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Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:48 am
by PonyHag714
What do the Edmonton Oilers and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:40 am
by PonyHag714
When an escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods it was a clear case of criminal in tent.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2018 8:37 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the lamb run off the road?
He didn’t see the ewe turn.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 8:27 am
by PonyHag714
Why is electricity so dangerous?
Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself properly.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:24 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?
Because the bottle said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2018 2:10 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:33 am
by PonyHag714
If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 8:27 am
by PonyHag714
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 12:33 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:24 pm
by Mechanical Ape
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:33 am
If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:18 am
by PonyHag714
I started a business breeding chickens, but I'm struggling to make hens meet.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:47 am
by PonyHag714
What did the alien say to the gas pump?
Take your finger out of your nose while I speak to you.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 8:30 am
by PonyHag714
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 8:30 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 8:30 am
by PonyHag714
What did the cowboy say to the pencil?
Draw, partner.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 8:05 am
by PonyHag714
What did the pizza say when it went out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 2:54 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 8:03 am
by PonyHag714
It's OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 3:20 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 8:28 am
by PonyHag714
What do a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a turkey.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:10 am
by PonyHag714
Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?
They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:00 am
by PonyHag714
I just saw an Apple store get robbed... does that make me an iWitness?
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:34 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:13 pm
by ToastGhost
What do you do with a chemist's plants?
You barium.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:14 pm
by ToastGhost
I tried to make another chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
(I am a chemist, you see)
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:16 am
by PonyHag714
Do you want to hear a joke about Potassium?
K.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:37 am
by PhoolCat
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:45 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2018 8:44 am
by PonyHag714
What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 8:41 am
by PonyHag714
The animal hairstylist at the zoo has become a mane attraction.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 8:26 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear that Mr. Goodbar and a York Peppermint Patty were married?
They had a baby, Ruth.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:41 am
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:22 am
by PonyHag714
Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 7:46 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call Iron Man without his suit?
Stark naked.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 8:31 am
by PonyHag714
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug fest.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 8:05 am
by PonyHag714
What did the poker player say to the deck of cards?
I can't deal with you anymore.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:44 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 1:03 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:05 am
by PonyHag714
Some say I eat so much fruit that I must be going bananas, while others think I'm already plum crazy. I respond to those people by giving them the raspberry.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:16 am
by PonyHag714
What's the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?
In a hockey game, the fights are real.