Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends. (Shenanigans!)
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Feb 18, 2020 7:42 am

I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?

A shadow.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:57 am

What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?

Let’s grow mold together.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Feb 20, 2020 3:12 pm

Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Feb 21, 2020 7:17 am

Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Feb 22, 2020 7:25 am

What did the doctor say at your checkup?

I have a bad case of the hives.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Feb 23, 2020 7:39 am

Did you hear they made an entire book about Teflon?

It has no frictional characters.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Feb 24, 2020 8:05 am

What does a tea mama say to her kids?

“Goodnight, steep tight.”

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Feb 25, 2020 7:52 am

Why can’t you blindfold a Pokemon?

Because it’s going to Pikachu!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Feb 26, 2020 7:58 am

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen...I can feel it.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:18 am

A courtroom artist was arrested today. The details are sketchy.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:28 am

This year in the toy department, drones are a big hit. They are literally flying off the shelves.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Feb 29, 2020 8:28 am

Why didn't the Sun go to college?

Because it already has a million degrees!

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Mar 01, 2020 8:03 am

She didn't get along with the gardener. Too rough around the hedges.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Mar 02, 2020 8:14 am

What do you do when you find Niacin and Thiamin at your front door?

You vitamin.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Mar 03, 2020 7:49 am

When does a boat show affection?

When it hugs the shore.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Mar 04, 2020 7:49 am

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Mar 05, 2020 7:23 am

What do you call a potato with glasses?

A spec tater!

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Mar 06, 2020 7:14 am

There's a special at the magic shop. Buy wand, get wand free.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Mar 07, 2020 7:47 am

I'm an archaeologist and my life is in ruins.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Mar 08, 2020 7:59 am

If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:22 am

I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?

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ToastGhost
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by ToastGhost (?) » Mon Mar 09, 2020 6:22 pm
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:08 am

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and got a ticket for littering.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Mar 11, 2020 7:32 am

Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?

Because she mislaid them.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Mar 12, 2020 8:22 am

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Mar 13, 2020 7:21 am

The butcher walked backwards into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:32 am

That arsonist destroyed all my scissors. Shear torcher!

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:40 am

How do you comfort a grammar fanatic?

Their, they're, there.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:46 am

I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:54 am

Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo? It was bread in captivity.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:18 am

What was the retired dentist's favorite card game?

Bridge.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:19 am

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Mar 20, 2020 8:16 am

You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well.

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