Page 48 of 69
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2022 9:42 pm
by Mechanical Ape
Spike, didn’t you promise to dust the foyer?
Uh oh. Yeah, I did.
And didn’t I promise to ground you if it wasn’t done?
Yes, but since I didn’t keep my promise, I won’t hold you to yours.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2022 9:50 pm
by Mechanical Ape
Hey sis, you think you’re strong? I bet I can push something into town in a wheelbarrow and you can’t push it back!
Bet accepted, sugarcube! This oughta be good. Here’s your wheelbarrow.
Okay, now get in.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2022 10:49 am
by PonyHag714
So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?
Guilty as charged.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2022 10:51 am
by PonyHag714
Why didn't Thor go to the party with his brother?
Because it was too Loki for his taste.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 10:43 am
by PonyHag714
How much did it cost the Miami Heat to lose their spot in the 2021 NBA playoffs?
10-15 Bucks.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:39 am
by Mechanical Ape
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2022 2:18 am
by PonyHag714
A skeleton lost his funny bone.
It was quite humerus.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2022 2:05 pm
by PonyHag714
What does Big Foot keep time with?
His sasqwatch.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2022 12:59 pm
by PonyHag714
A bus full of jazz musicians has broken down on the highway, blocking all lanes.
Police say to expect some long jams.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2022 7:46 pm
by DaikatunaRevengeance
hah
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2022 10:48 am
by PonyHag714
I bought a knife than can cut through four loaves of bread at once...it’s a four loaf cleaver.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
I'm so mad! I found out my grandfather clock is full of bugs.
I guess it's like they say, time flies.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2022 2:07 am
by PonyHag714
Guy was giving away free marionette dolls...no strings attached.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2022 10:41 am
by PonyHag714
There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language.
We call him the Village Idiom.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2022 10:51 am
by PonyHag714
I was boiling some noodles until the pot suddenly began to float.
Needless to say, it was soup rising.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 12:43 pm
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the big fight last night at the Long John Silvers drive-thru?
Battered fish were everywhere.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2022 1:40 pm
by PonyHag714
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can't believe it's not better.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2022 1:49 pm
by DaikatunaRevengeance
dohoho
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
Why do birds always congregate on power wires?
So they can hang out with their friends online.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2022 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick?
Cause he wanted to join the Maple Leafs.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:50 am
by PonyHag714
How did the vegetable politely ask for a date?
“Peas be my Valentine.”
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...that's just spam.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2022 12:53 pm
by PonyHag714
Why did the cat stop moving as soon as it stood up?
Because it was on paws.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
What happens when you take away half of a person's IQ?
They become "Q".
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you a whole watt.”
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2022 10:45 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentine’s Day?
Her heart wasn’t in it.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:48 am
by PonyHag714
What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2022 10:50 am
by PonyHag714
What did one pickle say to another?
You mean a great dill to me!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 11:56 am
by PonyHag714
What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"There's so mushroom in my heart for you!"
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2022 1:24 pm
by PonyHag714
A police officer came across a pair of boys eating fireworks and batteries.
He decided to charge one and let the other off.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
How does a witch style her hair?
She uses scare spray.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2022 10:51 am
by PonyHag714
Have you heard about Gucci's new line of baby clothes?
Gucci-goo.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2022 12:44 pm
by PonyHag714
Why do melons have to get married in churches?
Because they cantaloupe.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2022 10:44 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem?
She was taken for granite.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2022 10:52 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?
The bleach boys.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2022 12:26 pm
by PonyHag714
What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill?
A lambslide.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2022 12:36 pm
by DaikatunaRevengeance
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2022 1:31 pm
by PonyHag714
The coolest thing about my new Porsche is that it lets me know when the rear wing is raised.
Spoiler alert.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2022 1:32 pm
by DaikatunaRevengeance
hah