Horse Laughs

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PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Apr 23, 2019 8:23 am

Image I thought it was going to be cold so I plugged my electric blanket in beside my toaster. I kept popping out of bed all night.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Apr 24, 2019 8:27 am

Image Why are circus clowns often stressed?

Image Because their job is in tents.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Apr 25, 2019 9:16 am

Image I arrived at a hotel, and said I was there for the Twitter conference. Concierge said “Follow me."
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Apr 26, 2019 8:08 am

Image I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:41 am

:unenthused: I can tell I’m having a bad day when even my Rice Krispies won’t talk to me.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:17 am

Image A friend got chased into a haunted blinds shop, but we saved him from curtain death.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:18 am

Image I some flies playing soccer in a saucer earlier. They hope to be in the cup next week.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:56 pm

:good:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:08 am

Image I had dinner once with a Chess Grand Master in a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 01, 2019 8:12 am

Image A friend of mine keeps getting emails offering him cans of chopped ham and pork. I’ve told him that it’s just spam.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 02, 2019 8:03 am

Image Not so sure why everyone goes on about genetically modified food. I had a lovely leg of salmon the other day.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Thu May 02, 2019 5:17 pm

Just so you know I repost a fair deal of these jokes on facebook so they're greatly appreciated by me and many others. :good:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 02, 2019 7:19 pm

Oh, nice :allears:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 03, 2019 8:53 am

Image Why did the newspaper reporter talk to the ice cream?

Image He was looking for a big scoop.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 04, 2019 8:27 am

Image I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159, then it CLIX.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 05, 2019 8:07 am

Image When I was a student, I was worried that my parents would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 06, 2019 8:34 am

Image I like all sorts of puzzles, like jigsaws and crosswords, but dot to dots are where I draw the line.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 07, 2019 8:41 am

Image I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 08, 2019 8:53 am

:ponder: I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn’t been made up yet.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 09, 2019 8:33 am

Image Why did the ants dance on the jam jar lid?

Image It said twist to open.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 10, 2019 8:06 am

Image An actor friend got a part in a version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but it wasn’t the one he wanted. He wasn’t happy.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Fri May 10, 2019 8:58 am

:good: :hilarious:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 11, 2019 8:36 am

Image I saw a sign in a window, “Flat screen TV for sale, only $20. Broken volume control”. I couldn’t turn it down.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 12, 2019 9:02 am

Image Standing on the edge of the lake, someone shouted across “How do I get to the other side?”

:maud: “You are on the other side.” I replied.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 13, 2019 8:09 am

Image I almost dropped a bowl of Alpha-Ghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 14, 2019 8:05 am

:unenthused: A friend won “Dentist of the year”. All she got was a little plaque.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 15, 2019 8:21 am

Image Where do sharks go for their summer holidays?

Image Finland.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 16, 2019 8:22 am

Image I was arguing with a friend in a pizza restaurant the other night when another friend came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 17, 2019 7:56 am

Image I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 18, 2019 8:48 am

Image I’m using my printer to put jokes on the labels of boullion cubes. It’s become a laughing stock.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 19, 2019 8:20 am

Image Superman inherited his X-ray ability from his family. He has parental super vision.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 20, 2019 8:59 am

Image My company is better at making sunblock cream than our competitors, but I don’t like to rub it in.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 21, 2019 7:25 am

Image What kind of dog has the most coins?

Image A bloodhound, they are always picking up cents.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 22, 2019 8:36 am

Image Dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Nothing to worry about, though, it’s under Ctrl.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 23, 2019 8:13 am

Image I'm very good friends with the other members of my time travelling club. We go back years.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 24, 2019 7:18 am

Image Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 25, 2019 7:46 am

Image For sale: Watch with half a face. For a limited time only.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 26, 2019 8:24 am

Image My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Sun May 26, 2019 9:56 am

My girlfriend is into electric currents. I couldn't resistor. :allears:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 27, 2019 8:30 am

Image If we got rid of all the margarine and spreads, the world would be a butter place.
Image ("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")

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