The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wonders

CorvusCaw · Post by **CorvusCaw** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:16 am

Yeah, I changed my profile gender thing about a week ago and it feels pretty good. I mean, I can remember having had gender issues (mainly sadness that I wasn't born female) since I was 12 or so, through high school and all up through today... but always holding back on saying anything about it for various reasons. I mean I was in a mental hospital when I was 10 and was worried that saying something 'crazy' like that would get me sent back (and it was the 90s so it might have). I physically/mentally punished myself for thinking that way because it was "wrong"... and other stupid shit. even after talking to a handful of people I trusted about it back in August, I had still convinced myself to not discuss it in the open because I thought there would be negative feedback here or repercussions elsewhere... but I just don't care about any of that shit anymore and pretty much everybody here had found out before now anyway (because nothing like this ever stays a secret more than a couple days) so yeah... no big deal right?

hey look, a balloon

Mir · Post by **Mir** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:23 am

I noticed, but I just kinda figured I missed something, or maybe you hadn't wanted to make a big deal out of it.
All the same, more power to you, Corpy.

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:35 am

I'm so happy for you, Corpy.

You keep going down a great road and it's brave and awesome. You're great, lady.

BeautifulShy · Post by **BeautifulShy** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:51 am

I am glad you am coming to terms with it now Corpy. It can be hard to keep things on the internet secret unless you are good at it.

This is a great website for those just starting out to transition. http://www.tsroadmap.com/start/timetable.html

Factory Factory · Post by **Factory Factory** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:04 am

Three cheers and hugs for Corpy. Hip-hip, *hug*!

Kiith Soban · Post by **Kiith Soban** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:20 am

Corpy wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:16 am
so yeah... no big deal right?

Right. Congratulations!

I like that balloon. That's a nice balloon.

ROBOT B9 · Post by **ROBOT B9** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:23 am

Way to go, Corpy! I hope you're happy no matter what!

Princess Flufflebutt · Post by **Princess Flufflebutt** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 10:34 am

I did in fact notice. I'm creepy observant like that.

Anyways, I wish you all the best!

BackgroundPony · Post by **BackgroundPony** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 10:57 am

No more playing the pronoun game with you, hooray! Congrats. I'm glad you're comfortable enough with us and with all of this to be able to take this step.

Fontra · Post by **Fontra** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:11 am

Heh, I actually figured it out a while back but congrats on the change in your profile, Erika.

ABitS · Post by **ABitS** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:20 am

Congratulations, I'm glad that you're opening up about it and I hope that not hiding your gender identity helps you feel better

also I knew a couple of months back and I am terrible at pretending not to know things so I'm glad I don't have to worry about that anymore

Ninetails · Post by **Ninetails** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:23 am

Congrats, Corpy!

In other news, I've decided to shave my armpits. Except I'm in class so I can't do it right now. I have never felt so intensely aware of my armpit hair before oh dear goddess get it off me

(?) · Post by **Momo** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:39 am

I look forward to messing up your pronouns like I do with everyone.

ShieldedDiamond · Post by **ShieldedDiamond** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:43 am

Congratulations Corpy!

Fontra · Post by **Fontra** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:00 pm

I know this is probably going to seem like a silly post, but I've noticed a lot of people I regularly hang out with or do things with online, even outside this board, are trans or have recently come out as trans.

I mean, this isn't really intentional on my part at all, but I kind of wonder about what this says about me. Like, it's not really a fear I have, but I do wonder if someday I'm going to want to identify as a woman. But at the same time wondering that for me is silly since I'm about as male as you can get in terms of presentation and identification and I've never had a problem with that.

I do, however, find I enjoy a lot of... well... "girly" stuff from a distance. By this, I mean I secretly watched a lot of 80s and 90s cartoons meant for girls, but I sure as hell wasn't about to admit it to anyone. When I was first introduced to Friendship is Magic, I also had that same kind of joyous feeling I felt when watching those same 80s and 90s cartoons normally marketed to girls. As a kid, I'd also regularly roleplayed as Samus Aran when my friends (we all roleplayed our favorite characters during recess when we were in elementary school

). But I've never actually felt like or identified as a woman. Ive always identified as a man and I've been fine with that.

I do find the idea of male-born folks exploring their gender identities fascinating. That's partly the reason I follow this thread. Like I don't want to do it myself, but I do like reading about it. Same thing with sexuality. Most I ever experimented with my sexuality was look at lots of pictures of naked dudes before realizing I didn't really find the naked male body the least bit attractive in any way to me. But seeing other people discussing exploring that side fascinates me for some reason.

Just eh I don't know. I'm rambling nonsense now.

Aurora · Post by **Aurora** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:08 pm

Just pretend you're Leon and we're all infected with the T-virus. The T stands for Trans.

Fontra · Post by **Fontra** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:17 pm

But that means you'd be trying to eat me and I'd have to shoot you.

Aurora · Post by **Aurora** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:18 pm

ALLI ESTA

Fontra · Post by **Fontra** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:19 pm

That's Las Plagas virus, you goofball.

Aurora · Post by **Aurora** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:21 pm

The zombies in the first 3 games don't say anything.

West Filly · Post by **West Filly** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:26 pm

Just because you're in the (virtual) trans ghetto doesn't mean you're a trans person. Don't worry, it's not a member's only club, just a place where we're accepted and where we have a lot of presence.

As delightful as a trans outbreak would be, I don't think gender identity is that contagious. One thing we might be able to spread, though, is a little awareness. Awareness creates more safe spaces for trans people, bringing more out of the woodworks, and expanding the boundaries of this "ghetto".

Edit: I need to find a better word than ghetto to mean "place where the minority people are at"

Aramek · Post by **Aramek** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:32 pm

Fontra wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:19 pm
That's Las Plagas virus, you goofball.

Also, Leon was exposed to both the general T-Virus outbreak and the G-Virus monster when the doctor injected himself.

BackgroundPony · Post by **BackgroundPony** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:38 pm

Nerds!

Ahem. Yeah, nothing wrong with being fascinated with various sexual minorities in a vacuum, as long as it doesn't lead to dehumanizing the actual individual people involved. Not that I see you doing that. Sometimes you just find a concept interesting, without it being something you actually feel like taking part in. That's okay! Everyone is different. Diversity, hooray!

CorvusCaw · Post by **CorvusCaw** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:45 pm

Aramek wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:32 pm
Also, Leon was exposed to both the general T-Virus outbreak and the G-Virus monster when the doctor injected himself.

G-Virus sounds like something Google is going to create and unleash on the world. Wouldn't put it past them.

ABitS wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:20 am
also I knew a couple of months back and I am terrible at pretending not to know things so I'm glad I don't have to worry about that anymore

don't worry, other people are worse, which is probably how you knew

[quote="In post_id=53599 time=1390843594 user_id=130]
Edit: I need to find a better word than ghetto to mean "place where the minority people are at"[/quote]In spite of the word's unfortunate history, there really isn't one.

Aramek · Post by **Aramek** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:02 pm

Corpy wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:45 pm
G-Virus sounds like something Google is going to create and unleash on the world. Wouldn't put it past them.

Well, the G-Virus was waaaay better than the T-Virus, so, yeah, bring it on, Google. We deserve it.

Princess Flufflebutt · Post by **Princess Flufflebutt** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:03 pm

They named it Google Plus

BeautifulShy · Post by **BeautifulShy** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:06 pm

I just changed my gender marker as well. I did mention a few weeks back that I have been dealing with this for about half my life but didn't deal with it for various reasons. Those reasons were many.I was in various placements for my epileptic problems and I was in a few group homes as well and all of of them were on the boys side so me coming out and saying hey I have gender problems as well as my brain problems as well as going through middle school when I was 14 and 15 and trying to mainstream into regular classes. It was probably too much for myself and the staff on hand and everyone else around so I just waited. The other one was how I would be treated in the group homes if I did mention it. I do remember even without this cropping up what happened to me at various group homes. violence and trauma trigger

I would hate to imagine what it would be like in the 90's what it would be like if I came forward with my problems then.How much worse it could have possibly been.

I am changing my marker now because even though I don't always look it at the moment in my presentation some of the time I feel it inside and emotionally as well for most things. If I were to discribe myself I would say I am a kind,compassionate lady who cares about helping others. Sometimes I put everyone else above me and I sometimes don't go after what I want. I do get a little irritated at times when things don't go as well as they could go but most of the time I am great and even-keeled.

ROBOT B9 · Post by **ROBOT B9** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:08 pm

Wow...that is a very sad story, Knuckleshy. I guess it makes it your change all the more poignant. Congratulations.

Perpetual Motion · Post by **Perpetual Motion** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:40 pm

I've been wondering similar things. This is a community where reality is reversed and being trans is almost like being in the "in crowd." It. Ames me wonder if my gender feelings are real at all, or just some gambit to feel like I fit in, because otherwise I'm just a Cisgendered-Straight-Male-WASP with a white collar job earned through nepotism, i.e. the most privalage and entitled of all groups known to man.

How do you know if you're just making it up to feel better about yourself?

BeautifulShy · Post by **BeautifulShy** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:11 pm

If that is towards me I will answer it. I don't think people would make things up to feel better about them self because that would betray the kindness and welcoming hands that everyone has here and it would be too disheartening for everyone here.

For me though I know its always been there. It has just been buried under my mom trying to be my dad and all these other " male role models" as well that I was suppose to look up to. It can be very hard growing up in a single parent with a older sister that is more of a tom boy and her being the extroverted one while I am the introverted one. In a way you could say I was like Fluttershy growing up and a little bit now still am in pieces.

Perpetual Motion · Post by **Perpetual Motion** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:16 pm

I was more responding to Fontra's post. I actually hadn't even noticed yours. Sorry if I made it seem like I was implying things about you. I'm mostly just worried that I'm convincing myself of things that aren't true just to feel welcome and supported.

BeautifulShy · Post by **BeautifulShy** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:25 pm

Ah my mistake. Take your time and work through things when you can and you should come to a solution one way or another. Whatever comes of it you will be welcomed and supported.

(?) · Post by **Fizzbuzz** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:35 pm

Funny, I've gotten that "am I gonna become trans too??

" feeling before, but it's just one of those silly intrusive thoughts. If it seems like a lot of people are coming out, it's because our shared kindness is giving them the confidence to overcome years of societal oppression. We should all be proud of this community we've created.

(?) · Post by **Momo** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:45 pm

[quote="Perpetual post_id=53607 time=1390848056 user_id=77]How do you know if you're just making it up to feel better about yourself?[/quote]
I don't know about you, but my gender identity frequently makes me feel worse about myself, and I know it's severely complicated my life in immeasurable ways. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. But the "Am I just making this up?" question is a very, very important one to ask yourself. If your gender identity can't stand up to scrutiny, it's probably a manifestation of something else. I've known people who have mistakenly changed their gender identity as a projection of low self-esteem; namely, you're not satisfied with yourself as a person, so you invent a new identity in order to reinvent yourself and/or pick a nebulous problem on which to blame your failures. And believe me, figuring out you're not trans is a lot more devastating after you've taken an irreversible amount of hormones, spent thousands of dollars to permanently remove hair, filed legally-binding documents to various government agencies to change your identification, alienated non-accepting friends and family and sabotaged your education and/or career.

Blind faith in your identity is bad. Living in a criticism-and-scrutiny-free bubble is bad. Zero self-reflection is bad. Absence of doubt or worry is bad. These sorts of questions are supposed to haunt you, because the answers are incredibly important.

As for the "am I gonna become trans too" question, it's important to remember that no transperson these days subscribes to the concept of binary gender. You can like girly things and still be a cis male. There's such a thing as putting too much value on 'feminine' behavioural modes, especially among cis males.

(?) · Post by **Venusy** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:53 pm

This is to no one in particular, but I am going to say that hanging out with open-minded people that are discovering themselves is a good way to help develop an open mind. And one of the things that comes with an open mind is the ability to question the self.

I had body image issues. Until one morning, I woke up, and I didn't see my body as a failure at being male anymore. I saw it as a near success at being a lovely mix of both. I'm still unsure what this means in terms of expression (hence why I still don't feel comfortable switching to genderqueer here), but I really do like looking down and seeing that I have breasts, even if I have to push them together a little.

InC · Post by **InC** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:46 pm

Congratulations to Corpy and Knuckleshy!

This is to no one in particular either. MLP's core message is that there are many ways to be a girl, and the show is mostly known for having a large male audience despite being ostensibly girly. It shouldn't be surprising that it would attract and resonate with a lot of trans women who haven't completely figured out their gender identity yet (as well as many cis women and cis men with a girly side), and a place as aware of gender issues and as supportive as this forum is a natural catalyst to make that realization happen. The amount of people coming out after joining this forum is simply a testament to the importance of awareness and safe environments more than anything else.

Perpetual, it's important not to pigeonhole oneself and your doubts are very much worth exploring, but you fit in here for many more reasons than your gender identity and I'm sure you know that. I know impostor syndrome all too well, but no matter what you end up finding, coming to terms with your identity is just as much worth celebrating regardless of whether said identity turns out to be straight cis male or anything else.

Highbrow Dash · Post by **Highbrow Dash** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:46 pm

Fontra wrote: ↑
Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:00 pm
I know this is probably going to seem like a silly post, but I've noticed a lot of people I regularly hang out with or do things with online, even outside this board, are trans or have recently come out as trans.

I mean, this isn't really intentional on my part at all, but I kind of wonder about what this says about me. Like, it's not really a fear I have, but I do wonder if someday I'm going to want to identify as a woman. But at the same time wondering that for me is silly since I'm about as male as you can get in terms of presentation and identification and I've never had a problem with that.

I do, however, find I enjoy a lot of... well... "girly" stuff from a distance. By this, I mean I secretly watched a lot of 80s and 90s cartoons meant for girls, but I sure as hell wasn't about to admit it to anyone. When I was first introduced to Friendship is Magic, I also had that same kind of joyous feeling I felt when watching those same 80s and 90s cartoons normally marketed to girls. As a kid, I'd also regularly roleplayed as Samus Aran when my friends (we all roleplayed our favorite characters during recess when we were in elementary school ). But I've never actually felt like or identified as a woman. Ive always identified as a man and I've been fine with that.

I do find the idea of male-born folks exploring their gender identities fascinating. That's partly the reason I follow this thread. Like I don't want to do it myself, but I do like reading about it. Same thing with sexuality. Most I ever experimented with my sexuality was look at lots of pictures of naked dudes before realizing I didn't really find the naked male body the least bit attractive in any way to me. But seeing other people discussing exploring that side fascinates me for some reason.

Just eh I don't know. I'm rambling nonsense now.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think transgenderism has anything to do with gender roles and your likes/dislikes. If you're fine with your plumbing and you don't have gender dysphoria, there's your answer. A bunch of dumb, arbitrary gender roles don't get to tell you who you are

Congrats, Corpy and Knuckleshy

(?) · Post by **Perrydotto** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:51 pm

Indeed. By a similiar token, my gender expression is very masculine, I roleplay as male characters frequently and I enjoy a lot of pop culture stuff intended for men. I'm still happy about my gender and my body, though, and that's fine. I can enjoy my identity and my expression in the way I want. These things are never black and white. Basically what feels right is right.

Ninetails · Post by **Ninetails** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:10 pm

Yeah, for me, it wasn't liking girly things that made me realize I'm trans, since I still love guns and swords and giant robots and explosions; it was wishing every night that I could be female that tipped me off.

Also wanting a pair of boobs to squish together and make weird noises at. Do other women do that?

EDIT: Oh, just wanted to mention a webcomic I'm reading - Supernormal Step. I figured I'd mention it here, because even though it's largely about a crazy fantasy world and the protagonist's many problems, it actually features characters with different sexualities!

(She's asexual)

(?) · Post by **Fizzbuzz** (?) » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:17 pm

[quote="Highbrow post_id=53615 time=1390869981 user_id=114]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think transgenderism has anything to do with gender roles and your likes/dislikes. If you're fine with your plumbing and you don't have gender dysphoria, there's your answer. A bunch of dumb, arbitrary gender roles don't get to tell you who you are

[/quote]
That's how I've always seen it. Even though I've always identified as a man, I also have found most stereotypically manly things to be anywhere from distasteful to stupid to outright offensive. At the same time, I've never felt like I should've been born female or raised as a girl or anything, so I'm still happy with who I am now.