Holiday Season Quotes
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Tender lumplings everywhere
Life’s no fun without a good scare
That’s our job but we’re not mean!
In our town of Halloween
Life’s no fun without a good scare
That’s our job but we’re not mean!
In our town of Halloween
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.
That's right. I've seen you make toast. You can't butter it, but maybe we can help you. Snoopy, you go out to the garage and make a table we can set up in the backyard.
That's right. I've seen you make toast. You can't butter it, but maybe we can help you. Snoopy, you go out to the garage and make a table we can set up in the backyard.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Thanksgiving isn't about blending of two cultures! It's about one culture wiping out another! And then they make animated specials about the part where -- with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and Squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach.
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Good grief, it's four o'clock! We're supposed to be at grandmother's house for Thanksgiving by 4:30! I'd better talk to her and explain my dilemma.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- The Doctor
- Turner Of All Things Timey Wimey
- Posts: 806
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:42 pm
- Location: Time & Space
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Welcome to Marethon. May I help you?
Yes.
How may I help you?
You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick — 4 fucking wheels and a seat!
I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now.
May I see your rental agreement?
I threw it away.
Oh, boy.
"Oh, boy" what?
You're fucked.
Yes.
How may I help you?
You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick — 4 fucking wheels and a seat!
I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now.
May I see your rental agreement?
I threw it away.
Oh, boy.
"Oh, boy" what?
You're fucked.
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Apologies accepted, Chuck ole boy?
Sure.
There's enough problems in the world already, Chuck, without these stupid misunderstandings. Let's not play lovers' games, Chuck.
I agree.
Sure.
There's enough problems in the world already, Chuck, without these stupid misunderstandings. Let's not play lovers' games, Chuck.
I agree.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Anyway, why should I give thanks on Thanksgiving? What have I got to be thankful for? All it does is make more work for us at school.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Do you know what we have to do? We have to write an essay on Stanley Miles.
You mean Miles Standish.
I can't keep track of all those names.
You mean Miles Standish.
I can't keep track of all those names.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Holidays always depress me.
I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.
For Christmas, already?
I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.
For Christmas, already?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
What are you going to do on Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown?
My mother and dad, and Sally and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner.
Why don't you come along, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.
Blah.
My mother and dad, and Sally and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner.
Why don't you come along, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.
Blah.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
What's the matter, big brother?
Nothing. I was just checking the mailbox.
What did you expect, a turkey card?
Nothing. I was just checking the mailbox.
What did you expect, a turkey card?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
This is not unlike another famous Thanksgiving episode. Do you remember the story of John Alden, and Priscilla Mullins, and Captain Miles Standish?
This isn't like that one at all.
This isn't like that one at all.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
-
Madeline
- never existed
- Posts: 1003
- Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2018 3:45 pm
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
What the hell are you driving here?
We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
Do you have any idea of how fast you were going?
Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
Do you have any idea of how fast you were going?
Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
You're holding my hand, Chuck, you sly dog.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- W.T. Fits
- Storm, ride the storm
Never-ending
Skies darkened, torn
Heaven-rending
Ire, fury borne
Never-ending
Roar, hear my roar! - Posts: 285
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:46 pm
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
We should go on a beer run. Are we okay to drive?
I know a good way to find out. If I can steer that remote control car around the living room without crashing, then we're okay.
Randy, that's a cat.
We shouldn't drive.
That's when I realized we might be too drunk to drive, but, we weren't too drunk to pedal. Although I learned a valuable lesson that night: if you're gonna try to fly a bicycle you'd better make sure E.T. is sitting in your basket instead of a twelve pack of beer.
I know a good way to find out. If I can steer that remote control car around the living room without crashing, then we're okay.
Randy, that's a cat.
We shouldn't drive.
That's when I realized we might be too drunk to drive, but, we weren't too drunk to pedal. Although I learned a valuable lesson that night: if you're gonna try to fly a bicycle you'd better make sure E.T. is sitting in your basket instead of a twelve pack of beer.
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Are we going to have a prayer? It's Thanksgiving, you know.
Before we're served, shouldn't we say grace?
Before we're served, shouldn't we say grace?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- The Doctor
- Turner Of All Things Timey Wimey
- Posts: 806
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:42 pm
- Location: Time & Space
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Grace? She passed away 30 years ago.PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Sun Nov 11, 2018 7:56 amAre we going to have a prayer? It's Thanksgiving, you know.
Before we're served, shouldn't we say grace?
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
We've got ANOTHER holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day is upon us.
I haven't even finished eating all of my Halloween candy!
Sally, Thanksgiving is a very important holiday. Ours was the first country in the world to make a national holiday to give thanks.
Isn't he the cutest thing?
I haven't even finished eating all of my Halloween candy!
Sally, Thanksgiving is a very important holiday. Ours was the first country in the world to make a national holiday to give thanks.
Isn't he the cutest thing?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Don't feel bad, Chuck. Peppermint Patty didn't mean all those things she said. Actually, she really likes you.
I don't feel bad for myself; I just feel bad because I ruined everyone's Thanksgiving.
But Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving,' Charlie Brown.
I don't feel bad for myself; I just feel bad because I ruined everyone's Thanksgiving.
But Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving,' Charlie Brown.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Now you remember what I told you about the best time to plant corn?
You said we should plant the corn when the oak leaves are the size of a mouse's ear.
You said we should plant the corn when the oak leaves are the size of a mouse's ear.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
What kind of Thanksgiving dinner is this? Where's the turkey, Chuck? Don't you know anything about Thanksgiving dinners? Where's the mashed potatoes? Where's the cranberry sauce? Where's the pumpkin pie?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
I think I'm losing control of the whole world.
*Now* what's wrong?
Now she's bringing Franklin, too. Peppermint Patty's invited herself, Marcie, and Franklin over for Thanksgiving dinner. And I'm not even going to be home. I'm going to be at my grandmother's.
Why don't you just call her back and explain it to her?
You can't explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything. I'm doomed. Three guests for Thanksgiving, and I'm not even going to be home. Peppermint Patty will hate me for the rest of my life.
*Now* what's wrong?
Now she's bringing Franklin, too. Peppermint Patty's invited herself, Marcie, and Franklin over for Thanksgiving dinner. And I'm not even going to be home. I'm going to be at my grandmother's.
Why don't you just call her back and explain it to her?
You can't explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything. I'm doomed. Three guests for Thanksgiving, and I'm not even going to be home. Peppermint Patty will hate me for the rest of my life.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Every fall, growing up, my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it Hay Place. Eldred called it Hay World. Eventually, lawyers were brought in. But that's all behind us. Hay Place lives on.
Hello! Welcome to Hay Place. A place for hay.
Don't forget to make a broom.
The petting zoo closes at 2:00, and the goat roast is at 3:00.
Hello! Welcome to Hay Place. A place for hay.
Don't forget to make a broom.
The petting zoo closes at 2:00, and the goat roast is at 3:00.
-
Madeline
- never existed
- Posts: 1003
- Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2018 3:45 pm
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
You're going the wrong way! You're going to kill somebody!
He says we're going the wrong way...
Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
He says we're going the wrong way...
Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
What's this? A piece of toast? A pretzel stick? Popcorn? What blockhead cooked all this?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
We're all invited to Charlie Brown's grandmother's for Thanksgiving dinner.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
You were kind of rough on Charlie Brown, weren't you, sir?
Rough? Look at this! Is this what you call a Thanksgiving day dinner? Did we come across town for this? We're supposed to be served a real Thanksgiving dinner!
Now wait a minute, sir. Did he invite you here to dinner, or did you invite yourself, and us, too?
Gee, I never thought of it like that. You think I hurt ole Chuck's feelings? I bet I hurt his feelings, huh? Golly, why can't I act right outside of a baseball game?
Marcie, maybe you could go to ole Chuck and patch things up for me. Maybe you can tell him how I really feel. Tell him I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Marcie, you can do it. You go and see him and tell him I really like it and I think the dinner's okay with me.
Well, I don't know, but I'll try. I think maybe you should go to Chuck and tell him yourself.
No, Marcie, I'll just ruin everything. You know I'm too brusque and rough. You go and speak for me.
Well, okay.
Rough? Look at this! Is this what you call a Thanksgiving day dinner? Did we come across town for this? We're supposed to be served a real Thanksgiving dinner!
Now wait a minute, sir. Did he invite you here to dinner, or did you invite yourself, and us, too?
Gee, I never thought of it like that. You think I hurt ole Chuck's feelings? I bet I hurt his feelings, huh? Golly, why can't I act right outside of a baseball game?
Marcie, maybe you could go to ole Chuck and patch things up for me. Maybe you can tell him how I really feel. Tell him I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Marcie, you can do it. You go and see him and tell him I really like it and I think the dinner's okay with me.
Well, I don't know, but I'll try. I think maybe you should go to Chuck and tell him yourself.
No, Marcie, I'll just ruin everything. You know I'm too brusque and rough. You go and speak for me.
Well, okay.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
-
Madeline
- never existed
- Posts: 1003
- Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2018 3:45 pm
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Peppermint Patty: Thanksgiving freeloader, smh
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Welcome Englishmen, welcome.
And who might you be?
My name is Samoset. My people welcome you to our land.
And how... how in the world do you know our language?
And who might you be?
My name is Samoset. My people welcome you to our land.
And how... how in the world do you know our language?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
What are we going to wear to this big Thanksgiving party, sir? What time do we go?
Well kid, I'm gonna go like this. Ole Chuck is pretty cool about dates. He always wears that striped shirt of his.
I just talked to Charlie Brown. He said dinner would be served a little earlier.
Great, we're ready.
You think I should wear a tie?
No, you can go as you are, Franklin. I don't think Chuck'll mind. Besides, he didn't say it was formal.
Well kid, I'm gonna go like this. Ole Chuck is pretty cool about dates. He always wears that striped shirt of his.
I just talked to Charlie Brown. He said dinner would be served a little earlier.
Great, we're ready.
You think I should wear a tie?
No, you can go as you are, Franklin. I don't think Chuck'll mind. Besides, he didn't say it was formal.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Why weren't you at elf practice?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
You're a hero, Homer J
You're as crafty as a skunk
They'll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders' junk
Homer J ...
You're a double-bacon genius burger --
And just a little drunk!
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Tell me, spirit, what's wrong with that tiny lad?
Much, I'm afraid. If these shadows remain unchanged, I see an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat.
Then that means Tim will...
Much, I'm afraid. If these shadows remain unchanged, I see an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat.
Then that means Tim will...
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, *awful* idea!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous.
Nervous or excited?
Shittin' bricks.
You shouldn't use that word.
Sorry. Shittin' rocks.
Nervous or excited?
Shittin' bricks.
You shouldn't use that word.
Sorry. Shittin' rocks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Click for Fullsize Grandma, you remember Garfield, don't you?
Well, I'll be. I remember back when all we had were wood-burning cats. Ah, what'll they think of next?
Click for Fullsize Bizarre.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
You DO think I'm beautiful, don't you, Charlie Brown?
You didn't answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn't you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would've spoken right up. I know when I've been insulted. I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED.
Good grief.
You didn't answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn't you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would've spoken right up. I know when I've been insulted. I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED.
Good grief.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Now you go home and write "I am very sorry for what I did to Frosty" a hundred zillion times. And then maybe - just maybe, mind you - you'll find something in your stocking tomorrow morning.
Like - a new hat, maybe? Ohh, yes, sir! Goodbye, everyone! Sorry to lose and run, but I've got to get busy writing, busy, busy, busy!
Like - a new hat, maybe? Ohh, yes, sir! Goodbye, everyone! Sorry to lose and run, but I've got to get busy writing, busy, busy, busy!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Holiday Season Quotes
Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.
That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war! He got the Congressional Medal of Honor! He saved the lives of every man on that transport!
Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.
That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war! He got the Congressional Medal of Honor! He saved the lives of every man on that transport!
Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")