Your Fanfic's Bad & You Should Feel Bad Or Maybe It's Smelly

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

Sometimes you submit a pony fanfic and the lesbian undertones are thick enough to choke a horse. Shit happens.

Here is a chronicle of fanfics that were rejected for whatever reason. ...Except that my bookkeeping was shitty and countless many rejections were lost to the mists. Oh well, gotta start somewhere.

A Better Boulder - Shipping.
Airborne - human in Equestria, violence
An Infinite Number Of Pinkies - Slow, and way too long for how slow it is.
Celestia and Luna Eat a Hot Pepper - Luna doesn't understand bathrooms and that should be enough for you.
Cheer On - Neither prereader liked it very much. Assorted small things just added up.
Contraptionalogy - Twijack is an awful ship IMO.
Corn on the Cob - Memey, one-note, not particularly funny, poorly edited, Cadence is a loser (this is me making this about my personal opinion on the central character even though I already had two other people reject it for the previous reasons anyway)
Dash's Secret - With this subject matter anything but perfection is a tragedy.
Fallout: Equestria - Patrolling Old Mares' Tales almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter. (violence, based on Fallout which is the least-approvable IP possible, doesn't end with "war never changes")
Fallout: Equestria: Project Horizons - Every new bit I learn about this story just adds more and more crimes to the list. I could make a fucking topic just on the nearly infinite problems this story has. For this topic, though, I'm going with having a poorly-written psyker in a Fallout fanfic. Also endless rape.
Friendship is Mercenaries - Bad Random humor.
Friendship is Optimal - "it's like The Matrix, with horse butts" - Geomancing (has VR horse sex)
It's a Dangerous Business, Going Out Your Door - Several instances of shipping and sexualized content.
Pirates for a Day - Shipping.
The Apple Family - Lesbian gags!
The Cutie Mark Crusade - "bland" is literally all I could get out of Chunky.
Hostile Takeover - So much shipping you'd think it were a merchant fleet. Also other bad things.
Mines of Dragon Mountain - Sequel to Time Lords and Terror, a rejected fic. (and it has its own deaths going on)
Maternal Instinct - Dark, violent content
My Little Alicorn -
My Little Dashie - Creepy premise, takes way too damn long to get to the point, depicts NASCAR as a positive.
My Little Western - Violence
Night Guards - A few little things and then a really big thing I am uncomfortable typing added up.
Past Sins - No Past Sins Clause
Petriculture - Overexplains a gag, makes a character's backstory needlessly sad and convoluted, absurd premise.
Rarity & Pinkie Pie In: The Road to Ponyville - No one liked it at all. I sent it to three people even.
Swayback Mountain - Shipping, smelly.
Time Lords and Terror - Death and Shipping
The Cosby Show: Pudding is Magic - Yarma and Chunky would rage like children if i didn't; also purple monkey dishwasher humor.
The Opener of Ways - Meh quality, bad "ponies learn about bronies" gag just killed it.
The Rainbow Face Up - Sex jokes, mediocre.
The Purloined Pony - Torture scene, otherwise generated little excitement.
Scootaloo Drops Her Ice Cream - A satire of fics we don't have here that cannot stand on its own two feet.
The Star in Yellow - Several RD is a lesbian gags.
Trixie's Revenge - Poor writing.
Twilight's Guilty Little Pleasure - Completely wrong medium. Sets up a naughty situation to subvert it (I hate that shit).
Two & Two & Two - Repetitive, not that great, overexplains a sightgag from an episode. I don't like it.
What if? - What if this fanfic didn't use the word plot in reference to a pony's behind for no goddamn reason?
Whom The Princesses Would Destroy... - had a few things against the rules (the tautological rejection reason)
Wingmares - Where did this sensual massage come from? Where is it going? Why did it have dialogue that wouldn't be out of place in porn? Why am I making this rejection reason rhetorical questions? Will there ever be a fanfic below this one alphabetically to make all these lines seem wasteful and distracting?

[quantumKitty]

You didnt save a copy of any of the terrible fics I've rejected OFSheep? So many gems tossed off the side of a mountain never to be refound (hopefully.)

[jqnexx]

Was My Little Western rejected or did it just fall through the cracks? I wondered when I sent the PM in if it would end up being judged "too violent" or not. In the end I felt that it did not cross the "grimdark line" and hit "send".

[Redeye]

FWIW I actually liked Growing Up a real hell of a lot, but it's not postable under our rules.

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

Was My Little Western rejected or did it just fall through the cracks? I wondered when I sent the PM in if it would end up being judged "too violent" or not. In the end I felt that it did not cross the "grimdark line" and hit "send".

I forget who I sent it to but they said it was too violent.

[Mic Roe PonyComin' to ya loud and proud from the basement of Canterlot Castle! You're listening to 17.95, WKPQ!]

Personally I really like My Little Dashie. Yeah the premise comes off a bit...creepy and self-insertish, but if you give it a little time you eventually get over it. As for taking too long to get to the point, it was deliberately slow paced so that you formed a connection with the characters, thus increasing the emotional impact it has on the reader. I'm not the only one who had a good cry over that one. Still though, I suppose I can see why it might be rejected. It's not like I can't still enjoy it outside of the forum anyway.

[Kraps]

If the only obstacle to liking creepy stuff was "getting over it" there would be no point in having this entire forum. You have to draw a line somewhere and decide that there is no acceptance of things that go over that line. The consensus of the prereaders (and the forum at large) is that My Little Dashie crosses that line.

[Mic Roe PonyComin' to ya loud and proud from the basement of Canterlot Castle! You're listening to 17.95, WKPQ!]

Well, I suppose you're right, lord knows /mlp/ is a constant reminder of that. But I don't know, I found the story to be relatively harmless as far as "creepiness" goes. Yeah, the beginning is a tiny bit unnerving and a bit cheesy, but it eventually reveals this sort of charm, y'know? It's just such a touching story. Kinda like a Hallmark movie except not unbearably bland.

...

And with

[Yarma]

http://www.mlponies.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1242

Just read this bro you will be better off that way. MLD is something that gets all the pony fans because for whatever reason it is more well known that other sad fanfics. I assume it's because it has all those fancy pictures of a dude hugging rainbow dash. Regardless we have some quality fiction for you here.

[dilettanteI have a goat for a face. Like, not that I have a goat's head for a face, or that my head is a goat's head. My face is an entire goat.]

Yeah, I read MLD, and it was sad. But it was sad for its general storyline that's meant to tug at your heartstrings. It's well-written, to an extent, but you can take the plot and put it in a less creepy setting, like the story Yarma linked to. It's the feeling of "I created a bond with something, and now it has to go." Which is totally why I cried at the end of Toy Story 3, but well, now I'm getting off-topic.

[Mic Roe PonyComin' to ya loud and proud from the basement of Canterlot Castle! You're listening to 17.95, WKPQ!]

True, but in MLD what's being let go is actually on the same level of sentience as a human, and can express it's opinion on the situation. When neither party wants to let go, it's made all the more sad, and not many stories like this have that element. Sure Buzz, Woody, and the gang are sentient, and that scene did admittedly make me tear up a bit, they can't actually talk to Andy; they can't tell him how great it's been all these years. I mean, I understand why, but it's a lost opportunity. To see a situation where this actually can happen (A fairly well written one at that) really means something to me.

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

You're probably not going to make an argument that will change my mind, to be honest.

[weedgoku]

OFS This topic reminds me that I submitted a fanfic about a month ago to you via PM, called Pink and Famous. Was that rejected or do the submissions just normally take over a month to go through the process?

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

OFS This topic reminds me that I submitted a fanfic about a month ago to you via PM, called Pink and Famous. Was that rejected or do the submissions just normally take over a month to go through the process?

It fell through the cracks. Sorry about that.

[Kraps]

Was that rejected or do the submissions just normally take over a month to go through the process?

Yes, we frequently are overcome by the incredibly heavy workload, all of our departments (receiving, distributing, stacking, and filing) are very understaffed and this may cause delays in processing your submission. We have put in requisitions for more staff and/or increasing the OMT budget but so far these requests have not been granted. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.

[Mic Roe PonyComin' to ya loud and proud from the basement of Canterlot Castle! You're listening to 17.95, WKPQ!]

You're probably not going to make an argument that will change my mind, to be honest.

Ah, no worries. I wasn't really trying to, I was just trying to explain why I liked it.

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

increasing the OMT budget

Good God I'd love to get any money for doing this shit.

[Kraps]

Good God I'd love to get any money for doing this shit.

Sorry to hear about the collapse of that bitcoin website. You should really diversify more ie use more sites.

[TailspinQueen of the skies]

While were on the subject, I sent in a story called Wingmares at the end of last month. Was it rejected or just missed?

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

While were on the subject, I sent in a story called Wingmares at the end of last month. Was it rejected or just missed?

No, Fallout: New Vegas happened.

It seems I have completely forgot to acutally do something with a fanfic.

Good god I am the wrong person to have in charge of this.

[Mic Roe PonyComin' to ya loud and proud from the basement of Canterlot Castle! You're listening to 17.95, WKPQ!]

No, Fallout: New Vegas happened.

I guess you were so focused on that Lone Star that your thoughts actually weren't still of Texas or of home, eh? I know what you mean man, until just a few weeks ago Skyrim had me under it's spell big time.

[Dal]

I think im just going to stop reading fanfics. A couple of the stories I thought were pretty decent are on this list and now im worried I may be turning into that which I despise

[Aurora]

It's okay, I liked the Doctor Whooves one I had to reject for grimdark. I need to get around to reading the second one.

[Mic Roe PonyComin' to ya loud and proud from the basement of Canterlot Castle! You're listening to 17.95, WKPQ!]

Yeah, don't feel bad Dal. I like My Little Dashie, and that one is apparently a bit infamous around here. There are always gonig to be some things that you like that others don't. It's just a fact of life.

[TailspinQueen of the skies]

I woudln't worry too much about it, Dal. A story can be good and still get rejected if it breaks the rules, there's nothing wrong if you like it.

[AlliterativeAxolotlHonorary Cutie Mark Crusader]

Has someone thought of adding some sort of Fanfic-Corner for bronibooru or The Round Stable, where only worksafe and approved fanfictions can be found, especially the ones already posted in Old Mares' Tales, and nobody except the same people who already approve them can actually upload them to make sure that no-one posts thousands of pages of terrible stuff without approval of the mods?
Now I know that bronibooru is mostly for pictures, but some kind of sub-page of mlponies would be nice and really add to this feeling of having a safe haven for all kinds of fans who just want to read a normal, good story about MLP.

I always thought it's strange that ponygoons has managed to create this super-awesome safe corner for the fandom here where people can get the news about the show, discuss about almost everything and look at thousands of great pictures without being afraid of being creeped out by the scarier parts of the fandom, and yet when someone wants to read the fanfics posted here one has to go to a third site where all kinds of ohgodwhatsthat-stuff can be found if what I've read in some threads is true

I know that some really good fanfictions might have hundreds of pages or even more and that might be a problem for the server, which surely is already quite stressed by the forums and bronibooru, but still - wouldn't it be great to have all the good things the fandom has to offer in one place?

[numsOic]

What's the advantage of hosting a bunch of text files on Cosmo's server instead of having an index to them, i.e. this very subforum?

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

What's the advantage of hosting a bunch of text files on Cosmo's server instead of having an index to them, i.e. this very subforum?

Cosmo isn't very likely to use shipping banners. That's all I can guess.

[AlliterativeAxolotlHonorary Cutie Mark Crusader]

What's the advantage of hosting a bunch of text files on Cosmo's server instead of having an index to them, i.e. this very subforum?

Dunno, I just think it feels more complete if ponygoons has all the quality stuff combined in one place, you know? If it wouldn't melt down the servers I would even say that we get all the good music and fan videos on the homepage

No, I think it's just that, apart from some Youtube channels (which I found thanks to recommendations in this forum) and tumblrs (same) I try to stay as far away from other fansites (EQD for example) as possible, mostly because I don't want to see the bad stuff. Call me elitist or a wimp, but that's just how I feel.

preview-edit: Oh yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about! Thanks Debt I mean Orange Fluffy Sheep sorry

[Orange Fluffy Sheep]

Thanks Debt

All of the sudden, knowing that people will stop calling me Orange Fluffy Sheep and start calling me Oh no! DEBT BOMB has made this name change a lot less fun. Now I gotta wait for Locher to make an orange sheep-based cartoon.

[AlliterativeAxolotlHonorary Cutie Mark Crusader]

All of the sudden, knowing that people will stop calling me Orange Fluffy Sheep and start calling me Oh no! DEBT BOMB has made this name change a lot less fun. Now I gotta wait for Locher to make an orange sheep-based cartoon.

Already repaired the damage Ah well I think this discussion belongs into the Dear Princess Celestia forums, to be honest, but thanks so far.

[numsOic]

Cosmo isn't very likely to use shipping banners. That's all I can guess.

Or, you could adblock all banner image files or something.

[Yolostar]

Or use the batpony one cause it owns.

hint: fimfiction will remember what banner you select if you scroll through to the one you want.

[Glaed]

Celestia and filly Twilight one is pretty good too.

[Dal]

I disagree with the rejection of Celestia and Luna Eat a Hot Pepper, and apologize if the pre readers really did dislike it.

[Contra Calculus]

My Little Dashie - Creepy premise, takes way too damn long to get to the point, depicts NASCAR as a positive.

This should be a clause similar to the past sins one.

[weedgoku]

Why is that even a clause though? I mean I agree with it not being allowed because of the grimdark rule, but were the prereaders all like "I just don't like it because it's Past Sins"?

[Daionus The 23rd:3]

From what I've heard, the number of reasons Past Sins is terrible are too numerous to list, the most harmless of which is that it's overrated.

[weedgoku]

Sure, but people say Fallout Equestria is the worst thing ever and then surprise surprise everyone who's actually read it debunks a whoooole lot of hysteria. So what are the reasons

[RagnarThe fact that there is quite definitely nothing at all out there, yet it is visiting anyway, is of some distress to those who care about such things.]

From memory? Needlessly melodramatic. Weak characterization. Weak dialogue. The prose is readable but clumsy. It's not utter trash, but it's kind of badly written in general.
I did manage to read it all. I can't say the same for Fallout: Equestria, which has much better prose but suffers from the mortal flaw of being Fallout Equestria.