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Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2022 11:33 am
by PonyHag714
My brother is so dumb he got fired from the dollar store...because he couldn't remember the prices.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
I’ve been trying to paint my windows...but instead I might just draw the curtains.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?
Sediment always settles.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2022 11:52 am
by PonyHag714
I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire...spoiler alert.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2022 11:26 am
by PonyHag714
What was the name of the King’s extra knight?
Sir Plus.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2022 11:32 am
by PonyHag714
Why is that guy directing the orchestra so electrifying?
Because he is the conductor.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 12:06 pm
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the geometry teacher who left his parrot’s cage open?
Polygon.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:39 am
by PonyHag714
What’s a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2022 11:29 am
by PonyHag714
If you see a habanero on your doorstep, put a sweater on...it's a little chili outside.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:35 am
by PonyHag714
Why can't a pulsar be observed by any computer controlled optical telescope?
Video killed the radio star.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2022 11:41 am
by PonyHag714
I just quit my job at the helium plant...I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
What is the liquid inside the iPhone’s battery called?
Apple juice.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2022 11:29 am
by PonyHag714
Why does a momma kangaroo hate the rain?
Because on those days, the kids have to play inside.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2022 11:42 am
by PonyHag714
Why does Ganon hate surfing the web?
There are too many Links.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 11:43 am
by PonyHag714
Instead of yelling at my family I used to yell into a colander...all it did was strain my voice.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2022 10:38 am
by PonyHag714
Do you know why Scooby Doo is the most viewed cartoon in Denmark?
Because he’s a Great Dane.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2022 11:49 am
by PonyHag714
Someone told me cake jokes are cheesy.
I'm pretty sure mine's batter.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2022 11:37 am
by PonyHag714
How do aliens harvest their crops?
With tractor beams.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2022 11:36 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo?
It was otter chaos.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2022 12:17 pm
by PonyHag714
I went to a store that sells door locks for little people...low key, it was pretty nice.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2022 11:36 am
by PonyHag714
And the award for the best neck wear of the year goes to…
It’s a tie!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2022 11:38 am
by PonyHag714
Why is it so easy to track Santa on Christmas Eve?
Because he always accepts cookies.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2022 11:47 am
by PonyHag714
We should let Netflix run the next pandemic…they don’t let anything last more than three seasons.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2022 11:42 am
by PonyHag714
Why do leprechauns not like fool's gold?
Because it's a sham rock.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2022 11:47 am
by PonyHag714
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2022 11:40 am
by PonyHag714
Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?
You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap size.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2022 11:41 am
by PonyHag714
What is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips?
Sultan vinegar.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2022 12:25 pm
by PonyHag714
What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
Picking his nose.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:46 am
by PonyHag714
Did you hear about the curbs going on strike?
They're lining the streets in protest.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2022 10:44 am
by PonyHag714
I inherited my great-grandfather’s antique wig-making equipment.
It’s a family hairloom.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 10:44 am
by PonyHag714
What did the seed say to the flower?
Okay Bloomer.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2022 12:12 pm
by PonyHag714
This is the hammer, this is the screwdriver, this is the wrench...you know the drill.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2022 1:08 pm
by PonyHag714
The person who invented the Lint-Roller really helped to get me out of some hairy situations.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 6:30 pm
by PonyHag714
My office computer is so old...when it started running slow, instead of more RAM, the IT guy installed more beads.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2022 11:59 am
by PonyHag714
Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
The baa baa shop!
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2022 10:54 am
by PonyHag714
I would like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.
I'm sorry, we only accept cash.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:48 am
by PonyHag714
I have many stories about my unfortunate attempts to bring horses to a halt...they're my tales of whoa.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 1:53 pm
by PonyHag714
What is the opposite of Lady Fingers?
Mentoes.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2022 10:44 am
by PonyHag714
Why didn’t the guitar drive to the store?
Because the piano had the keys.
Re: Horse Laughs
Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2022 10:54 am
by PonyHag714
I told my kid to not open the door for anyone while I’m not home...now I’m stuck outside.