Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends. (Shenanigans!)
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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 02, 2022 10:44 am

What do you call a line of men waiting to get a haircut?

A barberqueue.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 03, 2022 10:42 am

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 04, 2022 11:46 am

What did the bug imprisoned in a bottle of perfume say?

I’m in-a-scent!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 05, 2022 12:37 pm

What did the proud pirate dad say after seeing his son torch an enemy ship?

Arr, son.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 06, 2022 10:48 am

Why couldn't Cleopatra accept Mark Anthony's death?

She was the queen of denial.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:53 am

Why did the boomer have a no coins policy in his store?

He couldn’t tolerate change.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 08, 2022 10:57 am

Did you hear they just opened the worlds largest Lego store in Las Vegas?

People are lining up for blocks.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 09, 2022 10:47 am

Why are archers good at building planes?

Because they're experts in arrow dynamics.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 10, 2022 10:38 am

I was slightly surprised to learn that dogs' tongues are smooth...I thought they'd be ruff.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 11, 2022 1:30 pm

What kind of sandals do frogs wear?

Open toad.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 12, 2022 11:23 am

What is it called when you give money to a plains bison?

A buffaloan!

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:46 am

Orion's belt is a huge waste of space.

Terrible joke, only three stars.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 14, 2022 10:47 am

When I was a kid, my family used to move a lot...but I always found them.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:08 am

What's a hyena's favorite cookie?

Snickerdoodle.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:54 am

I visited the Air and Space Museum...but there was nothing there.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 17, 2022 10:45 am

Why can't Medusa find a lover?

Because everyone she meets has a heart of stone.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 18, 2022 1:10 pm

So how is the new Looney Tunes video game?

I don't like it, it has a lot of bugs.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 19, 2022 11:18 am

How does a tree get on the internet?

It logs on.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 20, 2022 10:39 am

Just had an operation on my funny bone...the doctor said I'll be in stitches for 2 weeks.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 21, 2022 12:26 pm

Did you hear about the pasta and its cooking water?

Their relationship was strained.

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Pocket
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by Pocket (?) » Tue Jun 21, 2022 5:27 pm

My new OC is basically a sparkledog except as an Eastern dragon.

...She's an extra long.
Warning: this post contains language
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 22, 2022 12:42 pm

My pastry factory has been pretty successful...so far we've had a good turnover.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 23, 2022 12:02 pm

I was trying to shorten a pair of trousers, and now I've lost them. I'm sure they'll turn up eventually.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jun 24, 2022 12:41 pm

Which sausages are the most immature?

The brats.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jun 25, 2022 12:48 pm

I recently started a boat shop in my wagon...the sails have been going though the roof.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jun 26, 2022 12:33 pm

My wife said to put a baby monitor in the crib with our son...but I don't think lizards make very good pets for babies.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jun 27, 2022 12:33 pm

An armed robber rushes into a real estate agent's office and yelled..."NOBODY MOVE!"

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jun 28, 2022 11:18 am

Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jun 29, 2022 12:25 pm

What do you call a tree that’s stuck on a math problem?

Stumped.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jun 30, 2022 11:58 am

What is a vampire's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vein-illa.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jul 01, 2022 12:34 pm

Why don’t the Jedi have a navy?

Because sailing is a path to the dockside.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jul 02, 2022 12:40 pm

I hosted a party for snails that don't have shells...it was a slugfest.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jul 03, 2022 12:48 pm

Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo...we'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Mon Jul 04, 2022 10:38 am

Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat?

He didn't get a good knight's leap.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Tue Jul 05, 2022 12:17 pm

Why do penny-pinchers make great hunters?

Because they’re good at picking up cents.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Wed Jul 06, 2022 12:58 pm

In his spare time my dad races pigeons...I don’t know why, he never beats them.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Thu Jul 07, 2022 12:05 pm

What do salads say in church?

Lettuce pray.

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by PonyHag714 (?) » Fri Jul 08, 2022 12:22 pm

God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers.

But in the end, he went with plan Bee.

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sat Jul 09, 2022 11:31 am

A cat walks into the vet and says, "Meow."

The vet says, "Okay, but where?"

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PonyHag714
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by PonyHag714 (?) » Sun Jul 10, 2022 11:33 am

I have many stories about my unfortunate attempts to bring horses to a halt...they're my tales of whoa.

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