Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of movie did the boy and girl clock go to?
A tick flick.
A tick flick.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What job did the frog have at the hotel?
Bellhop.
Bellhop.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Have you heard about the fight in the fish and chip shop?
2 fish got battered.
2 fish got battered.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A man's wife left him for a tractor salesman. She wrote him a John Deere letter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one sock puppet say to another?
You look like you could use a hand.
You look like you could use a hand.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I saw a sign while driving yesterday that said "Watch for children"...what a good trade.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was Chewbacca so happy after his son's first baseball season?
He got Wookie of the year.
He got Wookie of the year.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today...should’ve used aloha temperature.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does an upset chef make food with?
Angrydients.
Angrydients.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Two slices of bread were competing to see who would stay fresh the longest...It ended in a stalemate.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who designed the round table of King Arthur?
Sir Cumference.
Sir Cumference.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Cutting down a tree with a block of cheese is easy...you just gotta make sure it's extra sharp.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead.
You go on ahead.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The doctor says I have to stop eating the skin of oranges...that was a bitter peel to swallow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How is working at McDonald’s like being an archaeologist in Athens?
Either way, you end up smelling like ancient grease.
Either way, you end up smelling like ancient grease.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I used to be a fortune teller but I was really bad at it as I could only predict really bad winter storms...turns out I was using a snow globe.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I said "I love you" to my cake. It burst into tiers.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a cardboard belt?
A waist of paper.
A waist of paper.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do Baby-Boomers always pay by check?
Because they hate change.
Because they hate change.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I found an LP of wasp noises. Played three tracks that sounded nothing like a wasp. Silly me. I was playing the bee side.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Got a really nice 3 foot ruler today...I bought it at a yard sale.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who is the leader of the corn army?
The kernal.
The kernal.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What rock group has 4 guys who don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I just invented a thought controlled air-freshener. It makes scents, if you think about it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you pick a pigs nose?
Ham boogers.
Ham boogers.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A magician goes to a fish market...the fishmonger says “pick a cod, any cod”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call an ox that’s gone gluten-free?
Silly yak.
Silly yak.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is the sun so smart?
It has a lot of degrees.
It has a lot of degrees.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My favourite 10+ year shirt got torn today. R.I.P.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a bunch of crows out camping?
Murder within tent.
Murder within tent.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth...now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
Data.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why does Darth Vader's breathing sound so angry?
He's just venting.
He's just venting.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s Darth Vader favourite measurement system?
The Imperial System.
The Imperial System.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one light bulb say to the other on Vaentine's Day?
"I love you a whole watt."
"I love you a whole watt."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses.
Ughs and kisses.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Businesses don't last very long on the moon.
They tend to wax and wane over time.
They tend to wax and wane over time.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I tossed and turned as I heard metallic sounds coming from the next bedroom...it was a restless knight.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A new Lego store opened up in my town...people were lined up for blocks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")