[SHIPPING (the boring kind)] Nautical Nonsense; Or: Skipper Blabs Bullshit 'Bout Boats
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- Skipper
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[SHIPPING (the boring kind)] Nautical Nonsense; Or: Skipper Blabs Bullshit 'Bout Boats
Answers may or may not follow.
Last edited by Skipper on Thu Dec 12, 2019 6:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Orange Fluffy Sheep
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
I checked the ship's plan for you.Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote: ↑Sun Oct 20, 2019 10:21 pmHow many toilets are on the boat you have most recently boarded?
37 toilets, of which 9 for public access.
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
How many shanties do you know?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Depends on how rigid your definition of a shanty is, but if we're talking about "songs with a nautical theme" then I'd say I know about 3 or 4.
They're not very popular on board anymore. We mostly listen to pop music.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Bandwagons are a regular appearance on TRS so I'd say there isn't much of a difference, really.Gloomy Rube wrote: ↑Sun Oct 20, 2019 11:20 pmWhat is the difference between a bandwagon and a regular wagon?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
What are your duties on the ship, and is it true the best ship is friendship AppleDash?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Is it still shipping if it's canon now?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
why does the ship need 37 toilets, is it just that big or what's the idea there
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Oh wow, what a question. This is going to be long.ToastGhost wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 5:15 amWhat are your duties on the ship, and is it true the best ship is friendship AppleDash?
I'm a Chief Mate, which means I'm the head of the navigational/deck department. I have around 9 or more people who report directly to me, and I'm the second in command, so if the captain for whatever reason is incapacitated I assume control of the ship.
At sea I keep watch on the bridge, 6 hours a day; from 4 to 8 AM and from 4 to 6 PM. The hours in between I do my administration, plan the maintenance and work to be done for the 2nd and 3rd mates and the deckhands and do my own jobs. I make regular overtime since there is generally a lot of work to be done.
I'm in charge of the hospital and hold a Medical Certificate, so I'm more or less the "doctor" on board. Although I can treat several ailments on my own and am qualified to do injections/infusions, treat burns and do stitches and all sorts of those things, for the serious injuries and illnesses I can always fall back on the Radio Medical Advice, which can be consulted 24/7.
I'm also in charge of the voyage planning and maintenance of the (now electronic) charts, although I delegate this task to the 2nd mate, who also does maintenance of the safety equipment for me on board. I'm the Deputy Security Officer, which means that I have very specific duties with regards to keeping the ship safe and secure.
During departure and arrival I am on the bridge with the captain and the pilot, handling communication with the mooring stations fore and aft, double-checking the course, speed and position of the ship and the navigational decisions made by the others and correcting them when necessary.
When we have cargo orders, I prepare the hold. Since we work in a pretty specialized field, the so-called Heavy Lift or project cargo, the plans can be pretty complicated and can take several days to prepare.
In port I generally work from 7 AM to 6 PM, but days may last up to a maximum of 14 hours with a cap of 77 hours per week. The trick is to make a good division of labor together with a tight planning, so that groups of people can do continuous work without having to wait for each other to attain maximum efficiency. This is actually one of the things I'm pretty good at.
During lifting operations I am in charge of the cranes and give direct orders to the crane drivers. For non-cargo lifts, for example shifting the tweendecks (which weigh around 90 tons each), I sometimes let the 2nd mate do this, depending on their level of experience. When doing critical lifts I'm not really supposed to operate the crane myself but sometimes I do when I don't trust the skills of my appointed crane driver, or when I'm short on people, or just because I enjoy it because I think crane driving is really fun. I'm actually pretty experienced in it and can make all three crane movements simultaneously and controlled. These cranes can lift up to 350 tons each, 700 combined, the so-called "tandem mode"; so not very much but still quite a lot.
There is a lot more to it and I can go on and on talking about it, but that's more or less the gist of it.
I'm not really into shipping ponies, but I think Applejack and Dash make a pretty cute couple.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Yeah, it's just that big. Although we are currently only with 18 people on board we can take riders with us, people employed by the customer who travel together with the cargo, so we have a lot of spare cabins and they all have their own bathroom. Plus regulations stipulate that there must be a public toilet on each deck, a separate one for men and women. Which is ridiculous because it is just a single toilet bowl in a room with a door that can be locked; I very much doubt a toilet seat would care whether a male or a female butt takes place on it.Perrydotto wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 10:42 amwhy does the ship need 37 toilets, is it just that big or what's the idea there
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
You are at sea, a xenomorph has escaped from containment and you are the only survivor left on board. Your game plan?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
how long does it take to walk from one point of the ship to the furthest away point on the opposite side
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Mechanical Ape wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:14 pmYou are at sea, a xenomorph has escaped from containment and you are the only survivor left on board. Your game plan?
- Transfer all ballast from side tanks into double bottom tanks
- Ship now has ridiculously low centre of gravity and consequently, an extremely large stability arm
- Put ship on a course directly perpendicular to heavy sea and swell
- Ship now rolls 60 degrees board-to-board in under 10 seconds
- Xenomorph spends the rest of its time on board puking its guts out and moaning how much it wants to die
- Profit
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
That would be from the top of the foremast on the monkey island (the deck above the bridge) all the way to the propeller tunnel just above the keel, 5.5 meters under the waterline. I'd have to climb down 3 vertical ladders, go down 5 decks to the cargo deck, pass the code lock door into the hallway, pass the watertight door into the garage, then the watertight door into the starboard service way, go down 3 more decks, walk approximately 125 meters aft, enter the propulsion room through another heavy watertight door, open yet another watertight door and crawl into the shaft tunnel until I reach the end where the shaft seal is located.Perrydotto wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:28 pmhow long does it take to walk from one point of the ship to the furthest away point on the opposite side
[E] I don't really know how long it would take. I'd like to say something like 15 minutes but I've never timed it.
Last edited by Skipper on Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
that's awesome
you gotta understand I've never been on something that big that also moves
you gotta understand I've never been on something that big that also moves
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Legit awesomeSkipper wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:30 pm
- Transfer all ballast from side tanks into double bottom tanks
- Ship now has ridiculously low centre of gravity and consequently, an extremely large stability arm
- Put ship on a course directly perpendicular to heavy sea and swell
- Ship now rolls 60 degrees board-to-board in under 10 seconds
- Xenomorph spends the rest of its time on board puking its guts out and moaning how much it wants to die
- Profit
As is learning “monkey island” is a real place
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
also TIL that "monkey island" is an actual sailor term and explains why the game series of the same name is called that
Huh!
Huh!
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
what's your favorite way to pass the time to avoid going nuts being on one big swimming island with the same people for weeks
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Yeah, it's kind of cool. We get used to it pretty quickly but it is really something else. And then we're not even one of the biggest ships around. We generate our own power, if all 4 diesel electric generators are running that's about 12,000 kilowatt or more than 16,000 horsepower. We also make our own freshwater from seawater through reversed osmosis, up to 45 tons per day.Perrydotto wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:48 pmthat's awesome
you gotta understand I've never been on something that big that also moves
We're like a small, self-sufficient village.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
I don't really have much free time, but in the few hours I have I like to read a book, or go to the bar to drink a beer and talk about stupid shit with my colleagues. There's a recreation room where we can play darts or table tennis or sing karaoke. We like to watch movies together, when the weather is nice we have a barbecue, or we build a swimming pool. There's a big gym if you like working out. The Neptune ritual is always nice but it's only done when crossing the equator with people who have never done so before aboard a ship.Perrydotto wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:51 pmwhat's your favorite way to pass the time to avoid going nuts being on one big swimming island with the same people for weeks
And of course the best thing, hanging out with you guys when the internet connection allows it.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
What most people on shore don't understand is that the ocean is really, reallllly huge.
Imagine seeing this:
All around you, in all directions. No land, no other ships. One single course, 4 weeks long. Just water. It always puts everything in perspective for me, how extremely small and vulnerable and insignificant we humans actually are, despite all our delusions of grandeur. Especially at night, standing on the bridge wing, looking up into the night sky which is like a dome spotted with all the stars you never see on land. We are so tiny.
Oh yeah, and during night time this is how the bridge looks:
Imagine seeing this:
All around you, in all directions. No land, no other ships. One single course, 4 weeks long. Just water. It always puts everything in perspective for me, how extremely small and vulnerable and insignificant we humans actually are, despite all our delusions of grandeur. Especially at night, standing on the bridge wing, looking up into the night sky which is like a dome spotted with all the stars you never see on land. We are so tiny.
Oh yeah, and during night time this is how the bridge looks:
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
It is a kind of hazing ritual that has quite a gruesome history, actually, but on all the ships I've been where we performed it a lot of care was taken to keep it just a fun little ceremony. Basically what happens is, when the ship crosses the equator, "King Neptune" (most often the captain in disguise but sometimes another officer) pays a visit and if there's crew on board who have never crossed on board a ship they are "captured" by Neptune's pirates, to be punished for their alleged crime of going over the line without the King's permission.
Details of the punishment vary, but it mostly entails having your head shaved and having to eat and drink disgusting things (like drinking beer with sambal in it, or eating some "soup" that's made up from all different condiments on board mixed together, you know, stuff like that). One of my personal favorites is the "fish tie": I'd get a couple of fishes from the cook, thread a piece of string through them and then keep them in a hot and humid spot for several days until they start to stink really bad. The "victims" then have to wear them around their necks, like a tie.
After the ceremony there's generally a big barbecue with a lot of beer and you'll get a certificate that proves that you crossed the equator, and bears the "baptismal name" given to you by Neptune. Mine is "Sea Horse", incidentally; the ship I was on was called the [Company Name] Sea, and the senior officers on board thinking up the names considered me being as tall and hardworking as a horse.
With all kinds of scrap material! All you need is some stuff like pallets, wood beams or things like that to make a large frame and then you line it with tarpaulins. After it's doe just start up the firefighting pump, fill the whole contraption with seawater and there you go.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
God, I love that ritual.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Same bridge at civil twilight (sun < 6 degrees below horizon):
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
It would upset and trigger me, but that’s my issues and not anyone else’s
this is a good thread, though (sorry, not a question)
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
We're currently underway to Norway so I probably won't be able to reply to this thread as much until we get there on Thursday and I can use my 4G again.
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
When are we having drinks
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
I do think it's funny that oh no! In order to grant me my "sea legs" King Posideon demands I eat this ketchup malaise!
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
so i assume you're on board one of those big ol' container ships right?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
1. What is the question you want to answer the most?
2. What is the answer to it?
3. Why am I the best at both asking and answering questions?
4. Why didn't you offer me any snuff at Bronycon?
2. What is the answer to it?
3. Why am I the best at both asking and answering questions?
4. Why didn't you offer me any snuff at Bronycon?
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Re: I made a bandwagon thread, AMA
Also can I ever ride on your boat to get to Europe?