Horse Laughs
Moderator: Fizzbuzz
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Horse Laughs
Spike, didn’t you promise to dust the foyer?
Uh oh. Yeah, I did.
And didn’t I promise to ground you if it wasn’t done?
Yes, but since I didn’t keep my promise, I won’t hold you to yours.
Uh oh. Yeah, I did.
And didn’t I promise to ground you if it wasn’t done?
Yes, but since I didn’t keep my promise, I won’t hold you to yours.
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Horse Laughs
Hey sis, you think you’re strong? I bet I can push something into town in a wheelbarrow and you can’t push it back!
Bet accepted, sugarcube! This oughta be good. Here’s your wheelbarrow.
Okay, now get in.
Bet accepted, sugarcube! This oughta be good. Here’s your wheelbarrow.
Okay, now get in.
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?
Guilty as charged.
Guilty as charged.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn't Thor go to the party with his brother?
Because it was too Loki for his taste.
Because it was too Loki for his taste.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
How much did it cost the Miami Heat to lose their spot in the 2021 NBA playoffs?
10-15 Bucks.
10-15 Bucks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
- Posts: 582
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:23 pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Horse Laughs
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
She looked surprised.
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
A skeleton lost his funny bone.
It was quite humerus.
It was quite humerus.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What does Big Foot keep time with?
His sasqwatch.
His sasqwatch.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
A bus full of jazz musicians has broken down on the highway, blocking all lanes.
Police say to expect some long jams.
Police say to expect some long jams.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:28 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: FLAVATOWN
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I bought a knife than can cut through four loaves of bread at once...it’s a four loaf cleaver.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I'm so mad! I found out my grandfather clock is full of bugs.
I guess it's like they say, time flies.
I guess it's like they say, time flies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Guy was giving away free marionette dolls...no strings attached.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language.
We call him the Village Idiom.
We call him the Village Idiom.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I was boiling some noodles until the pot suddenly began to float.
Needless to say, it was soup rising.
Needless to say, it was soup rising.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the big fight last night at the Long John Silvers drive-thru?
Battered fish were everywhere.
Battered fish were everywhere.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can't believe it's not better.
I can't believe it's not better.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:28 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: FLAVATOWN
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why do birds always congregate on power wires?
So they can hang out with their friends online.
So they can hang out with their friends online.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick?
Cause he wanted to join the Maple Leafs.
Cause he wanted to join the Maple Leafs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
How did the vegetable politely ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.”
“Peas be my Valentine.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...that's just spam.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the cat stop moving as soon as it stood up?
Because it was on paws.
Because it was on paws.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What happens when you take away half of a person's IQ?
They become "Q".
They become "Q".
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you a whole watt.”
“I love you a whole watt.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day?
Her heart wasn’t in it.
Her heart wasn’t in it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.
Hogs and kisses.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What did one pickle say to another?
You mean a great dill to me!
You mean a great dill to me!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"There's so mushroom in my heart for you!"
"There's so mushroom in my heart for you!"
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
A police officer came across a pair of boys eating fireworks and batteries.
He decided to charge one and let the other off.
He decided to charge one and let the other off.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
How does a witch style her hair?
She uses scare spray.
She uses scare spray.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Have you heard about Gucci's new line of baby clothes?
Gucci-goo.
Gucci-goo.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Why do melons have to get married in churches?
Because they cantaloupe.
Because they cantaloupe.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem?
She was taken for granite.
She was taken for granite.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?
The bleach boys.
The bleach boys.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill?
A lambslide.
A lambslide.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:28 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: FLAVATOWN
- PonyHag714
- Here comes the helmet!
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:14 pm
- Contact:
Re: Horse Laughs
The coolest thing about my new Porsche is that it lets me know when the rear wing is raised.
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- DaikatunaRevengeance
- Posts: 334
- Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:28 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: FLAVATOWN