The Round Stable

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2020 8:04 am**

I lost my broken magnifying glass outside. Now the plot has a loupe hole.

Plots have plot holes, not loopholes.

Posted: **Thu Sep 10, 2020 11:03 am**

Why don't vampires bet on horses?

They're afraid of the stakes.

Posted: **Fri Sep 11, 2020 10:42 am**

I’m making a documentary series about how to fly planes...I'm currently filming the pilot.

Posted: **Sat Sep 12, 2020 11:13 am**

What do you call a place you go to buy evacuation equipment?

A flee market.

Posted: **Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:38 am**

What do river fish do when they need cash?

They go to the nearest bank.

Posted: **Mon Sep 14, 2020 11:19 am**

I just opened a deer cloning business...It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

Posted: **Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:47 am**

What do you call a chicken haunting your home?

A poultrygeist.

Posted: **Wed Sep 16, 2020 12:11 pm**

Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards. I thought to myself, "That's just spam."

Posted: **Thu Sep 17, 2020 11:39 am**

Why is it impossible to starve on the beach?

Because of the sand which is there.

Posted: **Fri Sep 18, 2020 11:31 am**

Did you hear about the huge sale they just had on canoes?

It was quite the oar deal.

Posted: **Sat Sep 19, 2020 12:25 pm**

There was a bad accident at the Air Force base...a jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.

Posted: **Sun Sep 20, 2020 11:42 am**

I just saw my friend trip and fall over with the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

Posted: **Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:24 am**

My girlfriend gave me a steamed ball of dough filled with meat and veggies. I think she's dumpling me.

Posted: **Tue Sep 22, 2020 11:36 am**

Did you hear about that band called Peanut Brittle?

Oh, they broke up...

Posted: **Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:40 am**

What kind of clothing do Karens wear?

A lawsuit.

Posted: **Thu Sep 24, 2020 11:32 am**

What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common?

D'oh!

Posted: **Fri Sep 25, 2020 11:53 am**

A bus full of musicians has broken down on the highway..police have said to expect some lengthy jams.

Posted: **Fri Sep 25, 2020 4:38 pm**

Spike, this library is a mess! We ought to be ashamed of our shelves.

Posted: **Sat Sep 26, 2020 11:28 am**

Who can drink a gallon of gasoline and live?

Jerry can.

Posted: **Sun Sep 27, 2020 11:24 am**

Why was the cub shy after taking his shirt off at the pool?

He was a little bare.

Posted: **Mon Sep 28, 2020 11:41 am**

What does a gymnast put on their popcorn?

Sommer-salt.

Posted: **Tue Sep 29, 2020 11:22 am**

I used to bathe in tomato ketchup...In Heinz-sight, it wasn't the best idea.

Posted: **Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:30 am**

Why did the grass cross the road?

To get to the other sod.

Posted: **Thu Oct 01, 2020 11:32 am**

Did you hear about the pine trees that fought in the forest?

It was a pitched battle.

Posted: **Fri Oct 02, 2020 11:24 am**

What's a sheep's favourite musical instrument?

A ewekulele.

Posted: **Sat Oct 03, 2020 11:29 am**

What was the snowman doing with his hand in a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

Posted: **Sun Oct 04, 2020 11:32 am**

With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championships.

It's on paperview.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2020 11:29 am**

To the person who stole my glasses...I will find you, I have contacts!

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:47 am**

What do you call the top part of a dog house?

The woof.

Posted: **Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:50 am**

Never forget that you're someone's reason to smile...because you're a joke.

Posted: **Thu Oct 08, 2020 11:47 am**

Why wouldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?

Because he was on a roll.

Posted: **Fri Oct 09, 2020 11:27 am**

What is Pac-Man’s favorite cooking utensil?

A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok...

Posted: **Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:40 pm**

Did you hear about Dracula’s castle? They revamped it.

Posted: **Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:13 am**

My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered..."Swarm."

Posted: **Mon Oct 12, 2020 12:11 pm**

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

Skele Tons.

Posted: **Mon Oct 12, 2020 12:19 pm**

Posted: **Tue Oct 13, 2020 11:19 am**

I saw someone at the grocery store who angrily stabbed a box of corn flakes, and the flakes went everywhere. The person was arrested for being a cereal killer.

Posted: **Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:50 am**

Apple software doesn't have bugs.

It has worms.

Posted: **Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:24 am**

What brand of cereal is the strongest?

Mini Wheats, because they’re shredded.

Posted: **Fri Oct 16, 2020 11:24 am**

A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...and as you can see, they were Wright.

The Round Stable

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