Horse Laughs

Mechanical Ape · Post by **Mechanical Ape** (?) » Sun Jan 02, 2022 9:42 pm

Spike, didn’t you promise to dust the foyer?

Uh oh. Yeah, I did.

And didn’t I promise to ground you if it wasn’t done?

Yes, but since I didn’t keep my promise, I won’t hold you to yours.

Mechanical Ape · Post by **Mechanical Ape** (?) » Sun Jan 02, 2022 9:50 pm

Hey sis, you think you’re strong? I bet I can push something into town in a wheelbarrow and you can’t push it back!

Bet accepted, sugarcube! This oughta be good. Here’s your wheelbarrow.

Okay, now get in.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Jan 03, 2022 10:49 am

So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?

Guilty as charged.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Jan 04, 2022 10:51 am

Why didn't Thor go to the party with his brother?

Because it was too Loki for his taste.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Jan 05, 2022 10:43 am

How much did it cost the Miami Heat to lose their spot in the 2021 NBA playoffs?

10-15 Bucks.

Mechanical Ape · Post by **Mechanical Ape** (?) » Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:39 am

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Jan 07, 2022 2:18 am

A skeleton lost his funny bone.

It was quite humerus.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Jan 08, 2022 2:05 pm

What does Big Foot keep time with?

His sasqwatch.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Jan 09, 2022 12:59 pm

A bus full of jazz musicians has broken down on the highway, blocking all lanes.

Police say to expect some long jams.

DaikatunaRevengeance · Post by **DaikatunaRevengeance** (?) » Sun Jan 09, 2022 7:46 pm

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Jan 10, 2022 10:48 am

I bought a knife than can cut through four loaves of bread at once...it’s a four loaf cleaver.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:47 am

I'm so mad! I found out my grandfather clock is full of bugs.

I guess it's like they say, time flies.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Jan 13, 2022 2:07 am

Guy was giving away free marionette dolls...no strings attached.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Jan 13, 2022 10:41 am

There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language.

We call him the Village Idiom.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Jan 14, 2022 10:51 am

I was boiling some noodles until the pot suddenly began to float.

Needless to say, it was soup rising.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Jan 15, 2022 12:43 pm

Did you hear about the big fight last night at the Long John Silvers drive-thru?

Battered fish were everywhere.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Jan 16, 2022 1:40 pm

A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can't believe it's not better.

DaikatunaRevengeance · Post by **DaikatunaRevengeance** (?) » Sun Jan 16, 2022 1:49 pm

dohoho

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:42 am

Why do birds always congregate on power wires?

So they can hang out with their friends online.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Jan 18, 2022 10:42 am

Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick?

Cause he wanted to join the Maple Leafs.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Jan 19, 2022 10:46 am

I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:50 am

How did the vegetable politely ask for a date?

“Peas be my Valentine.”

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:46 am

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...that's just spam.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Jan 22, 2022 12:53 pm

Why did the cat stop moving as soon as it stood up?

Because it was on paws.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Jan 24, 2022 10:46 am

What happens when you take away half of a person's IQ?

They become "Q".

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Jan 25, 2022 10:47 am

What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

“I love you a whole watt.”

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Jan 26, 2022 10:45 am

Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day?

Her heart wasn’t in it.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:48 am

What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

Hogs and kisses.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:50 am

What did one pickle say to another?

You mean a great dill to me!

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Jan 29, 2022 11:56 am

What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine's Day?

"There's so mushroom in my heart for you!"

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Jan 30, 2022 1:24 pm

A police officer came across a pair of boys eating fireworks and batteries.

He decided to charge one and let the other off.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Mon Jan 31, 2022 10:47 am

How does a witch style her hair?

She uses scare spray.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Tue Feb 01, 2022 10:51 am

Have you heard about Gucci's new line of baby clothes?

Gucci-goo.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Wed Feb 02, 2022 12:44 pm

Why do melons have to get married in churches?

Because they cantaloupe.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Thu Feb 03, 2022 10:44 am

Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem?

She was taken for granite.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Fri Feb 04, 2022 10:52 am

What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?

The bleach boys.

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sat Feb 05, 2022 12:26 pm

What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill?

A lambslide.

DaikatunaRevengeance · Post by **DaikatunaRevengeance** (?) » Sat Feb 05, 2022 12:36 pm

PonyHag714 · Post by **PonyHag714** (?) » Sun Feb 06, 2022 1:31 pm

The coolest thing about my new Porsche is that it lets me know when the rear wing is raised.

Spoiler alert.

DaikatunaRevengeance · Post by **DaikatunaRevengeance** (?) » Sun Feb 06, 2022 1:32 pm