Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
During a science lesson, my sister-in-law picked up a magnet and
said to her second-grade class, “My name begins with the letter M, and
I pick things up. What am I?”
A little boy answered, “You’re a mommy.”
A little boy answered, “You’re a mommy.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The doctor game me some pills to improve my memory.
So what happened?
I forgot to take them.
So what happened?
I forgot to take them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do you keep your cello in the freezer?
I like to play it cool.
I like to play it cool.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Octavia
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Re: Horse Laughs
Cello is the sexiest instrument because it has both a G-String and an F-HolePonyHag714 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 17, 2018 8:19 amWhy do you keep your cello in the freezer?
I like to play it cool.
- Octavia
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Re: Horse Laughs
I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up, the giant marshmallow I had been saving was gone!
- PhoolCat
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The police are looking for a pony with one eye named Bernie.
What's the other eye called?
What's the other eye called?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:40 amThe police are looking for a pony with one eye named Bernie.
What's the other eye called?
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
We can't keep a horse in here...think of the smell!
Don't worry...she'll get used to it.
Don't worry...she'll get used to it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Which travels faster, heat or cold?
Heat, because it's easy to catch cold.
Heat, because it's easy to catch cold.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
Can't argue with that logic.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is this letter damp?
Postage due.
Postage due.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Look here, I object to performing right after the monkey act.
You're right, they might think it's an encore.
You're right, they might think it's an encore.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Robert Burns wrote "To A Field Mouse".
I'll bet he didn't get an answer.
I'll bet he didn't get an answer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I thought of an ice pun a minute ago, but it slipped my mind.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
Relatable.PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:37 amI got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
You told me not to use tables.
You told me not to use tables.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the atom who lost an electron?
He really needs to keep an ion them.
He really needs to keep an ion them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Octavia
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Re: Horse Laughs
At least he has a positive outlook on lifePonyHag714 wrote: ↑Sat Jan 27, 2018 8:23 amDid you hear about the atom who lost an electron?
He really needs to keep an ion them.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a stupid pirate?
The pillage idiot!
The pillage idiot!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the locomotive reluctant to sit down?
It had a tender behind.
It had a tender behind.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:36 amWhy was the locomotive reluctant to sit down?
It had a tender behind.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, "What's you favorite kind of music?" The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does a man on a moon get his haircut?
Eclipse it!
Eclipse it!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the M&M go to college?
Because he wanted to be a Smartie!
Because he wanted to be a Smartie!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- Daikatuna
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Next time, take off the candles.
Next time, take off the candles.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Two cheese trucks ran into each other. De brie was everywhere.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When are your eyes not eyes?
When the winter wind makes them water.
When the winter wind makes them water.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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Re: Horse Laughs
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:25 amTwo cheese trucks ran into each other. De brie was everywhere.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you cure a headache?
Put your head through a window and the pane will disappear.
Put your head through a window and the pane will disappear.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the cook spill his soup?
Because there was a leek in the pot.
Because there was a leek in the pot.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket.
You rocket.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")