Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Costumes are very important for a ballerina. She keeps them in her special tulle box.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime!
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo?
Bread in captivity.
Bread in captivity.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call an everyday potato?
A commentator.
A commentator.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there, he said it was “Narnia Business”.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why should you never believe a clock?
Because all its information is second hand.
Because all its information is second hand.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of landscape gives the best compliments?
Plateaus, they’re good at flattery.
Plateaus, they’re good at flattery.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the lizard say he named his baby “Tiny?”
Because he’s my newt.
Because he’s my newt.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is the noisiest vegetable in the kitchen?
Snap peas.
Snap peas.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the birthday cake say to the bullies?
“You want a piece of me?”
“You want a piece of me?”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
It's amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talon-ted.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
SUPPLIES!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
Hoodini.
Hoodini.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
The pollen Count.
The pollen Count.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are A’s like flowers?
Because bees come after them.
Because bees come after them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
A coconut on vacation.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the broom late?
It over-swept!
It over-swept!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My wife said I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how I did that, I didn’t even KNOW it was her birthday!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
Finding half a worm.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
When the punchline is a parent.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Crows complain infrequently, and usually with just caws.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye.
Aye to aye.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Only if you aim it well enough.
Only if you aim it well enough.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the student bring scissors to school?
Because he wanted to cut class.
Because he wanted to cut class.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did people say when the Beatles broke up?
Ono.
Ono.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")