Lowtax has been ousted from Something Awful, is melting down

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Lowtax has been ousted from Something Awful, is melting down

Post by Fizzbuzz (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 9:41 am

In case you missed it from last night:
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So, yeah. Consider pulling out of his Patreon if you're in it. Basically all of SA is revolting against Lowtax right now, including even some of the mods and admins, and no one knows what's going to happen next. Maybe save anything you particularly love off of SA, just in case Lowtax burns it down.

Anyway, here's to us being a successful SA offsite for nine years now. :pinkietoot:


June 25 update:
I, Jeffrey of YOSPOS, have reached an agreement with Lowtax to transfer all Something Awful LLC assets to me. No contract has been signed yet but these things take time and I want to make this announcement now. Obviously, if this falls through, you all will hear it straight from me.

Lowtax asked me to make clear that this is not an admission of any guilt. He maintains his innocence. However, he recognizes that the site cannot continue with him in charge, and the community and site are more important than his name.

This has been one of the most stressful and sad ~72 hours of my forums life and I'm sure everyone has a million questions and I'll plan on discussing this with the community tonight, after taking a few hours to catch my breath. Please don't burn down the whole site yet - we can get through this as a community.

This site has been extremely important to me since I joined 15 years ago. I love this place more than anything and, and top of everything else, the idea of it just going away was heartbreaking to me. My promise to all of you is that I love something awful as something awful, and my intention is to preserve all of the things that make this site incredible. This will be something awful, at its best, not any sort of weird vision of what something awful should be.
July 12 update:
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October 9 update:
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 9:44 am

lowtax is a piece of shit
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Madeline (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:37 am

fuck lowtax

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Princess Flufflebutt (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:48 am

DaikatunaRevengeance wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 9:44 am
lowtax is a piece of shit
Madeline wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:37 am
fuck lowtax
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Madeline (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:25 pm

reminder that lowtax has literally always been a piece of garbage and all goons or ex-goons (including me) should have seen the signs

quote so you don’t give him clicks/money/for when he inevitably deletes it:
LESSON #1: NEVER GET ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH A CRAZY WOMAN.


Since I wanted to post something more positive and uplifting than my experience with my ex-fiancee, I included this image of SA Forum Goon "Horribleman" who got drunk, threw up on my carpet, then passed out in the bathtub.
This important lesson repeatedly surfaces in my life, much like how dark clouds gather before an acid rain storm in southern California, or as Robert Downy Jr. appears before the SWAT Team arrives equipped with an assault team of U-Haul moving vans large enough to comfortably relocate his current fix of cocaine and tar heroin. However, no matter how carefully I investigate potential mates, despite the amount of time I spend "getting to know them better" (or as the authorities refer to as "stalking them by hiding in the bushes and furiously masturbating outside their garage"), and regardless of whom I eventually grow romantically linked to, their brains eventually collapse into a Biggie-Sized bowl of wacko chili. By using convential logic, I must assume one of at least three possible conclusions contain some shread of truth. Please note the purpose of the following three items is to clarify and explain why I am no longer engaged to Emily "I Am Not a Crook" Reigel to the people who email me daily and ask why she never updates anymore. If you do not enjoy Internet drama, then please skip to Lesson #2 and pretend I wrote something witty and poignant about Iraq and / or George W. "W." Bush Jr.

1) I have a subconscious desire to date people who make my limited and fleeting grasp of reality appear superior in comparison. I somewhat believe in this conclusion, as Emily "I Do Not Tell the Truth" Reigel appeared to embody the ideal of a "normal" person for nearly a year. Of course, I conceivably might have overlooked a few tell-tale signs of her brain goofiness, such as the time she had a plane ticket to meet me in Seattle but she claimed the FBI and CIA stopped her at the airport, refusing to let her on the plane. According to Emily "Person Who Lies" Reigel, the US Government had detained her under the claim she was a threat or terrorist or very large explosive of some sort. She spent most of that day calling me and providing helpful, up-to-the-moment fictional progress reports concerning her fictional interrogation by fictional FBI officers in the fictional airport security room. She additionally provided me with their fictional names, you know, just in case if I didn't believe such a plausibly fictional idea. To take it one step even further, she chose to write up a lengthy, detailed, exciting summary of the fictional events that fictitiously occurred that day! I recently learned, in reality, Emily spent that entire day crying in her bed and never even bothered to leave for the airport. So perhaps this theory could still be considered "up in the air," much like where my brain had to have been located to believe such a ludicrous story.

2) I possess some ability which causes people to spontaneously grow nutty after repeated exposure to myself. I can safely rule out this one as well, as Emily "Lying For Fun and Profit" Reigel had completely made up some fictitious life she claimed to have lived before engaging in constant exposure to me. She told me she went to medical school; in reality, she was a hypochondriac who enjoyed visiting the WebMD website every other hour. She claimed she had never been in a "serious" relationship before; in reality, she spent nearly three years dating some poor sod named "Kevin" when she decided to begin cheating on him with me, then lied to him by claiming she planned on moving to Seattle "for a job opportunity." You know, as opposed to "living with another man." She professed that once my apartment lease ran out in May, I should move up to Wisconsin so we could live together once again and get married; in reality, she moved up to Wisconsin in January and decided to get back with her ol' buddy Kevin, since he is the only person in her life crazy enough to tolerate her insecure, patholigical lying bonus features. Poor Kevin, I hope he wakes up to his senses and decides to meet somebody who might have a more positive influence in his life, such as that time-traveling plane engine from "Donnie Darko." Trust me, that pain will seem miniscule compared to time spent with Emily "Oops, My Entire Life Is a Lie" Reigel.

3) I simply have lousy taste in women. Out of all theories, I'd say this contains the most truth. For example, I dated some girl for a few months in college. After I broke up with her, she promptly became a lesbian. I decided to become romantically involved with a woman a couple years ago, and now she sells beads and string online. Perhaps I need to embrace Raymond Watts' theory of "find it, fuck it, forget it" which makes sassy women relationship movies such a Lifetime Network blast these days. If I were to conceivably embark on a strict fucking and forgetting policy, then I wouldn't have to deal with the aspect of becoming engaged to somebody whose mind is composed of an equal mixture of "cryin' and lyin'" neurons.

Of course this lesson has essentially blossomed into a full-fledged e/n diatribe, but since I personally started this website and am forced to pay thousands of dollars for the bandwidth and servers so people may read this crap, I feel it is my public duty to inform you that I am forced to pay thousands of dollars for the bandwidth and servers so people may read this crap. I take solace in the fact that all my past mistakes and embarrassments will remain engraved on this site until the servers catch fire and fall into the Pacific Ocean. If you glean any knowledge from this lesson, I hope that it may be "getting engaged to crazy pathological liars = bad."

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Madeline (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:25 pm

this is from 2003, btw

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Mr. Big (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:26 pm

Gotta say, yikes all around :nngh:

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:31 pm

that's some post, oh boy
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;) ❤️ :twasnothin: ❤️ :fancyhat:

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Gloomy Rube (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 2:52 pm

lowtax more like extremely taxing to deal with
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by ixnay (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 2:56 pm

$55 for 6 cookies lmao

https://www.goldbelly.com/gooey-on-the- ... f=merchant

god i hope SA can be wrestled away from lowtax because the internet needs a large forum with a lot of breadth for old people like me. no way in hell i'm using reddit or a million separate discords to keep track of all the disparate things I use SA for today

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Octavia (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:01 pm

Sucks because SAS is pretty much the only sports forum on the entire internet that isn't rampant with homophobia. Also I met the love of my life on SA and we've been together going on 11 years now.

Anyway, I dropped my Patreon with SA.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:11 pm

someone should wrestle them away from lowtax
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Fizzbuzz (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:17 pm

Maybe we can get Uwe Boll to come back and box him for the honor of the forums.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:23 pm

you know what

sure
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Fizzbuzz (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:32 pm

I first want to let folks know that a few admins do know Logan and have spoken with her and she is safe right now. She has the full support of all the modmins and if she wants to come here to talk to you guys she can, but her safety both physical and emotional are paramount right now and if she chooses not to do that please respect her wishes and her privacy.

As for the rest, well, this fucking sucks.

I basically grew up on SA as did a lot of you. I have made friends and found communities and met many people who I consider precious and important. On the whole we became moderators and admins because we love the various communities we're a part of and want to see them be welcoming, cool, funny, informative places for everyone. None of the shit the nominal owner of the site does really has much to do with any of that, and it never has. Through pure happenstance his name is linked to the progress of a beloved internet institution which is almost entirely run by people who love it with zero input from him.

So that's why walking away, for us right now, is not an option. If we actually worked for Lowtax that would be a different matter, but frankly, we don't. Each of us feels beholden above all else to the community here and right now our priority is protecting that community, and we can't do that if we just skip town. If it comes to it the modmin team is ready to collectively walk away, but I don't think any of us want to do that if we don't have to. We don't want to watch our spaces and our communities disintegrate, which is what will happen if each space shatters into half a dozen offsites.

Right now we're discussing options for the future of the forums, but that said, we have no idea what is going to happen next. As usual, we're finding out about most of this at the same time as the rest of you. Please bear with us while we try to figure this shit out. In the mean time, please reach out to one another. Don't let our communities dissolve under the weight of emotional fatigue and attrition and fear for the future. We'll keep you updated when the situation changes.

Finally: believe women. If you have money to spare, please donate it to a local shelter or organization that supports abuse survivors.
A post from Reene explaining where the mods and (the rest of) the admins stand on this. Basically, Lowtax's shit was news to them too, and for the sake of holding the community together they don't yet want to walk away.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Gloomy Rube (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:41 pm

It's probably best if it does collapse though, given that people were banned by some of these mods and admins the first time lowtax got accused of beating his SOs.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by RIP Syndrome (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:59 pm

Lowtax is a dumb poopyhead and I don't like him
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by RIP Syndrome (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:01 pm

I've already used up my fuck word quota today so that's the strongest denouncement of Rich C. "Lowtax" Kyanka I'm gonna bother posting today, but let it be known: he is walking human waste
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Pocket (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:15 pm

Something Awful is a relic from the days when people could be forgiven for not realizing how dickish it is to devote time to making fun of people for having weird interests. Lowtax literally invented cringe culture, and we're still feeling the aftereffects from it.

So yeah, not terribly surprised to learn that he's garbage, nor disappointed to see him finally outed for it.

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:19 pm

from what i understand SA has changed a lot over the years

but shitty lowtax remained the same having been passed by time because he's a turd
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by RIP Syndrome (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:23 pm

Lowtax literally hasn't contributed in any way to the forums for well over 10 years now and every time he posted it was some vapid nonsense that had nothing to do with the topic and/or was whining about his personal life or problems. it's incredible really
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:25 pm

yeah, it is
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Fizzbuzz (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:55 pm

Lowtax "resigned" in February 2008, leaving the forums to be run first by Fragmaster (who, as far as I know, is still cool) and then the loose consortium of the mods and admins that have governed since 2009. Lowtax hasn't done shit since then except occasionally show up and whine about his personal life or how the Internet had changed without him. Since he still owned SA, he basically couldn't be told "no" when she wanted to show up and ban people, though thankfully he used this power rarely.

He barely did anything for the site since then. I think the most he did was to finally fire radium in 2014 or so and get rid of FYAD six months ago. And even then I'm not sure how much of that was actually his doing and how much was him being forced into it by the community, much like how goons will hopefully get him to leave now.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by RIP Syndrome (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 5:06 pm

radium was fired in late 2011 or early 2012 IIRC, Choochacacko worked on the site for most of 2012 through to early 2013 and finally got things done. Lowtax did sporadically work on the forums since then, including a half-finished mobile stylesheet and other random crap, but any actual work was done by sysadmins sourced from the community incl. Volte (radium's enemy), ZDR and now Jeffrey of YOSPOS

incidentally, Lowtax did show up here and there and affect site policy with his nonsensical LET'S BE LIKE KIWIFARMS ALL FUN AND HUMOR crap and so did his then-wife LadyAmbien. IIRC they had a funny meltdown in D&D that was memory-holed from the forums.

anyway point being Lowtax did also cause at least one mod-admin exodus a few years back, hired some sysadmins for a while and ultimately just stopped doing anything other than begging for money/having a manic episode on the forums every six to nine months and by that point the show was being run by a crop of the then-new admins, primarily ZDR and FactsAreUseless until ZDR vanished after some drama and FAU stepped down
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by RIP Syndrome (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 5:09 pm

Lowtax literally only managed to cause problems during 2014-2020 or thereabouts. before that he made some minor contributions like hiring Chooch, but after that it was a bunch of moronic crap in (if you believe the rumors) an Ambien and box red wine fueled haze

it was through sheer luck, a helpful sysadmin working for free and donations that the site ended up getting rescued after the physical hardware started to fail and moved to a modern host without physical hardware for the sysadmin to take care of
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 5:22 pm

damn
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by drunkill (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 5:26 pm

welp

of course lowtax is a piece of shit, but like, on a huge scale.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Princess Flufflebutt (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:51 pm

Lowtax more like low scum
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:59 pm

Princess Flufflebutt wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:51 pm
Lowtax more like low scum
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:01 pm

the silence is deafening. what is lowtax's plan?
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Madeline (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:29 pm

Princess Flufflebutt wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:51 pm
Lowtax more like low scum

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by diribigal (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:39 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:01 pm
the silence is deafening. what is lowtax's plan?
overwrite the front page article calling him out...profit?
ImageImageImage Very math.

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:39 pm

When you lose 6k a month on your patreon it's like



Not something that blows over
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:41 pm

diribigal wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:39 pm
overwrite the front page article calling him out...profit?
I heard it was by Logan's request since an article is a lot more thing than forums posts
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:41 pm

More thing, yes.
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Madeline (?) » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:53 am

I’m looking at the police reports being posted in QCS and it’s worse than what the initial reports made it sound like

and those reports sounded really bad

could’ve used a content warning, but who needs sleep :shepspike:

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Mr. Big (?) » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:57 am

The police report is here, but yeah, it's really bad. Heads up

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Mr. Big (?) » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:17 am

Madeleine pointed this out to me on Discord, but TIL that Lowtax got his username from a Tennessee politician who legally changed his middle name to (Low Tax), yes with parenthesis.

Said politician murdered his political opponent in an attempt to win the election by default (at the time the state law was that any candidate who dies before election has to be taken out of the ballot). That, uh, didn't work

Unsurprisingly, this guy was abusive to his girlfriend.

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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Gloomy Rube (?) » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:35 am

Are we expecting any goon refugees? Since lots of off-sites are getting them, has anyone like, tried to grab anyone fleeing the sinking ship? :v:
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Gloomy Rube
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I want you to be like a hamster please
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Re: Lowtax beats his SOs, eats overpriced cookies, and is generally problematic

Post by Gloomy Rube (?) » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:35 am

like we're angels of death swooping up their souls before they get taken by a demon running a pancake truck
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