The Round Stable

"i prefer your horses to my human beings actually"

PictishBeast wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:43 pm

*is a lonely friendless nerd but somehow becomes social, popular, and outgoing when surrounded by horses*

To be fair, this is the basic premise behind several popular young adult novels.

*has never been in a relationship but knows it is inevitable he will win the heart of the fair maiden Fluttershy*

PictishBeast wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:50 pm

*euphoric over arriving in Equestria*

*plunged into a pit of despair at the realization that this means nothing but shallow old-school arcade games and no 100-hour-long anime-as-fuck JRPGs*

*plunged into pit of joy at the realization that the ponies are suckers for amateur community theatre and are more than happy to recreate scenes from said anime as fuck JRPGs*

:"You Spoony Bard!"
:"If you're just going to make up words..."

*complains to Princess Celestia about Equestria's lack of positive male role models*

"i'll never see my friends and family ever again"

*tries to say hi to Rarity, is run over by a gigantic Pony Joe donut*
i call this fic "tragedy in the land of the pretty horsies"

"Why is nobody weirded out that I know everything about them without them having ever met me?"

*sniffs at Twilight, "I liked you better before you had wings"*

"M'filly"

*insists on calling the cross-eyed pony Derpy, even if she doesn't actually use that name*

*nervous*

"what do you mean i have to help clean up winter and perform physical activity"

*stands in the center of Ponyville theatrically shaking his head*

"This whole place was way, way better during Season 1."

*sighs loudly*

I'm NOT A BRONY and this situation is JUST TOO WACKY FOR ME!

*is secretly swept up in a cavalcade of love and friendship after breaking out of my icy exterior*

*probably bones a horse later*

*fetal position*

*gets bored after a week, develops an addiction to magic comic books*

*tries to woo luna*

*hopes to starve to death before anypony notices me*

"can you send me back to my homeworld, thanks"

*is immediately sent to magic kindergarten*

*drops by the school uninvited*

"Good afternoon, Miss Cheerilee. May I ask if your students are familiar with the works of Nikola Tesla?"

Assuming there's no way back, seek out some magic pony to just transform me.

into a Pegasus, of course.

"Yo, can I crash at your place? I don't have a house."

Helix wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:57 pm

how the fuck does the economy work in equestria, i'm assuming somebrony wrote up a multi-page, several thousand word essay about it

is equestria familiar with anarchy and or libertarianism

Octavia wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:54 pm

"Yo, can I crash at your place? I don't have a house."

*says this to Rainbow Dash, hijinks ensue upon trying to walk in her cloud house*

*Greets Celestia*

"I greatly value my intelligence and scientific fact over any silly fiction book found in the Castle of the Two Sisters. In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony princess's blessing, but because I am enlightened by my intelligence."

"I read a lot of books in my universe too, Twilight. Have you ever heard of Ayn Rand?"

*stands in the Ponyville town square*

"For twelve years you have been asking, 'Who is John Goat?'"

e: damn, sniped by Octavia

*is committed to the ponyville hospital having gone bark raving mad*

*follows Twilight around, explaining to her in detail all the ways in which she didn't adhere to the scientific method in Feeling Pinkie Keen*

*it turns out that adult humans are no bigger than Angel*

*gets eaten*

*looks sadly at dumpy human body*

"I...I thought I'd turn into my OC..."

"This hay tastes like shit."

*passes through Equestria Girls portal, becomes high school sophomore*

PictishBeast wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:14 pm

*passes through Equestria Girls portal, becomes high school sophomore*

Hey man, no need to terrify me right before bed. Don't think I'll be sleeping tonight

Twilight, have you met Ember? He's the new pony around town. I think h-he likes me a little
maybe
No, I haven't! What about you, Pinkie Pie?
He's helping me put on the best party in ponyville history by introducing me to!
He's not a very good racer though, could barely manage a full trot! What a loveable nerd!
Well, he's certainly bold about fashion, always dressed in those full linen white sheets, even after labor day
Huh... Well, that's interesting, but Applejack, you've been rather quiet, have you met this Ember?
...
I have... and I got to be frank with ya'll. He's a monkey. A giant monkey.

Well that's an odd accusation.
I'm serious! He's a giant monkey!
Now Applejack, you can't be serious. He's just... large for a pony is all. Look, here he comes now! Trust me, you'll see he's no monkey!
He's a monkey I tell ya, a giant monkey!
Oh! Ember dahling! Please come here! We'd like you to meet our friend, the fair Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Hello there.
Ah, Princess Twilight Sparkle, an honor to meet you. I've heard so much about you from your friends.
Just Twilight is fine. So, when did you move to ponyville?
Look! His back legs never move, and his tail never swooshes! He's a monkey I tell you!
Be quiet Applejack, this is no time to offend a new neighbor!
Heh. Neighbor.
I beg pardon?
Oh, nothing! I'm a recent arrival as a matter of fact, though I've managed to bump into your friends by coincidence one way or another.
I threw him a welcome to town sheeted stranger party!
Right.
So, er, Ember fellar, why's your neck so long? You a giraffe.... or maybe a monkey?
I will murder you
Oh, my great grandfather on my mothers side was a giraffe, so long necks run in the family. That makes sense, right?
Uhh...
Makes sense to me!
Of course it does! I swear Applejack if you say another word...
Hey Twilight, you gonna do anything about this?
No I kind of want to see how this plays out.
Oh yeah? How's about your complete lack of a snout?
Oh.... I uh... Lost it. In the war.
What war? The great monkey war?
... The war on poverty?
See, charming and generous, if a little odd looking, and you doubted him Applejack!
.... Aaaaanyways, I think I'll be going now. Nice meeting you Twilight, and I'll see the rest of you around.
*Steps on the tail end of his sheet as he walks away, causing it to pull off and reveal him to be a six foot human with the hind end of a hose costume attached behind him*
... Fuck.
See, I told you he was a monkey!

I just remembered, I have an appointment in alpacapoco *Flees*
And don't come back now y'hear! Ya nasty varmint!
I told you he was a monkey.

Ghosty-Boo, Ghosty-Boo what's the matter with you? You wear a disguise to look like pony guys, but your not a horse, you're a Ghosty-Boo.

*is a non-brony, GET ME OUT OF EQUESTRIA!*

[quote="The post_id=56108 time=1410231180 user_id=81]Assuming there's no way back, seek out some magic pony to just transform me.

into a Pegasus, of course.[/quote]*doesn't do this*

*the fantasy of becoming a different creature may be appealing but in reality it would be a horrific change that would probably break any living being's mind, not to mention changing the physical structure of your brain like you would need to with a differently shaped skull could permanently change who you are, as a person, bringing up a Star Trek-teleporter type moral/philosophical quandry where it is unclear if the original creature, you as you once were, has effectively 'died' in the process of replacing you with a creature that is similar, but not quite you as an individual*

*anyway id be a unicorn*