Toddler life is the thug life

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:46 am

Formerly "Thread in which I post things my 4-yo daughter asks me to pretend to be". Let's see if I can make this a daily thread

Pretend to be the loneliest crow in the whole world and he didn't have any family or friends or toys

Gloomy Rube · Post by **Gloomy Rube** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 2:57 am

That sounds lonely

PhoolCat · Post by **PhoolCat** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:16 am

[sad cawing]

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:13 am

You be Epona just chilling out in ghost territory and then she gets turned into a ghost

PhoolCat · Post by **PhoolCat** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:25 am

Gloomy Rube · Post by **Gloomy Rube** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:27 pm

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:04 pm

Pretend to be a magical parrot guarding this cage that has a baby inside of it

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:13 pm

A dog that wants to marry Mrs. Pig but can't because he's not a prince

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Thu Dec 21, 2017 7:21 pm

I'm pretty sure Miss Piggy is still dating Kermit anyway.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:37 pm

Harry Potter's dad Harry Henry who does not like his son

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Mon Dec 25, 2017 1:02 pm

A cow fighter that hates all the cows in the world. He's a soldier who wants to defeat ALL the cows

Weird Autumn · Post by **Weird Autumn** (?) » Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:23 pm

I had a girl who was precious to me but a cow took her away, you see
Now I fight cows not for money, but for love (and that ain't funny, yo)
And here's why: I will avenge my lady with my life
Or until I die in a fight against the dairy-making army of the night
This rhyme tells the story of the...

Cow Fighter, toughest man farms have seen!
Cow Fighter, with his wavy blond hair flowing so freely!

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Dec 26, 2017 1:04 pm

Tara under a towel in which a hair dryer is blowing wrote:I'm as warm as a pocket dog

I think the term she was thinking of is "hot dog" but I wasn't gonna correct her

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:42 pm

You be the girl sleeping in her ancient crib on her cash register pillow and then a big boss came and grabbed her crib up and stole it

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:14 am

This is how I feel you can usually tell TV writers don't have imagination/kids themselves - When they show children playing with their toys and the stories the kids come up with are super boring.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:44 am

You should see the OC she designed in this other thread

Me: Why is his face dirty?
T: He got pudding all over he's face
Me: And on his ears?
T: That's strawberry jam

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:17 am

Tara wrote:Everyone take turns pretending to be Rainbow Dash that's a boy

Rainbow Dash that's a boy wrote: HeyYyyYy you DuDeS

Weird Autumn · Post by **Weird Autumn** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:36 am

your daughter has a promising career in fanfiction ahead of her

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:41 am

That one sentence is miles better than most fanfics out there

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 2:15 pm

I was explaining new year's diets and her response was

Tara wrote:Why don't they eat friggin' zucchini???

Vivianinatoga · Post by **Vivianinatoga** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:15 pm

What if we ate friggin' zucchini, but we did it every day?

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 5:26 pm

There was an entire storyline about that on "FoxTrot" where the mother plants zucchini, not realizing how fast they grow. The family wasn't happy about it.

I can speak that this is true from experience. We even got a zucchini plant the following year, apparently because there was a seed or two we missed when cleaning up.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:20 pm

Tara wrote:I'm a superhero that has all the powers of a normal clam

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:52 pm

Tara's voice from inside a closed bathroom wrote:Uh oh, I'm having a boss battle

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Fri Jan 12, 2018 1:31 am

She has discovered sonnets

Tara wrote: I love you more than monkeys like to eat bananas
I love you more than waterfalls like to splash on me and you
I love you more than clocks like to tell us the time
I love you more than Malcolm likes to hurt people
I love you more than curtains like to swoosh and stay still
I love you more than tigers like to eat meat
I love you more than doors like to open and shut
I love you more than deers like to hop in the springtime making us laugh

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Jan 16, 2018 11:10 pm

After drawing butterfly wings on the letter "N"

Tara wrote:I made a butter-letter

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:27 pm

Tara wrote:Do only bad people play bad videogames?

Yes

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:35 pm

I feel very judged.

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:03 pm

"Perry is very bad" - Durandal's daughter

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:29 pm

Tara wrote: You're the perfect size for my collection

What collection?

Tara wrote: Uh....my human collection

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:35 am

Congrats, you are raising a future Batman villain.

Adiwan · Post by **Adiwan** (?) » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:22 am

Are friends not just a collection of humans? A collection of humans you want to surround with?

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:42 am

Tara wrote: Let me smell your eye
*sniff*
OK, it smells like you have enough courage

Mr. Big · Post by **Mr. Big** (?) » Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:30 am

So bigger the eyes, the bigger the courage?

diribigal · Post by **diribigal** (?) » Wed Jan 24, 2018 5:51 am

Mr. Big wrote: ↑
Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:30 am
So bigger the eyes, the bigger the courage?

Is eye size correlated with certain smells?

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Thu Jan 25, 2018 8:47 pm

You can't stop spinning in this next spinning contest or else you'll get locked in the spinning contest jail

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Tue Feb 06, 2018 3:48 pm

Tara, playing with her stencils wrote: And then, the dragon turned into a wonderful screw shark

She meant "narwhal"

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** (?) » Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:14 am

Me wrote: I took away your belt because you were whipping people with it

Tara wrote: Well if I hit ME would you take away MYSELF???

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:29 am

Checkmate, dad

Kronos · Post by **Kronos** (?) » Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:37 am

The combination of child's imagination and the emotes are top notch.