Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do the Edmonton Oilers and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
They both look good until they hit the ice.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When an escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods it was a clear case of criminal in tent.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the lamb run off the road?
He didn’t see the ewe turn.
He didn’t see the ewe turn.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is electricity so dangerous?
Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself properly.
Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself properly.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?
Because the bottle said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
Because the bottle said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake.
Because it was marble cake.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:33 amIf you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I started a business breeding chickens, but I'm struggling to make hens meet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the alien say to the gas pump?
Take your finger out of your nose while I speak to you.
Take your finger out of your nose while I speak to you.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the cowboy say to the pencil?
Draw, partner.
Draw, partner.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the pizza say when it went out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
I never sausage a beautiful face.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
It's OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a turkey.
They both want a turkey.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?
They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I just saw an Apple store get robbed... does that make me an iWitness?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you do with a chemist's plants?
You barium.
You barium.
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
I tried to make another chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
(I am a chemist, you see)
(I am a chemist, you see)
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Do you want to hear a joke about Potassium?
K.
K.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PhoolCat
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- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
New age music.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The animal hairstylist at the zoo has become a mane attraction.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear that Mr. Goodbar and a York Peppermint Patty were married?
They had a baby, Ruth.
They had a baby, Ruth.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full.
Because it was full.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call Iron Man without his suit?
Stark naked.
Stark naked.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug fest.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the poker player say to the deck of cards?
I can't deal with you anymore.
I can't deal with you anymore.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Some say I eat so much fruit that I must be going bananas, while others think I'm already plum crazy. I respond to those people by giving them the raspberry.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?
In a hockey game, the fights are real.
In a hockey game, the fights are real.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")