Page 51 of 69
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2022 1:10 pm
by PonyHag714
Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle.
The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2022 10:50 am
by PonyHag714
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2022 1:19 pm
by PonyHag714
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a droid that always takes the longest route?
R2 Detour.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:45 am
by PonyHag714
I met a guy who cross-bred insects...
...he was all right at first, but I soon got tired of his ant-ticks.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2022 10:48 am
by PonyHag714
There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA...the cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2022 1:04 pm
by PonyHag714
Fun fact: members of the equine family can send messages to each other by stamping the ground in distinct patterns.
It's their Horse Code.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun May 01, 2022 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
My brother is so dumb he got fired from the Dollar store...because he couldn't remember the prices.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon May 02, 2022 10:36 am
by PonyHag714
What's the pirate's law for equitable retribution?
An Aye for an Aye.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 10:54 am
by PonyHag714
What's a spider's favorite fast food item?
French Flies.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed May 04, 2022 2:04 pm
by PonyHag714
Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu May 05, 2022 10:41 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
He went to see Closed for the Winter.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri May 06, 2022 10:41 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to eating salt?
Don't worry, he was cured.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat May 07, 2022 12:56 pm
by PonyHag714
Forwards, it’s heavy. Backwards, it’s not. What is it?
A ton.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun May 08, 2022 12:36 pm
by PonyHag714
Which fast food chain would be a good basketball player?
Dunkin' Donuts.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon May 09, 2022 10:43 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a hen looking at lettuce?
A chicken sees her salad.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon May 09, 2022 6:38 pm
by Pocket
I'm trying to get a job in the moisturizer industry. Any advice?
Apply daily.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue May 10, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
What remains stationary no matter how hard you push it?
An envelope.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 10:41 am
by PonyHag714
My friend said he couldn't pay his water bill...so I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu May 12, 2022 10:50 am
by PonyHag714
Bono and the Edge walk into a bar, the barman looks up and says not U2 again.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri May 13, 2022 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.
It's Tangled and Frozen.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat May 14, 2022 12:21 pm
by PonyHag714
A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production...I had to bale him out.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun May 15, 2022 12:26 pm
by PonyHag714
I bought a warehouse full of soup stock...now I'm a bouillonaire.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains."
"Pull yourself together, man!" replies the doctor.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call a dog serving on a submarine?
A subwoofer.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed May 18, 2022 10:41 am
by PonyHag714
What is Canada’s national board game?
Sorry.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu May 19, 2022 10:40 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear that they're broadcasting the World Origami Championships?
It's on paper-view.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
How do you tell who at the playground plays the trombone?
They can't swing and are always complaining about the slide.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat May 21, 2022 1:01 pm
by PonyHag714
I heard the government is going to put chips in our brain.
I want sour cream and onion.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun May 22, 2022 12:40 pm
by PonyHag714
Little Red Riding Hood was involved in an accident.
Paramedics are on the scene but she's not out of the woods yet.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon May 23, 2022 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
Why did the capillary love to look at himself in the mirror?
He was a little vein.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue May 24, 2022 10:46 am
by PonyHag714
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school...never to be heard from again.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed May 25, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call two birds stuck together?
Velcrows.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 10:44 am
by PonyHag714
What is a carpenters favorite band?
Nine inch nails.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 10:47 am
by PonyHag714
What social media does Captain hook hate?
Tik-tok.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat May 28, 2022 12:25 pm
by PonyHag714
I answered my front door this morning and was punched in the face by a 5 foot tall beetle.
That must have been the nasty bug that's going around.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun May 29, 2022 11:28 am
by PonyHag714
I used to be in a band called Boomerang...we’re about to have a big comeback.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon May 30, 2022 10:44 am
by PonyHag714
What kind of crazy creature do you get when you mix a yak and a lion?
A maney-yak.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue May 31, 2022 10:42 am
by PonyHag714
What do you say when your English teacher is crying?
"There, their, they're".
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2022 10:49 am
by PonyHag714
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
That's just how I roll.