Horse Laughs
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- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why does the little cannabis plant spend every other week at his father's house?
Because his parents have joint custody.
Because his parents have joint custody.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who’s in charge of the pencil case?
The ruler.
The ruler.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I hate going to M.C. Hammer's house....he won't let me touch anything.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why didn’t the gardener cut his roses?
Because they used to be buds.
Because they used to be buds.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song?
Rebel Rebel.
Rebel Rebel.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Because there were so many knights.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I have a female horse who sleeps during the day.
She's such a nightmare!
She's such a nightmare!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you know that the queen is only a foot tall?
She's a ruler.
She's a ruler.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior officer?
General Mills.
General Mills.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why are pigs the worst drivers ever?
Because they hog the road.
Because they hog the road.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
To the guy who invented the zero, thanks for nothing.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
An owl told me a joke...it was a hoot.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's the theme song of an Apple Store?
Return Of The Mac.
Return Of The Mac.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I switched my girlfriend’s bed with a trampoline. She really hit the roof.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do mermaids clean their tails?
With Tide.
With Tide.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I have a secret joke about jams but I'm not going to tell you...you might spread it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- Mechanical Ape
- Not slim, definitely shady
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Re: Horse Laughs
How do you docs decide who's sane and who's crazy?
Oh, we have a simple test. We give the patient a teaspoon and a bucket, and then we tell them to empty a full bathtub.
Ah! And if they use the bucket instead of the spoon, they're sane.
No, the sane ones pull the plug.
Oh, we have a simple test. We give the patient a teaspoon and a bucket, and then we tell them to empty a full bathtub.
Ah! And if they use the bucket instead of the spoon, they're sane.
No, the sane ones pull the plug.
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I have an empty school hall for sale...assembly required.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A man's wife left him for a tractor salesman.
She wrote him a John Deere letter.
She wrote him a John Deere letter.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A curious little boy asked his father if he knew why it was so dark outside.
Father replies: No, son.
Father replies: No, son.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What does a pirate say when he puts his peg leg in a freezer?
Shiver me timbers!
Shiver me timbers!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink...the bartender says for you, no charge.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
If my current career doesn’t work out I’m going try my hand as a honey farmer...it’s my plan bee.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I just found out the Kool-Aid man plays on a baseball team...he's the pitcher.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's a pickle's favorite game show?
Let's Make A Dill.
Let's Make A Dill.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
I went to the dentist to put all caps on my teeth...now I can't help but shout every time I talk.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What is Iron Man underneath his suit?
Stark naked.
Stark naked.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What's an army general's favorite date?
March 4th.
March 4th.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do plugs like to shop?
The outlet mall.
The outlet mall.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Did you hear about the broke tailor?
He’s hanging on by a thread.
He’s hanging on by a thread.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?
Nice shades.
Nice shades.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do you call a knockoff Hasbro toy?
My Little Phony.
My Little Phony.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
What do bees do if they need a ride?
Wait at the buzz stop.
Wait at the buzz stop.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined. The doctor says: “They’re benign.”
The pirate replies: “No, no doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here.”
The pirate replies: “No, no doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here.”
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Most garden statuary is only 30cm tall and wears red hats.
It’s a little gnome fact.
It’s a little gnome fact.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Where do pigs hear their favorite songs?
On the Ham Radio.
On the Ham Radio.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
The first humans saw the sun go up and then back down in 24 hours...and so they decided to call it a day.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
A giant fly has attacked the local police station.
Police have called in the SWAT team.
Police have called in the SWAT team.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?
Because he was grounded!
Because he was grounded!
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")
- PonyHag714
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Re: Horse Laughs
Why is it a waste to study history?
Because there is no future in it.
Because there is no future in it.
("Don't try to reform me, Hag, because I'm made of cold stone.")