Horse Laughs
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
- diribigal
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Re: Horse Laughs
I lost my broken magnifying glass outside. Now the plot has a loupe hole.
Plots have plot holes, not loopholes.
Plots have plot holes, not loopholes.
Very math.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don't vampires bet on horses?
They're afraid of the stakes.
They're afraid of the stakes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I’m making a documentary series about how to fly planes...I'm currently filming the pilot.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a place you go to buy evacuation equipment?
A flee market.
A flee market.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do river fish do when they need cash?
They go to the nearest bank.
They go to the nearest bank.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I just opened a deer cloning business...It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a chicken haunting your home?
A poultrygeist.
A poultrygeist.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards. I thought to myself, "That's just spam."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is it impossible to starve on the beach?
Because of the sand which is there.
Because of the sand which is there.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the huge sale they just had on canoes?
It was quite the oar deal.
It was quite the oar deal.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
There was a bad accident at the Air Force base...a jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I just saw my friend trip and fall over with the basket of clothes she just ironed.
I watched it all unfold.
I watched it all unfold.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My girlfriend gave me a steamed ball of dough filled with meat and veggies. I think she's dumpling me.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about that band called Peanut Brittle?
Oh, they broke up...
Oh, they broke up...
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of clothing do Karens wear?
A lawsuit.
A lawsuit.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common?
D'oh!
D'oh!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A bus full of musicians has broken down on the highway..police have said to expect some lengthy jams.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
Spike, this library is a mess! We ought to be ashamed of our shelves.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who can drink a gallon of gasoline and live?
Jerry can.
Jerry can.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the cub shy after taking his shirt off at the pool?
He was a little bare.
He was a little bare.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a gymnast put on their popcorn?
Sommer-salt.
Sommer-salt.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I used to bathe in tomato ketchup...In Heinz-sight, it wasn't the best idea.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the grass cross the road?
To get to the other sod.
To get to the other sod.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the pine trees that fought in the forest?
It was a pitched battle.
It was a pitched battle.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's a sheep's favourite musical instrument?
A ewekulele.
A ewekulele.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What was the snowman doing with his hand in a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
He was picking his nose.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championships.
It's on paperview.
It's on paperview.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
To the person who stole my glasses...I will find you, I have contacts!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call the top part of a dog house?
The woof.
The woof.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Never forget that you're someone's reason to smile...because you're a joke.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why wouldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll.
Because he was on a roll.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is Pac-Man’s favorite cooking utensil?
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok...
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok...
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about Dracula’s castle? They revamped it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered..."Swarm."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?
Skele Tons.
Skele Tons.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Octavia
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I saw someone at the grocery store who angrily stabbed a box of corn flakes, and the flakes went everywhere. The person was arrested for being a cereal killer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Apple software doesn't have bugs.
It has worms.
It has worms.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What brand of cereal is the strongest?
Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.
Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...and as you can see, they were Wright.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")