Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
Wanna hang out?
Wanna hang out?
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do you buy a Christmas gift for your pig?
Hamazon.
Hamazon.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does Santa Claus keep track of every fireplace he has already visited?
Well, he keeps a log.
Well, he keeps a log.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Because they're Santa's star bucks!
Because they're Santa's star bucks!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is it so difficult to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered.
Their days are numbered.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
You can always sense his presents.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How does a gingerbread man make his bed?
With a cookie sheet!
With a cookie sheet!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?
This one’s gonna sleigh you!
This one’s gonna sleigh you!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What was Dr. Frankenstein’s New Year’s resolution?
To make new friends.
To make new friends.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What New Year's resolution should a basketball player never make?
To travel more.
To travel more.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's a spider's New Year's resolution?
To spend less time on the web.
To spend less time on the web.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A phone and a firework were arrested on New Year's. One was charged, the other was let off.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31?
Ring in the New Year.
Ring in the New Year.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?
He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why should you stand on your left foot during the New Year's Eve countdown?
So you can start the New Year on the right foot.
So you can start the New Year on the right foot.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the most important part of a heavy metal band?
The lead singer.
The lead singer.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I figured out how to use the coin press...it finally makes cents now.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the toughest part about eating a clock?
It's time consuming.
It's time consuming.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do clouds keep their money?
In a fog bank.
In a fog bank.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is the most relaxing planet?
Naptune.
Naptune.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall.
He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.
He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why can't you put a desk fan on its back?
Well, you could, but it would blow up.
Well, you could, but it would blow up.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do pigs invest their money?
The slop market.
The slop market.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the candy maker who was seeing double?
His mind was playing Twix on him.
His mind was playing Twix on him.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call toast in a cage?
Bread in captivity.
Bread in captivity.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call crows that stick close together?
Velcrows.
Velcrows.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you get when you cross a hippie with a ninja?
Peace and quiet.
Peace and quiet.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear David Copperfield has stopped doing the old trapdoor disappearing trick?
It was just a stage he was going through.
It was just a stage he was going through.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A bass guitar and an oboe had an affair.
It was very low key.
It was very low key.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I got a card today and on the envelope in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND."
"How am I going to pick it up?" I thought to myself .
"How am I going to pick it up?" I thought to myself .
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call an ox that’s gone gluten-free?
Silly yak.
Silly yak.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is the moon so grumpy?
It's just going through one of its phases.
It's just going through one of its phases.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Whoever coined the term “Expiration Date” made a huge mistake.
It should have been called Spoiler Alert.
It should have been called Spoiler Alert.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What Valentine's message can you find in a honeycomb?
"Bee mine."
"Bee mine."
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
I find you very attractive.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do chefs show their love?
They whisk you off your feet!
They whisk you off your feet!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
A pouch potato.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the astronaut couple break up?
They needed space.
They needed space.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn’t the dog answer his phone?
It was ringing with no collar ID.
It was ringing with no collar ID.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")