The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wonders

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The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wonders

Post by Octavia (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:46 pm

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Welcome to the gender and sexual minorities thread! :party:

The main intent of this thread is to be a resource for people who are coming out, dealing with their sexuality and/or gender, or who are otherwise unsure and in need of help. Everyone is welcome here, regardless of their gender or sexuality. You are free to ask questions and share stories here without being judged. As long as you are respectful, you will be treated with respect in kind. Please keep in mind that we are still a forum for a children's television show, so try to keep everything PG-13 rated. If you'd like to get more in-depth about the nitty-gritty details (AKA "buttchat") then join us on our IRC channel, which is located in the resources section below.

If you'd like me to add a link to the resources section or a definition to the glossary, let me know and I'll add it to the OP.

RESOURCES:

The Round Stable GSM IRC Channel: #quiltbag on irc.synirc.net

GLSEN: Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network. Group that works with educators, policy-makers, community leaders, and students to address and stamp out anti-GLBT behavior. They have chapters all over the USA and the website is loaded with research and resources for GSM youth.

PFLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays. A support community made up of parents of LGBT people and straight allies. They have chapters all over the USA as well as a lot of literature for helping the parents of GSMs understand what their children are going through. This is an excellent resource for planning how to come out to your family.

We Happy Trans: A place where trans people from all different locations and background to share stories of positive experiences.

The Round Stable GSM Thread I: Check out the old thread for some inspiring stories!

GLOSSARY:

Asexual: Someone who lacks sexual attraction to others and has an absent-to-low interest in sexual activity. This does not necessarily mean they find sex disgusting, nor does it mean they are aromantic, meaning they can never have a romantic attraction towards someone else. There are many asexuals that are perfectly happy in long-term, sexless relationships.

Bisexual: Someone who is sexually attracted to both males and females. Yes, bisexual men do actually exist. It's not just "a road to gaytown." And no, bisexual women aren't just doing it for the attention. Bisexuals are also not insatiable sex hounds. There are plenty of bisexuals that are completely happy in long-term, monogamous relationships.

Cisgender: Opposite of transgender. Someone whose self-perception of their gender matches the gender they were assigned at birth. The vast majority of people in the world are cisgender.

Gay: Usually described as a male who is sexually attracted to other males, but there are many lesbians who identify as gay as well. Contrary to X-Box Live and most of the internet, the word "gay" is not the equivalent of the word "stupid" and therefore should not be used in the pejorative.

Genderqueer: Someone outside the gender binary, meaning they do not identify as strictly male or strictly female. They can either identify as both a man and a woman (bigender), neither a man nor a woman (genderless), someone that moves between genders (genderfluid), or a third gender, which includes those who don't place a name to their gender.

Intersex: Someone who has a variation in sex characteristics, through chromosomes or genitals, that do not allow them to be classified as distinctly male or female. This is not the same thing as a hermaphrodite. There is no such thing as a hermaphroditic human. They are a physiologic impossibility.

Lesbian: A female who is attracted to other females. And no, they're not just around to be gawked at by straight men.

Pansexual: Someone who is sexually attracted to people of all gender identities, whether male, female, or genderqueer.

Polyamory: Having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. As opposed to monogamy, which is the practice of having only one partner at a time.

Queer: A catch-all term for people that are not heterosexual and/or don't follow the gender binary.

QUILTBAG: An anagram for Queer/Questioning, Unknown/Unsure, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans, Bisexual, Asexual/Allies, Gay/Genderqueer. Used as a slightly more accurate and inclusive version of GLBT. The term Gender and Sexual Minorities, although not as popular, is an alternative catch-all term to QUILTBAG.

Transgender: Opposite of cisgender. Someone whose self-identified gender does not match the gender they were assigned at birth. A transman identifies as a man, despite not being assigned the male gender at birth. A transwoman identifies as a woman, despite not being assigned the female gender at birth. It does not matter what genitals they have, a transman should always be identified as a man and a transwoman should always be identified as a woman. Terms like "tranny", "he-she" or "it" are offensive and should never be used when identifying transgendered people.
Last edited by Octavia on Fri Apr 05, 2013 9:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Luneshot

Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Luneshot » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:47 pm

Hey you reading this: go back and read all 171 pages of the last thread. I mean it. :squintyjack:

(but seriously, it was time we got a new one. :allears: )
Last edited by Luneshot on Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:50 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Pineapple » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:48 pm

come on irc we don't bite but we do talk about butts

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by londonarbuckle (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:50 pm

Hey you reading this: go back and read all 171 pages of the last thread. I mean it. :squintyjack:
Sup, everybody, I'm london aka Felicia. I thought I was a gay dude when the last thread started. How YOU doing? :party:

Demeh

Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Demeh » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:52 pm

I'm just a straight bloke but I want to post here to get that star thingy in front of this topic so I don't miss a lot of posts because it's an interesting topic :twonk:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Pineapple » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:52 pm

Felicia is a pretty name :vogue:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by BackgroundPony (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:52 pm

There is just nothing like that new GSM thread smell. Smells like victory. :yay:

Hey, why not add a link to the old thread in the OP? It'll be forever gem mined anyway, right?

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Doctor Wheeze (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:54 pm

The last thread was really meaningful to me personally, because it just being there finally got me to officially identify as asexual after years of hemming and hawing. Thanks Octavia :allears:
......:hatte:
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Snowfire (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:56 pm

Guess I'll say why I keep coming to this thread too (besides it being awesome) :allears: .

I'm Snowfire (or Tom, if you wanna use my real name). Cis male. I have been trying to find why I haven't been able to have a relationship with anyone, well, ever. I may be asexual, since I have never had a strong sexual attraction to men or women, but I am honestly not sure yet. Kind of playing it by ear at this point.
Last edited by Snowfire on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Octavia (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:57 pm

I'm really hoping the new thread will encourage new people to start posting here, since it's not the intimidating behemoth it once was. :allears:



As for myself, I am a cisgendered male and I consider myself pansexual, since gender is pretty low on my list of priorities when seeking a partner. However, it's usually easier for me to identify as gay, since I'm currently in a relationship with another man. We've been together for 3.5 years now and we've been living together for 2.5 of those years. I'm sort of a late bloomer compared to many people. I didn't even start questioning my sexuality until I was 17 or 18, and I didn't come out to my family and friends until I was 23.

I'd be happy to answer any questions anyone might have! :milkshake:
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Luneshot

Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Luneshot » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:59 pm

Hi people from ~the future~: The previous thread owns because it helped me discover that I'm gay, and I feel so much better about it- we can only hope that this thread will do the same for someone else.

Also, maybe we should have a list of people who are willing to be a resource/someone to talk to about GSM stuff, if people are questioning/unsure/just curious. I'll put my name down- I can be contacted through PMs or Skype or IRC or Steam or whatever.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Momo (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:03 pm

Ground flooring this one too :chillin:

I'm genderqueer, which means different things to different people, and is pretty nebulous to me a lot of the time. I've been through the wringer and back again; I was also an exec with my univerisy's GSA, and a sex ed counsellor for six years, so feel free to ask me anything if the thread is too intimidating (which it shouldn't be!)

Now I'm going out for my first manicure and a night of general fabulosity :allears:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Pineapple » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:05 pm

I'm Piney, I'm a cisgendered woman, sex-positive feminist, and a lesbian. I'm always happy to answer questions asked in good faith. :horse:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Cthulhu Inc (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:07 pm

Oi! Je suis une bourgeoisie mademoiselle, aber ich dachte dass ich ein Mann war, sed diende ille treadum legebam, 所以我现在知道我是个女人, en ik spreek vijf miljard talen! (but ic an þis escheate)

Translation:
Hi! I am a lady, though I used to think I was a man, but then I read the thread, and now I know I am female, and I speak five billion languages! (but I cheated on this.)
Last edited by Cthulhu Inc on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Fizzbuzz (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:08 pm

Is this where we pay our respects to the old thread? While I am a piece of cis scum who doesn't fit into any of the minority groups that this thread covers, I still come here partly because I hate bigotry and partly because I'm always encouraged by the stories and accounts of people who discover and stand up for themselves even in the face of hate. Seriously, all of you who get discriminated against just because of who you are, and yet persevere, are awesome. Even if I might not know your same experiences, I still hope I can be a friend.
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by West Filly (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:08 pm

Hey I'm WestFilly - Pansexual, part time trans woman, living in the UK. (Weird how Londonarbucle is American and West Filly is British?) I'm on IRC most of the time, or I'll be here, if people have questions.

Also, some links to my story in the old thread.

Still a guy, the story of my questions of sexuality.

Earliest questions of gender on the thread, I wasn't very educated at the time

How it all happened.
👉👉🥜🏠

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Factory Factory (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:10 pm

What up. I'm a cisgendered manly man who enjoys man things like cute cartoon ponies, also a feminist, and bisexual. I'm always happy to write a huge fucking essay on the thinnest of prompts. :yay:
Last edited by Factory Factory on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Discord » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:11 pm

I'm a straight, cisgendered male who isn't in a minority at all.

But that doesn't mean there's nothing in this thread for me. The narratives of this thread are powerful, inspiring, human triumphs. There's a lot that anybody can learn from it about gender and sexuality, and how to respect and be sensitive to others' feelings and preference. And it's been a contributor to helping me feel more comfortable against running against the norms of my own gender, while still wanting to remain apart of that gender, and to grow as a feminist.

You can learn, support, and grow from this thread no matter who you are.
Last edited by Discord on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Venusy (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:15 pm

I'm a cisgender male, and currently an aromantic asexual, though I would be curious about experiencing things once just to see what they're like.

For new people, I really would recommend reading the last thread, it's a fantastic resource and filled with wonderful inspirational stories. :allears: Also remember that labels are there for you to define, not for you to be defined by - things can change over time, and you shouldn't feel ashamed if they do.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Bigdog (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:18 pm

Oh, are we going around introductions?

I'm jerrylee, a cis male who identifies as pansexual. I post in these threads despite the little nagging voice that tells me I have nothing of value to say or that I'll make a fool of myself.

There's another little nagging voice that tells me that mentioning the first one is just fishing for compliments, but I manage to ignore that one too. :horse:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by !saak (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:19 pm

Heya, I'm Isaak and the last thread made me look at myself and the world in ways I hadn't before. I learned so much!
Pan, male, strong believer in equality and not-being-a-jerk, turbopositive.

Whoop :yay:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Octavia (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:21 pm

Fizzbuzz wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:08 pm
Is this where we pay our respects to the old thread? While I am a piece of cis scum who doesn't fit into any of the minority groups that this thread covers, I still come here partly because I hate bigotry and partly because I'm always encouraged by the stories and accounts of people who discover and stand up for themselves even in the face of hate. Seriously, all of you who get discriminated against just because of who you are, and yet persevere, are awesome. Even if I might not know your same experiences, I still hope I can be a friend.
It would be impossible for gender and sexual minorities to make any progress without the help of straight allies. There are many things that straight people can do to help the cause. First and most importantly, be a friend to your GSM peers. Listen to them and don't trivialize their worries. Second, have the courage to call out your straight friends when they engage in casual sexism or homophobia. If you question their choice of words, they'll be more likely to think about what they say the next time.

Thank you for your support. :jingo:
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Gravenstein » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:26 pm

Hey, I'm Willie, and I don't know what even the hell. Pretty sure I'm a cis/bi dude? But I've never had a gay encounter. And I always identified with ladies more than I did with guys? But I'm totally fine with my body and dressing like a dude? I GUESS THIS IS P. MUCH THE Q PART OF QUILTBAG, HA HA I'M THE FIRST LETTER :chillin:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Factory Factory (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:27 pm

Octavia wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:21 pm
It would be impossible for gender and sexual minorities to make any progress without the help of straight allies. There are many things that straight people can do to help the cause. First and most importantly, be a friend to your GSM peers. Listen to them and don't trivialize their worries. Second, have the courage to call out your straight friends when they engage in casual sexism or homophobia. If you question their choice of words, they'll be more likely to think about what they say the next time.

Thank you for your support. :jingo:
In other words: Hi, cis scum! :party:
Last edited by Factory Factory on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by BackgroundPony (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:27 pm

Guess I should jump on the trend as well then. Cis, male. I suppose I would identify as bisexual, although I've been in a straight relationship for years so it doesn't matter too much. I do have a rocky past and got to experience first hand the joys of coming out to my parents and then finding myself out of the house in short order. So that was fun. I might get around to posting my story one of these days, although it is still a tender memory and it was more than a decade ago, so it may not be worth dredging it up.

Welcome, everyone!

Timber72

Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Timber72 » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:31 pm

I'm asexual, and I lean towards being mostly aromantic. I'm sensitive to sexual material, but I support everyone who is interested and their rights.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Snowfire (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:33 pm

BackgroundPony wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:27 pm
Guess I should jump on the trend as well then. Cis, male. I suppose I would identify as bisexual, although I've been in a straight relationship for years so it doesn't matter too much. I do have a rocky past and got to experience first hand the joys of coming out to my parents and then finding myself out of the house in short order. So that was fun. I might get around to posting my story one of these days, although it is still a tender memory and it was more than a decade ago, so it may not be worth dredging it up.

Welcome, everyone!
They kicked you out for being bisexual? That sucks BP, I'm sorry :fluttersmith: .
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Hi. (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:35 pm

Woot, new thread!

I'm Hi, I'm Bi.

(Okay, technically pansexual, but that doesn't rhyme. I've also identified as both straight and gay at various points in my life, so who knows what tomorrow will bring!) :party:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Cthulhu Inc (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:38 pm

Oh right, I'm 25% male and 95% female. :v:
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Demeh » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:41 pm

[quote="Cthulhu post_id=46768 time=1365201521 user_id=101]Oh right, I'm 25% male and 95% female. :v:[/quote]

How do I math :gonkity:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Fontra (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:43 pm

I'm Contra and I'm a straight, cis, dude. You also might know me as an asshole shitposter in other places like LYAT and/or mafia games. or just in general

I don't post a lot in these threads because I have very little experience with gender and/or sexual minorities (and it's also not a subject I'm very well-read on so I don't really have much to say anyway), but I enjoy reading other people's experiences and opinions and whatnot.
Last edited by Fontra on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Gravenstein » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:45 pm

Demeh wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:41 pm
[quote="Cthulhu post_id=46768 time=1365201521 user_id=101]Oh right, I'm 25% male and 95% female. :v:
How do I math :gonkity:[/quote]

Cthulhu is 120% total because she's 20% c-*trips, falls down three flights of stairs* :pinkieshrug:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by BackgroundPony (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:53 pm

Snowfire wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:33 pm
They kicked you out for being bisexual? That sucks BP, I'm sorry :fluttersmith: .
Well, more just gay at the time. I'm a living example of how sexual identity can definitely change. I went from dating girls, to being quite turned off by women and only dating guys for a few years, then moved back to a bit of an equilibrium. But now I'm in a straight relationship that has held steady for many years, and I'm content to stay that way. And I don't want to say they kicked me out. What I got was a note the morning after coming out. I don't remember all the details, and I destroyed it long ago, but I do remember one line verbatim: "Move out quickly if you become active." So was I kicked out or not? I don't know, I've thought about it a lot since then and I still don't know. Who would want to stay somewhere in that situation?

Ending up bi also means I got to see the sometimes uncomfortably exclusive nature of sexual communities from both sides. When I had a boyfriend, suddenly my family was against me, but some gay friends swept in and helped me move all my stuff out in several cars in one trip. Really amazing of them, considering I was in a state of semi-shock with my life suddenly pulled out from under me. Later on down the road when I started looking at opposite sex relationships again, those same gay friends didn't really want to hang out much any more. So yeah... bad memories all around. But also some good ones. I recall being a lot more social and open and friendly back then than I have ever been since.

Anyway, distant past and sort of uncomfortable to think back on even now. And it's not like I need help working through things now, I've been through it all and have the battle scars. This thread should be more for those who are still figuring things out, it seems to me.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Ninetails (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:57 pm

Howdy! I'm Kitty Kate, a transgender girl who's madly in love with everything! (Sex optional.) I'm also a bit of a feminist and an advocate for not discriminating against anyone. I'm young and clueless, but that'll never stop me from trying to help everyone I can! :yay:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by brakeless » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:58 pm

If you (the reader) have trouble with thinking of LGBT people as human beings instead of something strange and alien, read this thread. It'll probably help. :party:

If you don't have problems with that, read it anyway because it's a gateway to a human experience that is still being neglected.

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Aramek (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:58 pm

Woo, ground floor.

*hugs y'all*

I'm Aramek. Cis Male who is Flaming Straight. :iiaia:
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Fizzbuzz (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:05 pm

Demeh wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:41 pm
[quote="Cthulhu post_id=46768 time=1365201521 user_id=101]Oh right, I'm 25% male and 95% female. :v:
How do I math :gonkity:[/quote]
Sounds like one of those sorts of things you'd get from a personality test of some sort.
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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Dexanth (?) » Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:06 pm

I'm 200% awesome! :awesomedash:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by Yuls » Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:07 pm

:allears: Ooh, new thread.

I'm Yuls, and I'm a Yuls. As far as sexuality goes, I count as bisexual, but generally when people ask me what I lean towards, I just tell them I am interested in people I find attractive mentally and physically (since so many people automatically think 'what genitalia you interested in?').

I consider myself a sex-positive humanist feminist- for me, feminism is an all encompassing philosophy and endeavor to improve and bring equality to everyone in regards to culture, sex, rights, reproductive healthcare, and so on regardless of their physical sex, their gender, sexual orientation (or lack thereof), or what they're wearing.

I've helped out with both my local university's GSA and feminist organization, so yeah. :pinkietoot:

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Re: The Gender and Sexual Minorities Thread II: So Many Wond

Post by CapacitorPlague » Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:11 pm

Hello, my name is CapacitorPlague and I'm a cisgendered gay male. I had just recently started coming out to my friends and family when this thread started (I got you beat on the "late bloomer" status, Octavia :-P ). Now I'm becoming more comfortable with my sexuality and much more educated about trans and genderqueer people thanks to this thread. :party:

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