Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?
A barberqueue.
A barberqueue.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
It was given two consecutive sentences.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the bug imprisoned in a bottle of perfume say?
I’m in-a-scent!
I’m in-a-scent!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the proud pirate dad say after seeing his son torch an enemy ship?
Arr, son.
Arr, son.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why couldn't Cleopatra accept Mark Anthony's death?
She was the queen of denial.
She was the queen of denial.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the boomer have a no coins policy in his store?
He couldn’t tolerate change.
He couldn’t tolerate change.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear they just opened the worlds largest Lego store in Las Vegas?
People are lining up for blocks.
People are lining up for blocks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are archers good at building planes?
Because they're experts in arrow dynamics.
Because they're experts in arrow dynamics.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I was slightly surprised to learn that dogs' tongues are smooth...I thought they'd be ruff.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What kind of sandals do frogs wear?
Open toad.
Open toad.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is it called when you give money to a plains bison?
A buffaloan!
A buffaloan!
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Orion's belt is a huge waste of space.
Terrible joke, only three stars.
Terrible joke, only three stars.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
When I was a kid, my family used to move a lot...but I always found them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's a hyena's favorite cookie?
Snickerdoodle.
Snickerdoodle.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I visited the Air and Space Museum...but there was nothing there.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why can't Medusa find a lover?
Because everyone she meets has a heart of stone.
Because everyone she meets has a heart of stone.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
So how is the new Looney Tunes video game?
I don't like it, it has a lot of bugs.
I don't like it, it has a lot of bugs.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does a tree get on the internet?
It logs on.
It logs on.
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Just had an operation on my funny bone...the doctor said I'll be in stitches for 2 weeks.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the pasta and its cooking water?
Their relationship was strained.
Their relationship was strained.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- everything's a little bit weird now
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Re: Horse Laughs
My new OC is basically a sparkledog except as an Eastern dragon.
...She's an extra long.
...She's an extra long.
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of...
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My pastry factory has been pretty successful...so far we've had a good turnover.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I was trying to shorten a pair of trousers, and now I've lost them. I'm sure they'll turn up eventually.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Which sausages are the most immature?
The brats.
The brats.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I recently started a boat shop in my wagon...the sails have been going though the roof.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
My wife said to put a baby monitor in the crib with our son...but I don't think lizards make very good pets for babies.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
An armed robber rushes into a real estate agent's office and yelled..."NOBODY MOVE!"
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?
Sediment always settles.
Sediment always settles.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a tree that’s stuck on a math problem?
Stumped.
Stumped.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is a vampire's favorite flavor of ice cream?
Vein-illa.
Vein-illa.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why don’t the Jedi have a navy?
Because sailing is a path to the dockside.
Because sailing is a path to the dockside.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I hosted a party for snails that don't have shells...it was a slugfest.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...we'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat?
He didn't get a good knight's leap.
He didn't get a good knight's leap.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do penny-pinchers make great hunters?
Because they’re good at picking up cents.
Because they’re good at picking up cents.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
In his spare time my dad races pigeons...I don’t know why, he never beats them.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do salads say in church?
Lettuce pray.
Lettuce pray.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers.
But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A cat walks into the vet and says, "Meow."
The vet says, "Okay, but where?"
The vet says, "Okay, but where?"
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I have many stories about my unfortunate attempts to bring horses to a halt...they're my tales of whoa.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")