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Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2019 7:09 am
by PonyHag714
Image I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2019 9:23 pm
by Mechanical Ape
What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long?

A π-thon.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:21 am
by PonyHag714
Image Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Image Because they spend years at C.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:06 pm
by Mechanical Ape
:twiright: I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!
:speakest: You are the lawyer.
:twiright: Exactly, so where’s my present?

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:07 pm
by Mechanical Ape
:ponder: Just opened a weight-loss website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:09 pm
by Mechanical Ape
:cry: RIP boiled water.

You will be mist.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:12 pm
by Mechanical Ape
I hate snakes and worms because they have no feet.

You might say I’m lacktoes intolerant.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 4:12 pm
by DaikatunaRevengeance
dohoho

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 6:46 pm
by PonyHag714
:good:

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:33 pm
by Mechanical Ape
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

SUPPLIES!

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 7:38 pm
by Mechanical Ape
People who sell meat are gross, but people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 8:14 am
by PonyHag714
Image What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?

Image He gives them the sack.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2019 7:41 am
by PonyHag714
Image Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2019 8:00 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
:good:

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sun Dec 22, 2019 7:35 am
by PonyHag714
Image What do you call two witches who live together?

Image Broommates!

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 8:16 am
by PonyHag714
Image Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Image Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 8:03 am
by PonyHag714
Image What kind of camera does Santa use?

Image A North Pole-aroid!

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 7:30 am
by PonyHag714
Image Elves use what kind of money?

Image Jingle bills!

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 7:43 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
hah

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 7:11 am
by PonyHag714
Image Why don’t bananas snore?

Image Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:21 am
by PonyHag714
Image What does that sign say?

:maud: It dosen't say anything. You have to read it.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 2:37 pm
by Mechanical Ape
We saw a magician whose signature trick was turning audience members into windmills.

I immediately became a huge fan.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2019 8:40 am
by PonyHag714
Image What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?

Image Snap chat.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2019 8:06 am
by PonyHag714
Image How did the bird break into the house?

Image With a crow bar.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 7:29 am
by PonyHag714
Image How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown?

Image It was just about thyme.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 7:15 am
by PonyHag714
Image Did you hear that Dracula passed out at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

Image There was a count down.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2020 8:07 am
by PonyHag714
Image What do cows celebrate on December 31st?

Image Moo Years Eve.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 8:18 am
by PonyHag714
Image What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?

Image There’s mushroom for improvement.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 8:01 am
by PonyHag714
Image I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 7:53 am
by PonyHag714
Image My son came to visit for summer vacation.

Image Did you meet him at the airport?

Image Oh, no. I've known him for years.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 7:36 am
by PonyHag714
Image My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:25 am
by PonyHag714
Image Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:27 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
haha

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2020 7:18 am
by PonyHag714
Image What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

Image I find you very attractive.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2020 7:57 am
by PonyHag714
Image Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?

Image Because it was an early bird.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:30 am
by PonyHag714
Image What happens when fruits die?

Image They get berried!

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2020 8:42 am
by PonyHag714
Image How do you know a sailor isn’t ready for commitment?

Image They weren’t ready to tie the knot.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:05 am
by PonyHag714
Image What kind of orange juice do fiction writers like?

Image Pulpy.

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:05 am
by PonyHag714
Image What do you call a cute donut?

Image Adoughrable!

Re: Horse Laughs

Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2020 8:18 am
by PonyHag714
Image Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Image She thought he was too shallow.