Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call an educated tube?
A graduated cylinder.
A graduated cylinder.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Being half man and half horse, he enjoyed being the centaur of attention.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is the difference between a nicely dressed mare on a tricycle and a poorly dressed mare on a bicycle?
A tire.
A tire.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?
They spruce themselves up.
They spruce themselves up.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the old lady make a ton of fish-eye soup?
Because it would see her through the week.
Because it would see her through the week.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call friends you meet at culinary school?
Taste buds!
Taste buds!
Last edited by PonyHag714 on Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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Madeline
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Re: Horse Laughs
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:53 amWhat do you call friends you meet at culinary school?
Taste buds!
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
With invisible oink!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Breyer’s remorse.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of music do ghosts like best?
Sheet music.
Sheet music.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are pickles so calm?
Whatever happens, they dill with it.
Whatever happens, they dill with it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- diribigal
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Re: Horse Laughs
But they wouldn't write public messages with regular oinks, they'd use their hooves. And all oinks are already invisible under normal circumstances. And they don't write messages. And invisible oinks isn't good security since you could just analyze the sound. And inaudible oinks wouldn't be much better as you could still detect it with the right microphone. Someone needs to teach these pigs about the limitations of security through obscurity. Call me when they're doing a Muddy-Hogman Key Exhange to transmit tons of MBs (massively big swine).PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:25 amHow do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Very math.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house?
She was having a bad hare day.
She was having a bad hare day.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
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- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I asked a pony if she had a dollar. She said “No, but I have fore quarters.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My girlfriend thought I’d never be able to make a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
Put lox on it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
He couldn’t stream the video.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
She’s definitely plotting something.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
An amoeba named Max and his brother
Were sharing a drink with each other
In the midst of their quaffing
They split themselves laughing
And each of them now is a mother
Were sharing a drink with each other
In the midst of their quaffing
They split themselves laughing
And each of them now is a mother
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do ponies keep asking Celestia to measure things?
Because she's the ruler of Equestria.
Because she's the ruler of Equestria.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the robbery at the Apple Store?
The police are looking for iWitnesses.
The police are looking for iWitnesses.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?
Timber.
Timber.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.
They come out at night.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
Because they cantaloupe!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My friend keeps saying "Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know she means well.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- ToastGhost
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Doctor, I keep seeing an insect buzzing around me.
Don’t worry; that’s just a bug that’s going around.
Don’t worry; that’s just a bug that’s going around.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My friend keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter, but I'm on a roll now.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.
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- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?
Tenants.
Tenants.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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