Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends. (Shenanigans!)
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Aug 29, 2019 8:09 am

What do you call an educated tube?

A graduated cylinder.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Aug 30, 2019 8:30 am

Being half man and half horse, he enjoyed being the centaur of attention.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Aug 31, 2019 9:00 am

What is the difference between a nicely dressed mare on a tricycle and a poorly dressed mare on a bicycle?

A tire.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Sep 01, 2019 8:42 am

How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?

They spruce themselves up.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:42 am

Why did the old lady make a ton of fish-eye soup?

Because it would see her through the week.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:53 am

What do you call friends you meet at culinary school?

Taste buds!
Last edited by
PonyHag714 on Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Madeline
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by Madeline (?) » Tue Sep 03, 2019 9:01 am
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:53 am

What do you call friends you meet at culinary school?

Taste buds!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:25 am

How do pigs write top secret messages?

With invisible oink!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:27 am

What happens when you buy too much ice cream?

Breyer’s remorse.

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Mechanical Ape
I'm cheerful as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!
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by Mechanical Ape (?) » Thu Sep 05, 2019 11:02 pm

What kind of music do ghosts like best?

Sheet music.
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:10 am

Why are pickles so calm?

Whatever happens, they dill with it.

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diribigal

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by diribigal (?) » Fri Sep 06, 2019 11:39 am
PonyHag714 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:25 am

How do pigs write top secret messages?

With invisible oink!
But they wouldn't write public messages with regular oinks, they'd use their hooves. And all oinks are already invisible under normal circumstances. And they don't write messages. And invisible oinks isn't good security since you could just analyze the sound. And inaudible oinks wouldn't be much better as you could still detect it with the right microphone. Someone needs to teach these pigs about the limitations of security through obscurity. Call me when they're doing a Muddy-Hogman Key Exhange to transmit tons of MBs (massively big swine).
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Sep 07, 2019 7:31 am

Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house?

She was having a bad hare day.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:51 am

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Sep 09, 2019 7:36 am

I asked a pony if she had a dollar. She said “No, but I have fore quarters.”

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Sep 10, 2019 8:15 am

My girlfriend thought I’d never be able to make a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:35 am

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?

Put lox on it.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:27 am

Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?

He couldn’t stream the video.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:10 am

I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:47 am

Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?

She’s definitely plotting something.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Sep 15, 2019 8:36 am

An amoeba named Max and his brother
Were sharing a drink with each other
In the midst of their quaffing
They split themselves laughing
And each of them now is a mother

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:44 am

Why do ponies keep asking Celestia to measure things?

Because she's the ruler of Equestria.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Sep 17, 2019 8:27 am

Did you hear about the robbery at the Apple Store?

The police are looking for iWitnesses.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Sep 18, 2019 9:04 am

What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?

Timber.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Sep 19, 2019 9:11 am

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:17 am

Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:22 am

My friend keeps saying "Cheer up, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know she means well.

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ToastGhost
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by ToastGhost (?) » Sat Sep 21, 2019 12:19 pm
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Sep 22, 2019 8:25 am

Doctor, I keep seeing an insect buzzing around me.

Don’t worry; that’s just a bug that’s going around.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Sep 23, 2019 8:25 am

My friend keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter, but I'm on a roll now.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Sep 24, 2019 7:59 am

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Sep 25, 2019 8:19 am

How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?

Tenants.

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