post by Isaak (?) » Sat Aug 04, 2012 6:16 pm

So yesterday my parents mailed me that our cat Gizmo had cancer. He was getting older and was eating less but we thought "hey, he's 14, this is normal." She brought him to the vet for a checkup and there they found that his tummy had cancer and it was spread all over.
She told me they would see how he would feel during the weekend and if things would go bad she would take him to the vet on monday, but this morning she told me they put him to sleep this morning as he just couldn't do it any more.

I would've liked to have hugged him and say goodbye before he was gone :fluttersmith:
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Post by Headless Horse (?) » Sat Aug 04, 2012 6:34 pm

As someone living thousands of miles away from a beloved dog who I haven't seen in three years now and can't shake the feeling that I never will again... I feel you, man. :fluttersmith:
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Post by Octavia (?) » Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:45 pm

My dog was put down while I was at summer camp once. I actually called my mom from camp the day he was gonna be put down and she didn't tell me. I found out a week later when my mom picked me up. :fluttersmith:
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Post by ROBOT B9 (?) » Sun Aug 05, 2012 6:52 am

Last night, when I was walking on the beach, a dolphin jumped out of the water and died right before my eyes on the beach. To see its movements just go out... :fluttersmith: I don't know what killed it but the Guardia Civil came 2 minutes later to take it away.
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Post by Super Karoru (?) » Sun Aug 05, 2012 7:05 am

Isaak wrote:I would've liked to have hugged him and say goodbye before he was gone

I think about this sometimes. I haven't moved out of my parents' house yet, but I plan to within the next year or so. My dog is 11 years old now and hopefully has at least 5 years left in him, but I don't want to be in another part of the country when he inevitably passes. So matter where I go, I might end up taking him with me anyway so I can be there when the time comes to say goodbye. :saddash:
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Post by BloodWulfe (?) » Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:01 am

One of the best parts of medium-sized parrots are their lifespans. 20-30 years? Yes please! 'Course, I guess that means it may be even more devastating when he does pass. :fluttersmith: Maybe we should switch gears here. Oh god that dolphin story! :fluttersmith: :gonkity:

Someone abandoned a cat. Literally abandoned: stuck it in a box, closed it up, and placed it behind a business. The only fleeting piece of humanity there is that the person was maybe trying to get an employee to see the box. Well, it's really fleeting because there's an animal shelter in town that will take any animal no questions asked. We're off to a great start here folks!
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At any rate, a friend of mine who works there and found the cat rang me. She can't have cats in her apartment so I said "sure, be right there." Ran the cat to the vet: no tag, no chip, malnourished. :[ Covered all the normal vet stuff (shots et. al.) and took him home.

I already have one stray cat I unintentionally adopted, so I've been trying to adopt this fellow out to a good home. He's super sweet and very domesticated; he obviously came from a home at some point. I thought I'd grab a few pictures since this is a sort of "success" pet story to offset the sadness of losing pets. Pardon the quick shots, he wouldn't stay put and the lighting was poor.

Four links so this isn't a giant post:

Mooching free food. GET A JOB CAT.
Pony-themed picture, since, y'know, ponygoons forum.
The closest thing to a good picture I was able to get just now. You can tell he's a cat, and that's basically it.
Checkin' out the place. Not pictured: cat kicking my sheet music everywhere
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Post by dilettante (?) » Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:27 am

Sorry to hear about all you dudes' pet stories. I think I love pets more than I love people, and losing a pet is one of those things that hurts so much. I cried for over an hour when I heard my family friend's dog died (and I was 8). I fucking loved that dog, man.

My dog's 15 years old now. I kinda dread seeing him go, but I know it's soon. He still acts like a puppy and bounces around when food's available, but all the signs are there. Arthritis, hearing loss, longer periods of sleeping, and fatty deposits everywhere. I'm worried, but at least I know he had a nice life, even though he might not know that. His previous owner died, and I have no idea how traumatized he was because of that.

The other day someone also put up a lost pet sign by my house. It said their pet Chihuahua had just run away. They'd just adopted it, and it was young. The sign ended with "Please help. Dog won't survive long." :fluttersmith:
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Post by DarkMatter (?) » Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:10 pm

I'm sorry for your loss, Isaak. :saddash:

My dog, Tiffany, of nearly 14 years passed away suddenly back in October. It was out of nowhere. The whole day she had been acting normal and then, that evening, she suddenly collapsed and wouldn't get up. We're still not sure what happened but signs point to it being a stroke. It was easily the worst night of my life and I don't think I've ever cried so hard. Her loss weighed just as heavily on my family as any human death would. I'm just thankful that we were home when it happened so she didn't have to die alone. :fluttersmith:
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Post by Xavier Genisi (?) » Wed Aug 08, 2012 12:17 am

I'm in a bad mood from today, and was pretty shaken from what happened.

I was at work, me and the other guy I was working with were heading to an ann arbor carpet cleaning job via the interstate highway in one of the company trucks. Had to pass by some construction, where it was one lane while the other part was being worked on.

We're going the speed limit, and doing everything just fine, when out of damn nowhere, this cement truck's chute ends up over the traffic lane. Too late to do anything when it happened, except get hit. The top of the truck smashed into the chute, probobly fucking it up pretty bad, and spraying cement over our truck. It also made a hell of a dent and cracked part of the truck.

Got a picture of the crack here: https://twitter.com/Genisi/status/232840649966227457/photo/1

Other construction workers agreed that the guy running the cement truck was at fault. The state trooper who stopped to file an accident report agreed that the guy was at fault. The regional manager at the company he works at who came by to examine the accident agreed that the guy was at fault.

That thing was like, far over the traffic lane too. If that were lower when we hit it, or if we were in something like a semi truck when we hit it, we could kiss our asses goodbye. Not even fucking kidding.

Had to stop by at the shop to clean the cement off and switch trucks (the lights at the top front of the box stopped working properly because of the collision), and while we continued the rest of the day with that huge carpet cleaning job, both of us were pretty shaken from that accident.
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Post by Pinkemon (?) » Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:44 am

Sometimes while I'm in my bed, before I go to sleep, I tend to think about all sorts of stuff.
This time I realised that I don't remember my grandpa's face anymore. He died quite a long time ago, and we weren't even THAT close, yet I couldn't help but feel really sad about this. :fluttersmith: I dunno if there's any pictures of us either, so I may never remember his face again. Its stuff like this that make me realise I maybe should've spent more time with him before he passed away.
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Post by pksage (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:36 am

Today I tried to bring up some constructive criticism to my wife -- who, as mentioned in my previous post in this thread, has really bad anxiety and self-esteem issues. I tried to be as delicate as possible, but felt like a giant robot with spiky mauls for hands as she broke down and cried. :fluttersmith: We talked it out and stuff, of course, but I clearly put a huge crack in her already degraded self-esteem. I feel like an asshole, as I almost always do in these situations. :gonkity:

The best part is that neither of us has a job that offers good insurance at the moment, so counseling for her (the thing that would help the most!) is prohibitively expensive. Blugh.
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Post by Azran (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 5:43 am

I spent some time with my girlfriend today; we've been together for five years. Just recently, her father has been suffering of a heart condition and is due to be operated soon. Thing is the guy just won't take care of his health - keeps smoking and eating things the doctor said he shouldn't.
Since he's obviously frustrated by the situation, the best way for him to feel better is just to vent his frustration on top of her wife, my girlfriend and her sister. Nothing physical; he just complains a lot and calls them fat, obnoxious or useless. Plus their dog barks a lot, so they are all constantly on their nerves.

It's coming to the point where my girlfriend just plains consider whether she would feel better if he were to die during the operation.
Being there is just so depressing; everyone is tired and tries their best to be nice to me.

I just can't do much else except being there for her and asking her out so she can enjoy a stress-free environment.
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Post by Smoke (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 7:37 am

Well, might as well post it here too, since I already did so on IRC.
I'm currently in the psych ward of a hospital, had a massive mental breakdown thursday evening over at my friends' place. My friends took me to a doctor friday morning where it was decided that I be taken in rightaway for my own safety. Dunno how long I'll be here, but I've got some form of internet access(and my laptop) and I'll get regular visits from family, friends and people who know me. Treatment will begin on monday, most likely with antidepressants and therapy.

Brief background to mental breakdown: I've suffered from depressions from quite some time now, and lately they've been paired with suicidal tendencies. Along with that I have very low self-esteem and a bad self-image, not to mention that five years ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers(Which I hate to tell people about because of the prejudice surrounding it). Never acted on the suicidal tendencies, but felt I couldn't hold it back much longer(I already had started thinking of the best methods, stopping myself at the very last moment right before taking any action or when there was still room to correct said action without anyone noticing) so I told my friends and they've helped me with everything so far. Not too many people know about it, and I don't plan on spreading the news all over the world.

Sometimes I'm glad for this small amount of anonymity the internet still offers, and this seems to be the best place to at least start getting it off my chest.
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Post by Octavia (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 7:44 am

Get well soon, Smoke. I know firsthand how crippling depression can be and I also know firsthand that it is something that can be broken out of. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.
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Post by Smoke (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 8:46 am

Just being able to hang out here and in IRC seems to slightly help. Treatment is already beginning with lots of talks and stuff. Medication will most likely be decided on monday.

For the moment I'm going through an emotional rollercoaster.

As a sidenote: I might be here for a few weeks, and my birthday is in two weeks(On the 24th). My friends seem to already be arranging some kind of thing so I'll be out for that day.

And I'm still worried about telling them about ponies. They kind of disapprove of me playing videogames and having a big Transformers collection already. They did find out about the toys I got for myself, but I tried to sweep that under the rug as "They're for my niece, I bought a bunch so I could give them to her slowly."
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Post by pksage (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:16 pm

Oh man, Smoke, I'm glad you're okay. As Octavia said, we're all here if you need anything. If you're ever really down about anything, especially if you get suicidal thoughts again, don't hesitate to talk to ponygoons on IRC about it.
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Post by Smoke (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:38 pm

Well, right now there is some light at the end of the tunnel. It's all a matter of time and arranging stuff. But one of the big stress factors will be gone completely, thankfully. I'd like to keep this stuff mostly to IRC though, especially the details. It just helps to write it down.
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Post by Shavnir (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:48 pm

Yesterday was a bit of a rollercoaster for me.

I got to see the Protomen live with my girlfriend. Always a blast, always a great time. Got to chat with them a bit ago. I've been watching them play for 6 years and its always neat when they recognize me after all this time.

Then my girlfriend dumped me. I guess I can add "Its just not working out" to my cliche'd breakup lines bingo card.

The best part? I leave in about 15 minutes for back home where I know every friend and family member I know will ask me how things are with her :gonkity:
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Post by dilettante (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 8:47 pm

Sorry to hear about all you dudes feeling pretty bad. I know I don't know you guys at all (and I haven't even ventured over to IRC yet), but I wish you all the best. Depression and anxiety are some of the worst feelings ever since sufferers feel so isolated. And while it may not feel like there's anyone there, there is. The internet can kind of prove that too. For anyone here who's feeling down, definitely do not hesitate to contact me. I love to talk and I'm told I'm a good listener/sponge for emotions. Good luck, everyone. Especially you, Smoke, since starting up on medication after being admitted to a facility is a rollercoaster in and of itself. Be sure to be communicative with those taking care of you, and don't be afraid to hold back.

Hmm...I guess myself then. I had a weird emotional rollercoaster myself last night. I was at a music festival seeing this band I really like, but all around me were these really intense couples making out, grinding, and doing anything to show the world "oh hey we're really in love. did you know that?" While that might not be their intent, that's how I feel about it. When a guy in front of me is grinding so hardcore with his girl that he disturbs the personal space of those around him, there's a problem. We're packed like sardines in this crowd, and being right next to the guy who's only thinking about him and his girl is pretty gross and uncomfortable.

But it also makes me feel sick about love. Like, I know how nice love can be, and how good it can be to be in a relationship, but all the PDA, drama, and unrequited emotions has made me feel pretty loveless. That I don't think I can or will fall in love again. And that love is stupid. I can't shake this thought out of my head, no matter how false it may sound. My mind is just telling me, "you'll never fall in love again, so you might as well hate it." And every time it's said, I believe it a little more.
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Post by Paperback Writer (?) » Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:14 pm

That's your brain trying to go into a spiral of negative thinking, which will lead to an attack of depression. Don't listen to it, mister. :glare:

Serioustalk: you shouldn't give up on yourself like that. I know exactly how you feel and I've been there myself, many, many times. But remember this: love isn't something you have, it's something you experience, and judging yourself as successful or not by having a partner is playing a losing game in which the house will always win. If you have someone, you can't believe they love you; if you're alone, you feel doomed to solitude for all eternity.

Don't judge yourself so harshly. It's not a bad thing to be self-aware; self-awareness is a useful mental tool that keeps us from doing stupid things like drooling all over ourselves at dinner or managing to set General Mills' grass on fire with burning Cheerios. :-I But one of the curses of depression and low self-esteem is that overriding feeling of failure and worthlessness. If you're not a murdering, life-ruining monster like Ted Bundy, then you inherently have some value as a person. You are not a worthless failure, you don't deserve to be alone, and things will be OK.

Relax. Do some deep breathing. Look at some cute animal pictures... hell, you're here, look at some pony art on the 'booru. Remember that, no matter how much it may hurt at the moment, everything passes in time, including the bad times.
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Post by londonarbuckle (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 12:08 am

Get well soon, Smoke. As someone who maybe possibly has Asperger's (or high-functioning autism or something) I get where you're coming from with regards to that. I always tell myself that I don't have it, but I think the stigma against it has just made me afraid to face it. (Or maybe I don't actually have it. I don't know.)

Hey my throat's been hurting for like three days and I can barely speak, I hope I don't have strep. This sucks either way. :ohrarity:
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Post by MetalSonic (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 2:57 pm

I have just a minor thing I am afraid of. Well, I am in the progress of moving to another city to study on an university there. My problem is that I don´t even know where to live by now. Every dorm has a waiting list up to 3 to 6 months and my time at the university will begin in September.

On the other hand, I´d rather live in a shared flat with some persons, so that I do not have to live alone. But still, looks like I have to live alone in a small flat until I get a place at a dorm.
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Post by Crow (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:20 pm

Get better soon Smoke, we all hope for your speedy recovery! :jingo:
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Post by Aramek (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 6:18 pm

Shavnir wrote:Then my girlfriend dumped me.

If it makes you feel any better, take it from a guy who has been dumped a loooot; it gets easier every time it happens. :v: *hug*
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Post by brakeless (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 6:47 pm

Aramek wrote:If it makes you feel any better, take it from a guy who has been dumped a loooot; it gets easier every time it happens. :v: *hug*


Haha, yeah. Hell, for me getting dumped a lot would be an improvement, but no matter. You just got to keep on trying if you want a girl (or guy) to be a part of your life.
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Post by DarkMatter (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:00 pm

Take care, Smoke. Just know your Ponygoon friends are here for you! :-P
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Post by Paperback Writer (?) » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:31 pm

Yeah, if you need someone to talk to, Smoke, you can always hit me up via PM if you like.
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Post by Smoke (?) » Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:32 am

Thanks for all the support so far everyone. Just more proof that this is a great community.

At the moment I'm still waiting for more details and talks and stuff, the weekend was mainly just for me to relax a bit more and get settled in here. Main issue I'm having at the moment is the terrible boredom, and the fact that I decided to quit smoking last weekend so there's withdrawal symptoms from that as well(But apparently I'm doing great with that)
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Post by Smoke (?) » Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:33 pm

Updates continue: Had a talk with a psychologist today, and we're gonna have a few more in the days that follow. Basically taking it step by step. I have no idea yet for how long I will be here or if I'm gonna get any medication.

Current prescription: Rest. Lots of rest.
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Post by naahdude (?) » Wed Aug 15, 2012 1:28 am

Got my wisdom teeth removed recently and now I have dry socket. Fuck. It. Hurts. Ow.
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Post by Smoke (?) » Wed Aug 15, 2012 3:41 pm

Well, this is even more fun...
Last night my laptop's harddrive decided to crash on me. Couldn't boot from it anymore despite multiple attempts. Initial diagnosis: Hardware failure.
So I asked my dad and my best friend to bring me my Time Machine drive, OS X Leopard install disk and my laptop's old 80GB harddrive. They could only find the OS X install disk unfortunately, and are going to look for the Time Machine drive asap.

So now I've just finished reinstalling Leopard, I'm downloading Chrome and the entire 770MB OS X Leopard combo update so I can reinstall Lion, then I'll have to reinstall Lion, and by then I can recover using the Time Machine.

On the plus side, they did bring me my 1.5TB "NAS"(USB drive hooked up to Airport Extreme) which is full of media. And my Time Machine backup is recent and should be pretty complete.
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Post by Smoke (?) » Wed Aug 15, 2012 8:23 pm

Scratch that, drive is completely dead from what I can tell. It made some creepy sounds, OS froze, and refused to reboot. Using my install USB stick I made while reinstalling I found out Disk Utility couldn't repair it, and formatting for another reinstall also failed. 80GB drive has been found though and will get here tomorrow. It'll be too small to restore my backup to, so when I get out I'll also have to buy a new drive...
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Post by Headless Horse (?) » Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:31 am

Sorry to hear that, Smoke. Dead drives are one of those things that'll really drag a day down.

I've got some background in the subject if you find yourself up a creek; feel free to PM.
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