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Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 7:42 am
by PonyHag714
I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?
A shadow.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:57 am
by PonyHag714
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 3:12 pm
by PonyHag714
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2020 7:17 am
by PonyHag714
Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2020 7:25 am
by PonyHag714
What did the doctor say at your checkup?
I have a bad case of the hives.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 7:39 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear they made an entire book about Teflon?
It has no frictional characters.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 8:05 am
by PonyHag714
What does a tea mama say to her kids?
“Goodnight, steep tight.”
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2020 7:52 am
by PonyHag714
Why can’t you blindfold a Pokemon?
Because it’s going to Pikachu!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 7:58 am
by PonyHag714
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen...I can feel it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:18 am
by PonyHag714
A courtroom artist was arrested today. The details are sketchy.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:22 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:28 am
by PonyHag714
This year in the toy department, drones are a big hit. They are literally flying off the shelves.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 8:28 am
by PonyHag714
Why didn't the Sun go to college?
Because it already has a million degrees!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2020 8:03 am
by PonyHag714
She didn't get along with the gardener. Too rough around the hedges.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 8:14 am
by PonyHag714
What do you do when you find Niacin and Thiamin at your front door?
You vitamin.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2020 7:49 am
by PonyHag714
When does a boat show affection?
When it hugs the shore.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2020 7:49 am
by PonyHag714
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2020 7:56 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
haha
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:23 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a potato with glasses?
A spec tater!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2020 7:14 am
by PonyHag714
There's a special at the magic shop. Buy wand, get wand free.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2020 7:47 am
by PonyHag714
I'm an archaeologist and my life is in ruins.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2020 7:59 am
by PonyHag714
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:22 am
by PonyHag714
I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2020 6:22 pm
by ToastGhost
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:08 am
by PonyHag714
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and got a ticket for littering.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:13 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 7:32 am
by PonyHag714
Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:22 am
by PonyHag714
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 7:21 am
by PonyHag714
The butcher walked backwards into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:32 am
by PonyHag714
That arsonist destroyed all my scissors. Shear torcher!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:40 am
by PonyHag714
How do you comfort a grammar fanatic?
Their, they're, there.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 8:17 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
hjkgfsdf
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:46 am
by PonyHag714
I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:54 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo? It was bread in captivity.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:14 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance
haha
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:18 am
by PonyHag714
What was the retired dentist's favorite card game?
Bridge.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:19 am
by PonyHag714
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 8:16 am
by PonyHag714
You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:20 am
by Princess Flufflebutt
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 20, 2020 8:16 am
You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:26 am
by DaikatunaRevengeance