Holiday Season Quotes

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:35 am

I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:00 pm

Daddy, the Brown's next door have a new car. You should see it.

Well, what's the matter with our car? Isn't it good enough for you?

Yes, Daddy.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:57 pm

I must stop this whole thing! Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming... but how?

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Dec 09, 2017 1:32 pm

Doc Boy, how's my favorite brother?

Don't call me Doc Boy. And you've probably forgotten I'm your ONLY brother.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:20 pm

Ebenezer?

Yes, Isabelle?

My eyes are closed, my lips are puckered, and I'm standing under the mistletoe.

You're also standing on my foot.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:26 pm

Why weren't you at elf practice?

Just fixing these dolls' teeth.

Just fixing...? Now listen: we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run a temperature. We don't need any chewing dolls!

But I just thought I'd find a way to - to fit in.

You'll never fit in! Now you come to elf practice, learn how to wiggle your ears, chuckle warmly, go "Hee-Hee" and "Ho-Ho", and important stuff like that. A dentist! Good grief!

The Doctor · Post by **The Doctor** (?) » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:16 pm

You know Screwdriver, Nailgun, Crowbar and Jigsaw. But do you recall, the most famous Elf of all?

Uh, no I don't.

That would be Mitch. He had three legs. And was the last Elf to make it snow.

Oh, I would love for it to snow.

Yeah, well, we lost him in a blizzard.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Dec 12, 2017 10:24 pm

I wouldn't touch you with a...39 and a half foot pole.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:54 pm

You think you're so smart with that blanket. What are you going to do with it when you grow up?

Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:25 am

This fog's as thick as peanut butter!

You mean pea soup.

You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:20 am

Hey Garfield, come over here. Garfield, I have a very important job for you. It's a dangerous assignment, but if you succeed, you'll be a hero.

A hero! I like that.

I want you to take this star up the tree and put it on the top.

Climbing trees is my life, sir. If I'm not back in an hour, send a banana cream pie after me.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Dec 17, 2017 5:31 pm

Did you put the envelope in your pocket?

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe, maybe! I don't want any maybe. Look, we've got to find that money.

The Doctor · Post by **The Doctor** (?) » Sun Dec 17, 2017 10:38 pm

But Twilight! Where's the milk of pony kindness?

It's gone off, Spike. It stinks.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:19 pm

He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Dec 19, 2017 8:53 am

I've killed it. Oh! Everything I touch gets ruined.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:40 am

Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

That's right, that's right. Attaboy, Clarence.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:56 pm

Dad would chop down the tree.

Chores.

Mom would fix up a meal.

Work.

Doc Boy would get in the way.

Fighting. Big fat hairy deal.

Decorating the tree.

Gardening.

Wiring all of the lights.

Electrical contracting.

Wrapping boxes and writing out cards.

Office work. Outta sight.

The Doctor · Post by **The Doctor** (?) » Fri Dec 22, 2017 11:31 pm

Oh, Luna, we're fighting again. Let's not fight any more. Look, Luna. What is it?

It's a TOASTER!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:00 am

Too late? Why, nonsense. Ohh, don't cry, Karen. Frosty's not gone for good. You see, he was made out of Christmas snow, and Christmas snow can never disappear completely. Oh yes, sometimes it goes away for almost a year at a time, and takes the form of spring and summer rain. But you can bet your boots that when a good, jolly December wind kisses it, it will turn into Christmas snow all over again.

Yes, but... He was my friend.

Just watch.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:23 am

Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer

Cheer to all Whos far and near

Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp

Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we

Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart, and hand in hand

The Doctor · Post by **The Doctor** (?) » Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:06 pm

We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.

Because they're sober.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:25 am

Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:19 am

Would you mind doing us a favor?

I don't see why I should. No one ever does anything for me. What is it?

Could you let it snow in the south for one day?

WHAT? SNOW IN THE SOUTH?

Just for one day?

NEVER.

Hmmm... unless of course... there was... you know... something in it for me?

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Dec 28, 2017 12:47 pm

You have my sympathy.

Ah! You do not know the weight and length of strong chain you bear yourself! It was as full and as long as this seven Christmas eves ago and you have labored on it since. Ah, it is a ponderous chain!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:31 am

I wish he would have come to me first. I know just how he felt. I bet they called him names and wouldn't let him play in any New Year games.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:32 am

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say...that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then...the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Dec 31, 2017 10:21 pm

Where's that money, you silly, stupid old fool? Where's that money? Do you realize what this means? It means bankruptcy and scandal and prison! That's what it means! One of us is going to jail; well, it's not gonna be me!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Jan 01, 2018 9:31 am

I did it.

Applepie2017 · Post by **Applepie2017** (?) » Thu May 24, 2018 3:56 am

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I wish it was Hearth's Warming Eve every day.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:22 am

You didn't tell me you were gonna kill it!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:40 am

All right, all right! Let's bob for apples! This is the way to do it.

Yeah, Lucy, you should be good at this. You have the perfect mouth for it.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Oct 26, 2018 8:48 am

Is Linus taking me to the party?

That stupid blockhead of a brother of mine is out in the pumpkin patch making his yearly fool of himself.

Boy, is he *strange*.

But maybe there *is* a Great Pumpkin.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Oct 27, 2018 8:23 am

Arrr, it do be a land-lubber who be shovin' lasagna in his face. I declare this booty property of the queen.

Hey! Who do you think you are?

Arrr, I be Orange Beard the Pirate Cap'n, an' this be me first mate, Odie the Stupid.

The Doctor · Post by **The Doctor** (?) » Sat Oct 27, 2018 12:45 pm

What are you looking at?

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in her bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...

Shitter was full.

Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, Spike?

Twilight, please. She doesn't know any better.

She oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas,I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Oct 28, 2018 9:23 am

This island has a secret: a deep, dark secret that is held for a hundred years. One hundred years ago tonight, a ruthless band of pirates held up in this very house. They had looted many ships and were pursued by government troops. They were so heavily laden with their ill-gotten gains they had to bury the treasure before making their escape. However, before they left this island on that stormy night, they signed a contract written in blood. They vowed to return for the treasure one hundred years from Halloween night at the stroke of midnight, even if it meant returning from the grave.

Do you believe that?

Belieeeeeeve it, my friends! The pirates had a ten-year-old cabin boy. I was that boy. I was there. I never took the treasure because they would have found me. There's no escaping them! They know we're here! They know WHO WE ARE!

Well, that made my mind up. C'mon Odie. Let's blow this joint.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Oct 29, 2018 8:57 am

Well, another Halloween has come and gone.

Yes, Charlie Brown.

I don't understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks. I suppose you spent all night in the pumpkin patch. And the Great Pumpkin never showed up?

Nope.

Well, don't take it too hard, Linus. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, too.

STUPID? What do you mean "stupid"? Just wait till next year, Charlie Brown. You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that is *real* sincere and I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see that Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear, and I'll be waiting for him...

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:36 am

He'll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity.

Do you really think he will come?

Tonight the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. He flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world.

That's a good story.

You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.

Welcome to the 20th century!

Mechanical Ape · Post by **Mechanical Ape** (?) » Tue Oct 30, 2018 1:28 pm

Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with you?

It's called a costume.

What are you, some kind of Jamaican zombie woman?

Ryan, will you please tell her who I am?

... Whoopi Goldberg.

Has no one here heard of Kerrigan, from Starcraft? Queen of Blades?

It's all Toby's fault.

Every Halloween I tell him the same thing: “You can't bring weapons into the office.” And every year he says the same thing: “As soon as I get my weapons back, I'm gonna kill you.” But there I am at Thanksgiving, alive. I’m a lucky turkey.

The Doctor · Post by **The Doctor** (?) » Tue Oct 30, 2018 10:12 pm

You're wet...

Yes.... It's raining.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:25 am

I got a rock.