Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests?
By saying, "Seasoning’s greetings!"
By saying, "Seasoning’s greetings!"
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.
Nothing. It was on the house.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee.
“A sore knee?” the doctor said. “Have you tried icing it?”
“A sore knee?” the doctor said. “Have you tried icing it?”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
"But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!"
"But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!"
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band?
The Who!
The Who!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
What?
Baaaa humbug!
What?
Baaaa humbug!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane.
A sad candy cane.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
Because it soots him.
Because it soots him.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Why didn't Rudolph get a good report card?
Because he went down in history.
Because he went down in history.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you wash your hands over the holiday?
With Santatizer.
With Santatizer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
On Christmas Eve, when Santa leaves his workshop at the North Pole, what direction does he travel?
The only way to travel from the North Pole is south.
The only way to travel from the North Pole is south.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What do grapes sing at Christmas?
'Tis the season to be jelly.
'Tis the season to be jelly.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you know Santa is in charge at the North Pole?
He always has the final sleigh.
He always has the final sleigh.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What’s St. Nicholas’s favourite measurement in the metric system?
The Santameter!
The Santameter!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Why was the snowman embarrassed when he was spotted rummaging through a bag of carrots?
He was caught picking his nose.
He was caught picking his nose.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Where do reindeer go for coffee?
Star-bucks!
Star-bucks!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
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- PonyHag714
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What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A cariboo.
A cariboo.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The Ghost of Christmas passed.
The Ghost of Christmas passed.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
This turkey tastes like an old sofa...
Well, I thought you liked stuffing!
Well, I thought you liked stuffing!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Where do elves go to vote?
The north poll.
The north poll.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Elves use what kind of money?
Jingle bills!
Jingle bills!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What color Christmas candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither – candles always burn shorter.
Neither – candles always burn shorter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
A mince spy!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop thier needles.
They always drop thier needles.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Santa Jaws!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What’s Santa’s go-to doughnut order?
A jolly-filled doughnut.
A jolly-filled doughnut.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?
Pines and needles!
Pines and needles!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What did Rudolph tell the elf when he got to drive the sleigh?
Hold on for deer life!
Hold on for deer life!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My New Year’s resolution is to be more assertive, if that’s ok with you guys?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What was the caterpillar's New Year's resolution?
To turn over a new leaf.
To turn over a new leaf.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus?
No one is awake to see either of them.
No one is awake to see either of them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year's Eve.
One was charged and the other was let off.
One was charged and the other was let off.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What was Dr. Frankenstein’s New Year’s resolution?
To make new friends.
To make new friends.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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My New Year's resolution is to procrastinate. I'll start tomorrow.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?
You’ll spill your punch all over.
You’ll spill your punch all over.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Bubble 07.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
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Re: Horse Laughs
So, is the doctor gonna restrict my diet?
No, but his bill will.
No, but his bill will.