Horse Laughs
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long?
A π-thon.
A π-thon.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C.
Because they spend years at C.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!
You are the lawyer.
Exactly, so where’s my present?
You are the lawyer.
Exactly, so where’s my present?
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
Just opened a weight-loss website and it asked me if I accept cookies.
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
You will be mist.
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
I hate snakes and worms because they have no feet.
You might say I’m lacktoes intolerant.
You might say I’m lacktoes intolerant.
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
SUPPLIES!
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
People who sell meat are gross, but people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack.
He gives them the sack.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call two witches who live together?
Broommates!
Broommates!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.
Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of camera does Santa use?
A North Pole-aroid!
A North Pole-aroid!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Elves use what kind of money?
Jingle bills!
Jingle bills!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don’t bananas snore?
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does that sign say?
It dosen't say anything. You have to read it.
It dosen't say anything. You have to read it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
We saw a magician whose signature trick was turning audience members into windmills.
I immediately became a huge fan.
I immediately became a huge fan.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
Snap chat.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did the bird break into the house?
With a crow bar.
With a crow bar.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown?
It was just about thyme.
It was just about thyme.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear that Dracula passed out at midnight on New Year’s Eve?
There was a count down.
There was a count down.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do cows celebrate on December 31st?
Moo Years Eve.
Moo Years Eve.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
There’s mushroom for improvement.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My son came to visit for summer vacation.
Did you meet him at the airport?
Oh, no. I've known him for years.
Did you meet him at the airport?
Oh, no. I've known him for years.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
I find you very attractive.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird.
Because it was an early bird.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happens when fruits die?
They get berried!
They get berried!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you know a sailor isn’t ready for commitment?
They weren’t ready to tie the knot.
They weren’t ready to tie the knot.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of orange juice do fiction writers like?
Pulpy.
Pulpy.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a cute donut?
Adoughrable!
Adoughrable!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
She thought he was too shallow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")