So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

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Skipper
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So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 4:52 am

He rode his ass all the way from Athens to Delphi, up the south-western slope of Mount Parnassus until he came across a deep, dark chasm partly obscured by rocks.
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 4:55 am

"Yo, Pythia!" he shouted out.

"It ya boy, Cha to the Ere to the Phon! Whazzzzup?!"
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:17 am

After a short while the old woman popped her head out of the crevice.

"Keep it down, you fool! Apollo has just returned from an orgy at Bacchus' new pad and is sleeping off a hangover of godly proportions!"

It was only then that she fully recognized the individual standing at her figurative doorstep.

"What! You again, Chaerephon!? Go away, I already told you: I ain't got no dank nugz to be selling you, and even if I did I wouldn't!"
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:21 am

I can't believe Homer smoked a J everyday while writing the Iliad. :pinkiewindow:
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:47 am

ToastGhost wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:21 am
I can't believe Homer smoked a J everyday while writing the Iliad. :pinkiewindow:
YSK that if you add up the numerological values of the letters H+O+M+E+R you get "420".
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by DaikatunaRevengeance (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:47 am

homer j illiad
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;) ❤️ :twasnothin: ❤️ :fancyhat:

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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:52 am

Charaephon was taken aback by this outburst.

"No no no, Pyth, that's whack, girl! That ain't why I'm here AT ALL! You wound me--you really do!"
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:10 am

The Pythia rolled her eyes.

"Ugh. Fine. Whatever." At this the high priestess inhaled some of the sweet vapor rising from the chasm.

"Speak, so that the oracle may listen. What is Apollo's divine knowledge you request to be divulged through this mortal tongue?"
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:14 am

Chaerephon: ...
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:15 am

Oracle: ...
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:15 am

Chaerephon: ......
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:16 am

Oracle: ......
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:19 am

Chaerephon: Lol dammit it's on the tip of my tongue... That doob I had earlier was tight af lmao
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 3:52 pm

"Look, dude, you're kinda wasting my time here," the oracle spoke up, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Now I won't say this wasn't fun (although it really wasn't) and we shouldn't meet up again sometime soon (we really shouldn't!), but if it's all the same to you I'd like to get back to work.

"I mean, I still have to get this massive red wine stain out of Apollo's robe and since bleach kinda hasn't been invited yet I bet you can imagine the pickle I'm in right now.

"So why don't you get back on your little donkey right there and ride off into the sunset, back to your Academy to hand out hexameters or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing, I really don't care what, as long as you're doing it someplace away from me.

"I mean, seriously. That miasma you're spreading around is extremely offensive and I swear I can see it permeating the rocks around my chasm, deteriorating their structural integrity."
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Sun Mar 22, 2020 4:05 pm

But then Chaerephon pulled a piece of fabric out of his garment.

"Wait, wait, chill, chill, I knew I'd forget it so I wrote it down but then I uh, like forgot I wrote it down. But here it is!"

Squinting his eyes he proceeded to study the writing.

"So. Uh, yeah. It starts with this rhomboid, and it has this like wavy top side and "40" written inside; and then there is this like triangle but there's a big X going through it; and, and then, oh man, it's like a circle in a square with a dot..."
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:03 am

I don't recall going to see the oracle. :ponder:
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:38 am

ToastGhost wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:03 am
I don't recall going to see the oracle. :ponder:
That's not a bug, it's a feature.
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Mon Mar 23, 2020 7:21 am

As the Pythia watched Chaerephon's clueless attempt to read the care label in his clothes, a vision flashed before her eyes; of an ethereal font of knowledge, contained entirely within the skies, written thousands of years from now.
Wikipedia wrote:Plutarch said[33] that the Pythia's life was shortened through the service of Apollo. The sessions were said to be exhausting. At the end of each period the Pythia would be like a runner after a race or a dancer after an ecstatic dance, which may have had a physical effect on the health of the Pythia.
"True dat," she thought.
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:06 pm

Skipper wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:38 am
That's not a bug, it's a feature.
:pinkiewindow:

Wait, maybe I just smoked too much weed with her. :-I
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by Skipper (?) » Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:22 pm

ToastGhost wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:06 pm
:pinkiewindow:

Wait, maybe I just smoked too much weed with her. :-I
The Pythia did not "just smoke weed", thank you very much. :rainbert:

She would inhale the holy vapors emanating from her perforated tripod, after which she would enter a frenzied, ecstatic trance state to deliver her prophecies; in dactylic hexameter, obviously, and in a voice that was often described as "more than human".
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Re: So this pothead went to see Apollo's oracle

Post by ToastGhost (?) » Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:28 pm

When I do that they just send me to the hospital! :rainbert:
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