Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle.
The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.
The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
They lived hoppily ever after.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a droid that always takes the longest route?
R2 Detour.
R2 Detour.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I met a guy who cross-bred insects...
...he was all right at first, but I soon got tired of his ant-ticks.
...he was all right at first, but I soon got tired of his ant-ticks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA...the cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Fun fact: members of the equine family can send messages to each other by stamping the ground in distinct patterns.
It's their Horse Code.
It's their Horse Code.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My brother is so dumb he got fired from the Dollar store...because he couldn't remember the prices.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the pirate's law for equitable retribution?
An Aye for an Aye.
An Aye for an Aye.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's a spider's favorite fast food item?
French Flies.
French Flies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
A pan-duh!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
He went to see Closed for the Winter.
He went to see Closed for the Winter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to eating salt?
Don't worry, he was cured.
Don't worry, he was cured.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Forwards, it’s heavy. Backwards, it’s not. What is it?
A ton.
A ton.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Which fast food chain would be a good basketball player?
Dunkin' Donuts.
Dunkin' Donuts.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a hen looking at lettuce?
A chicken sees her salad.
A chicken sees her salad.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- everything's a little bit weird now
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Re: Horse Laughs
I'm trying to get a job in the moisturizer industry. Any advice?
Apply daily.
Apply daily.
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of...
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What remains stationary no matter how hard you push it?
An envelope.
An envelope.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My friend said he couldn't pay his water bill...so I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Bono and the Edge walk into a bar, the barman looks up and says not U2 again.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.
It's Tangled and Frozen.
It's Tangled and Frozen.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production...I had to bale him out.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I bought a warehouse full of soup stock...now I'm a bouillonaire.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains."
"Pull yourself together, man!" replies the doctor.
"Pull yourself together, man!" replies the doctor.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a dog serving on a submarine?
A subwoofer.
A subwoofer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is Canada’s national board game?
Sorry.
Sorry.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear that they're broadcasting the World Origami Championships?
It's on paper-view.
It's on paper-view.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you tell who at the playground plays the trombone?
They can't swing and are always complaining about the slide.
They can't swing and are always complaining about the slide.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I heard the government is going to put chips in our brain.
I want sour cream and onion.
I want sour cream and onion.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Little Red Riding Hood was involved in an accident.
Paramedics are on the scene but she's not out of the woods yet.
Paramedics are on the scene but she's not out of the woods yet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the capillary love to look at himself in the mirror?
He was a little vein.
He was a little vein.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school...never to be heard from again.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call two birds stuck together?
Velcrows.
Velcrows.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is a carpenters favorite band?
Nine inch nails.
Nine inch nails.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What social media does Captain hook hate?
Tik-tok.
Tik-tok.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I answered my front door this morning and was punched in the face by a 5 foot tall beetle.
That must have been the nasty bug that's going around.
That must have been the nasty bug that's going around.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I used to be in a band called Boomerang...we’re about to have a big comeback.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of crazy creature do you get when you mix a yak and a lion?
A maney-yak.
A maney-yak.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you say when your English teacher is crying?
"There, their, they're".
"There, their, they're".
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
That's just how I roll.
That's just how I roll.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")