Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a metal frog say?
Rivet.
Rivet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
For Sale: Dead Bird
Won't go cheep.
Won't go cheep.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the 100 legged bug spin around in circles before attacking its prey?
To gain centipedal force.
To gain centipedal force.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the tennis shoe walk away quietly?
It was a sneaker.
It was a sneaker.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a witch's car sound like?
BROOM BROOM
BROOM BROOM
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of ice cream goes in a bird bath?
Bask’n Robins.
Bask’n Robins.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.
When the punchline becomes apparent.
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
Hi there, can I have a cheeseburger with fries?
Sir, this is a library.
Oh, sorry. Can I have a cheeseburger with fries?
Sir, this is a library.
Oh, sorry. Can I have a cheeseburger with fries?
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
Scientists have determined the mass of rainbows. Turns out they’re pretty light.
- Mechanical Ape
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Re: Horse Laughs
Bartender says “We don’t serve time travelers here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do toy stores keep the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures?
Aisle B, back.
Aisle B, back.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the seal with a cast say to the shark?
Do not consume if seal is broken.
Do not consume if seal is broken.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Medusa is the best drug dealer...one look and you're stoned.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My wife said to put a baby monitor in the crib with our son...but I don't think lizards make very good pets for babies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What has 13 hearts but no organs?
A deck of cards.
A deck of cards.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Apparently sharks can grow up to 30 feet.
I thought they were called fins.
I thought they were called fins.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug?
She’s going to have her baby in the spring.
She’s going to have her baby in the spring.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do a school and a plant have in common?
STEM.
STEM.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It’s like tennis but without the racket.
It’s like tennis but without the racket.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
June bugs.
June bugs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Your mama so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush.
They always get a flush.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the nose say to the finger?
Quit picking on me!
Quit picking on me!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
A coconut on vacation.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do lazy farmers grow?
Couch potatoes.
Couch potatoes.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I visited the National Air and Space Museum...I believe the title is misleading because it's actually full of stuff.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a rabbit working in a hotel?
A bell hop.
A bell hop.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a zombie making stir-fry?
Dead man woking.
Dead man woking.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
I’d be muffin without you.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the best part of a pirate song?
The hook.
The hook.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do sheep get their hair cut?
The baa baa shop.
The baa baa shop.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
'Cause you shouldn't press your luck.
'Cause you shouldn't press your luck.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do baseball and baking a cake have in common?
It's all about the batter.
It's all about the batter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A cement truck smashed into a prison van...police are telling people to be on the lookout for 8 hardened criminals.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant...What's on the outside?
K9P.
K9P.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")