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Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2020 8:04 am
by diribigal
I lost my broken magnifying glass outside. Now the plot has a loupe hole.
Plots have plot holes, not loopholes.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2020 11:03 am
by PonyHag714
Why don't vampires bet on horses?
They're afraid of the stakes.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2020 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
I’m making a documentary series about how to fly planes...I'm currently filming the pilot.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2020 11:13 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a place you go to buy evacuation equipment?
A flee market.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:38 am
by PonyHag714
What do river fish do when they need cash?
They go to the nearest bank.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2020 11:19 am
by PonyHag714
I just opened a deer cloning business...It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a chicken haunting your home?
A poultrygeist.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:11 pm
by PonyHag714
Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards. I thought to myself, "That's just spam."
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2020 11:39 am
by PonyHag714
Why is it impossible to starve on the beach?
Because of the sand which is there.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2020 11:31 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the huge sale they just had on canoes?
It was quite the oar deal.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2020 12:25 pm
by PonyHag714
There was a bad accident at the Air Force base...a jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2020 11:42 am
by PonyHag714
I just saw my friend trip and fall over with the basket of clothes she just ironed.
I watched it all unfold.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:24 am
by PonyHag714
My girlfriend gave me a steamed ball of dough filled with meat and veggies. I think she's dumpling me.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 11:36 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about that band called Peanut Brittle?
Oh, they broke up...
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
What kind of clothing do Karens wear?
A lawsuit.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2020 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common?
D'oh!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2020 11:53 am
by PonyHag714
A bus full of musicians has broken down on the highway..police have said to expect some lengthy jams.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2020 4:38 pm
by Mechanical Ape
Spike, this library is a mess! We ought to be ashamed of our shelves.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2020 11:28 am
by PonyHag714
Who can drink a gallon of gasoline and live?
Jerry can.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2020 11:24 am
by PonyHag714
Why was the cub shy after taking his shirt off at the pool?
He was a little bare.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2020 11:41 am
by PonyHag714
What does a gymnast put on their popcorn?
Sommer-salt.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2020 11:22 am
by PonyHag714
I used to bathe in tomato ketchup...In Heinz-sight, it wasn't the best idea.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:30 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the grass cross the road?
To get to the other sod.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2020 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the pine trees that fought in the forest?
It was a pitched battle.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2020 11:24 am
by PonyHag714
What's a sheep's favourite musical instrument?
A ewekulele.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2020 11:29 am
by PonyHag714
What was the snowman doing with his hand in a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2020 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championships.
It's on paperview.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2020 11:29 am
by PonyHag714
To the person who stole my glasses...I will find you, I have contacts!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:47 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call the top part of a dog house?
The woof.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:50 am
by PonyHag714
Never forget that you're someone's reason to smile...because you're a joke.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 11:47 am
by PonyHag714
Why wouldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2020 11:27 am
by PonyHag714
What is Pac-Man’s favorite cooking utensil?
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok...
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:40 pm
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about Dracula’s castle? They revamped it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:13 am
by PonyHag714
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered..."Swarm."
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2020 12:11 pm
by PonyHag714
What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?
Skele Tons.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2020 12:19 pm
by Octavia
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2020 11:19 am
by PonyHag714
I saw someone at the grocery store who angrily stabbed a box of corn flakes, and the flakes went everywhere. The person was arrested for being a cereal killer.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:50 am
by PonyHag714
Apple software doesn't have bugs.
It has worms.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:24 am
by PonyHag714
What brand of cereal is the strongest?
Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 11:24 am
by PonyHag714
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...and as you can see, they were Wright.