Horse Laughs

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PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Apr 23, 2019 8:23 am

Image I thought it was going to be cold so I plugged my electric blanket in beside my toaster. I kept popping out of bed all night.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Apr 24, 2019 8:27 am

Image Why are circus clowns often stressed?

Image Because their job is in tents.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Apr 25, 2019 9:16 am

Image I arrived at a hotel, and said I was there for the Twitter conference. Concierge said “Follow me."
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Apr 26, 2019 8:08 am

Image I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:41 am

:unenthused: I can tell I’m having a bad day when even my Rice Krispies won’t talk to me.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:17 am

Image A friend got chased into a haunted blinds shop, but we saved him from curtain death.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:18 am

Image I some flies playing soccer in a saucer earlier. They hope to be in the cup next week.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:56 pm

:good:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:08 am

Image I had dinner once with a Chess Grand Master in a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 01, 2019 8:12 am

Image A friend of mine keeps getting emails offering him cans of chopped ham and pork. I’ve told him that it’s just spam.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 02, 2019 8:03 am

Image Not so sure why everyone goes on about genetically modified food. I had a lovely leg of salmon the other day.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Thu May 02, 2019 5:17 pm

Just so you know I repost a fair deal of these jokes on facebook so they're greatly appreciated by me and many others. :good:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 02, 2019 7:19 pm

Oh, nice :allears:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 03, 2019 8:53 am

Image Why did the newspaper reporter talk to the ice cream?

Image He was looking for a big scoop.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 04, 2019 8:27 am

Image I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159, then it CLIX.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 05, 2019 8:07 am

Image When I was a student, I was worried that my parents would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 06, 2019 8:34 am

Image I like all sorts of puzzles, like jigsaws and crosswords, but dot to dots are where I draw the line.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 07, 2019 8:41 am

Image I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 08, 2019 8:53 am

:ponder: I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn’t been made up yet.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 09, 2019 8:33 am

Image Why did the ants dance on the jam jar lid?

Image It said twist to open.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 10, 2019 8:06 am

Image An actor friend got a part in a version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but it wasn’t the one he wanted. He wasn’t happy.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Fri May 10, 2019 8:58 am

:good: :hilarious:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 11, 2019 8:36 am

Image I saw a sign in a window, “Flat screen TV for sale, only $20. Broken volume control”. I couldn’t turn it down.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 12, 2019 9:02 am

Image Standing on the edge of the lake, someone shouted across “How do I get to the other side?”

:maud: “You are on the other side.” I replied.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 13, 2019 8:09 am

Image I almost dropped a bowl of Alpha-Ghetti. That could have spelled disaster.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 14, 2019 8:05 am

:unenthused: A friend won “Dentist of the year”. All she got was a little plaque.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 15, 2019 8:21 am

Image Where do sharks go for their summer holidays?

Image Finland.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 16, 2019 8:22 am

Image I was arguing with a friend in a pizza restaurant the other night when another friend came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 17, 2019 7:56 am

Image I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 18, 2019 8:48 am

Image I’m using my printer to put jokes on the labels of boullion cubes. It’s become a laughing stock.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 19, 2019 8:20 am

Image Superman inherited his X-ray ability from his family. He has parental super vision.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 20, 2019 8:59 am

Image My company is better at making sunblock cream than our competitors, but I don’t like to rub it in.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue May 21, 2019 7:25 am

Image What kind of dog has the most coins?

Image A bloodhound, they are always picking up cents.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed May 22, 2019 8:36 am

Image Dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Nothing to worry about, though, it’s under Ctrl.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu May 23, 2019 8:13 am

Image I'm very good friends with the other members of my time travelling club. We go back years.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri May 24, 2019 7:18 am

Image Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat May 25, 2019 7:46 am

Image For sale: Watch with half a face. For a limited time only.
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun May 26, 2019 8:24 am

Image My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Sun May 26, 2019 9:56 am

My girlfriend is into electric currents. I couldn't resistor. :allears:
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Re: Horse Laughs

Post by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon May 27, 2019 8:30 am

Image If we got rid of all the margarine and spreads, the world would be a butter place.
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